Playground talk??? Give me some ideas

[PoppetUK]

Hi all,

My DD is in year 2. I think she has quite a fun, personality. I think our family dynamics / values mean that I can see her as quite young.

She's been at a new school and I think culturally it's quite different to where she was in a warm climate running about and playing on climbing frames (flying foxes, monkey bars). She started off quite playfully talking about boys friends in a silly way.

All of a sudden, she comes out with that her peers are asking her if she's going to have sex with x and then turned into some whispers of x is going to have sex with y. I asked her what she thought they meant. She replies "well if I'm going to love him". I'm not too sure what the other kids would have been thinking.

We are thinking about what to say to DD. Although she repeated it I think she felt embarrassed for some attention that came her way that someone else started. I am totally convinced she hasn't a clue what really was going on.

Have you got any ideas of what you might say in this situation. Do I speak to the teacher?

Thanks

I'm a teacher. I would like to hear about this, especially if you're worried. It's preying on her mind for her to tell you about it. For what it's worth I expect most of the other children won't really understand what they're saying either.

Thanks for the quick response. I'd hoped they wouldn't. It just seems like she got caught up in a comment from someone that knew that word then it drew loads of attention (partly unwanted and partly wanted - she then tried it on me for my reaction!). I suppose I'd like to let the teacher know so that at least if that sort of talk was going on she could say that it isn't appropriate. Perhaps the meaning is less of the issue really more about just using the word for effect.

Yes let the teacher know. Probably one of the kids commenting has older siblings. It isn't appropriate.

orgive me if I am wrong, but you said when you were in a warm climate. Does this mean that you've recently moved to the UK from abroad?
I have the same worries about my DD, we will be moving back to England soon and she'll start at junior school in Septemeber.
She's never lived in the UK, so is, IMO, a bit naive. I think she will struggle a bit because she is an exprat brat.
Watching with interest.

I agree talk to the teacher. They can address it sensitively as a whole class issue (without identifying anyone), if necessary, or individuals.
As an aside, many young children mention the word sex without a clue as to what it really means, so don't worry too much about that bit.

I think Major has hit it on the spot: no doubt there is one child in the playground with older siblings who is doing exactly what your dd is doing and repeating something they don't understand. I'd have a gentle word with the teacher "just to let you know this is going on, and we have of course told dd not to use this expression". And just explain gently to dd that having sex is something grownups do but not something she should really talk about to other children, reassure her that you are there to answer any questions she may have.

I had that in yr 2 as a one-off incident. I pointed out that sex is what you do to have babies, which made it sufficiently obvious that it was for grown ups and not children.

We live in a bit of a backwater, but this doesn't sound like an everyday year 2 topic of conversation to me, OP and kreecher. I agree with Major and cory about older siblings.

I'd talk to the teacher maybe but I guess some Y2s might know what sex is especially if they have older sibs - I wouldn't worry about it too much - and at some point they do need to know about it so maybe this is the time? as Dilyprice suggestion will be good

Agree, not appropraiet, have a quiet word with teacher. I am the most lax, easy going, benign-neglect parent, but I don't want ds1 talking about sex. And as far as I know, no one is his class does. If they did, I am sure I would hear about it, because gossip is rife, but discussing sex at 7, is just not o.k.

I'd say that a lot of children with younger siblings will know what sex is (as they may have asked before their sibling was born) and that if they know what it means it's something that is for adults and gross.

Words like "sexy" are often used on tv that is considered family viewing (eg. Britain's Got Talent) so I think that many children use it without realising.

Thanks for all the replies. Really helped me she is for what is was (was NOT) etc.

I will have a quick word with the teacher this week if I can get a chance.

Thanks again.