Help needed Re settling in problems

[Henwelly]

We are having an absolute nightmare with DS settling in at school. He is displaying behaviour that is so bad the school want him assessed for special needs. The problem is he does not display this behaviour at home and didnt at nursery - I dont think the school believe me.

I am the first to admit he is lively, opinionated, argumentative and various other things and when I go through descriptions of ADHD, Aspergers, APD and others if im honest he does have some of the commen traits for most of the but not all the time and mainly/most prominantly at school.

My question really is are any other parents effectively having the school pushing for some kind of diagnosis of special needs?

Also for those of you with special needs children my son can do the following things when with his family:
Play with other children with no problems.
Do as he is told (not without a bit of argueing first)
Is never violent (except for the odd little spat with his sister but never proper violent outbursts)
Doesnt tantrum
Will go to town quite happily and walk about, sit and have a nice lunch out - dont get me wrong I have to remind him to sit down and walk with me etc

Is it possible for a child with special needs such as ADHD to be able to do the above when with his family but not at school?

He is hard work but I never feel at the end of my tether or that I cant deal with him because I can - so I dont understand the problem when he is at school iyswim

Would appreciate some thoughts

Our school suggested that we sought a neuro-development assessment for our son because of settling-in problems. I am still working through it all really; he doesn't seem that odd to me, but I guess with a universe of 2 children, it is hard to have a real view. I don't find him particularly tricky at home but again, I am not trying to run a class of 20 children - I think a key part of his issue is that he hasn't made the transition from 1:1 interactions to 1:10, so doesn't really react to group instructions. Also, he is just the same at school as at home (which, if you think about it, most children aren't, thank goodness for teachers' sanity). And I am used to him!
Equally, they could just not be managing very well with a boisterous little boy.
If you want to persue it, you can go to your GP and ask for a neuro-development referral, or approach the educational pyschology service of your local health authority (school, especially if maintained sector) should be able to help.
Go at your own pace, be guided by them but also don't be rushed.
Hope this is some help.

It may be that by getting this assessment done the school is hoping to get more funding so that they can provide more support for your DS. I think the school would only push for this if they believe it will benefit your DS, as schools have to pay a lot of money to get these assessments done.

No. This is not about money. It neither costs the school to assess nor do they reciece any extra money if he feta a dx.

They genuinely think he might have some SN. It is totally possible for you not to notice but school to. This is what happened to me. At 5 his SN wasn't obvious to me. It 9 it sure as he'll is.

Take all assessments with open arms. It is very hard to get a dx. You are very unlikely to get a false dx.
It is a horrible thing to go through. But far worse to ignore it until the problem gets worse.

Just wondering if he gets more one to one attention and you obviously have adapted to cope with his behaviour then he behaves differently in a large group vying for the teacher's attention and with associated noise levels and environment. Teachers have usually got a wider experience of the "norm" of the peer group and if his behaviour consistently falls outside this then there is surely nothing to lose by having an assessment. Does he have an IEP yet ?

Thankyou for your replies - we have been to see our local child development gp and have discovered he has hypermobile joints - so I assume this may be causing him pain and could be the reason why he is constantly on the move - Im also guessing prob the reason why he refuses to sit on the carpet!!!

Know this prob isnt the root of all the problems but I feel we are a step forward

Well done! A huge step forward.

Hope there is something that can be done to improve his pain......

My DS2 is hypermobile (with the usual associated weak core) and his OT does attribute much of his wriggliness on the carpet and chair to this. Is definitely why he tends to lie down on the floor too much (rather than sit nicely with crossed legs for long periods). Seems to be a common problem. Good luck with your excercise ball!

I dont really know what will happen now but she will send letters to my GP and the school she also mentioned foot inserts to help his legs - I already have an app with a craniel osteopath next week (was trying everything in desperation!!) so I think I will have a chat with him about it too.

Oh they are also going to do the ADHD questionnaire to rule that out - hopefully that will come back negative.

Does Occupational Therapy help hypermobile joints?

Post on the SN board, and I'm sure you'll get loads of good advice - or at least find out what your options are.