Any advice on wetting at school age 6?

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I have a son in year one who wets himself at school most days and never tells anyone when this has happened. He has always had these accidents since being toilet trained, everywhere, not just at school.

He has been being assessed for nearly 2 years for a reason, either medical or behavioural, for this. Initially by paeds and for the last 6 months by CAMHS.

School report no other issues with his behaviour and academically have no concerns. He gets extremely engrossed especially when reading and often says that going to the toilet is a waste of time. He spends most of his time at home reading, anything and everything from the Times Atlas to Roald Dahl and is always focussed.

I have now found out that some of the other boys are calling him stinky etc and running away from him at playtimes. This is obviously very distressing. As he does not tell school the other children usually notice before the teacher so it cannot be kept discreet.

Does anyone have any experience of this themselves or advice to offer us in handling the situation and also for the school? At the moment there is no confirmed reason such as a medical condition or a diagnosis of Aspergers.

Many thanks.

So sorry for your DS. My DS is 5 and has lots of troubles in that way too - we've seen everyone and no reason either and he concentrates a lot and can't bear to drag himself away from playing (so frustrating) - so far no name calling but I am anxious about it. You probably know them already but I use www.eric.org.uk/ and also www.brollysheets.co.uk/Help++Advice.html for some tips. Could you try talking to the other boy's mums? Sorry not much help but do wish you best.

I don't know if this helps but I used to teach a child who wet (and soiled) himself at school in Year 1.

In the end I had a discreet sticker chart for him, with a sticker awarded each hour for being dry. The emphasis was on his target - going to the toilet/staying dry - rather than on wetting. Someone (teaching assistant or teacher) would remind him each hour to go to the toilet. His target was referred to as his 'target' in class, without going into details. Plenty of children had targets for behaviour as well as work so this wasn't out of place. Also, the teaching assistant would check (just by looking/smelling when standing nearby) that he was clean, if not he was changed quickly. He was not punished or told off in any way if he did wet/soil himself: just gently reminded of his target.

This approach worked well, from what you've said the underlying reasons are quite different but a focus on a positively-phrased target with reminders and some form of reward (eg stickers) may help. Sorry if I'm just going over an approach that has already been tried/tested or is not appropriate for your DS.

Thinking about it, the sticker chart was divided into the sessions in the school day rather than hourly - so before play, play, after play, lunch, after lunch, afternoon play, hometime.

It was sent home every night for parents to see. Again, the emphasis was on praising dryness.

Thanks you very much for these helpful responses.

Primavera - I have used ERIC for advice frequently but had never heard of the other website so will look at that. We were expecting name calling in reception but have only been aware of it in year one. Are you happy with how your school handle it? What type of tests have you had?

Omicron - I like the idea of dividing up the day in this way. He has a vibrating watch set to go at these sort of intervals ie before play/lunchtimes. Is it difficult as a teacher to manage the toileting issues in year one (class of 30 with teacher and one TA) or did your pupil have additional support?

Have any other parents or teachers encountered these problems??

Any suggestions for reasons for accidents or techniques for management of the situation are welcome.

Many thanks.

The only additional help was a TA in the class. The staff on duty at lunch time helped remind him too. the sticker chart was something I did with a range of children with differing behavioural targets. I'd do it at the beginning and end of each session, just ask him if he'd done his target.

The key things were clear expectations, reminders and then praising the desired behaviour.

I realised that this boy had mostly experienced adults who were annoyed with his wetting, he needed a more positives focus.

What does the school do now for your DS? Do they have any strategies in place?

The only additional help was a TA in the class. The staff on duty at lunch time helped remind him too. the sticker chart was something I did with a range of children with differing behavioural targets. I'd do it at the beginning and end of each session, just ask him if he'd done his target.

The key things were clear expectations, reminders and then praising the desired behaviour.

I realised that this boy had mostly experienced adults who were annoyed with his wetting, he needed a more positive focus. This may not be the case for your DS, of course.

What does the school do now for your DS? Do they have any strategies in place?

Oops. posting from my phone.

well, I have a year 6 child who's still wetting himself at school :( in ds's case it's caused by constipation - his bowel is pressing against his bladder causing pressure which means leaking is more likely

we're currently trying to retrain his bladder - he's supposed to have at least 5 drinks a day and 5 corresponding wees

It took a long time, but I've finally got the school on board and one of the TAs takes him off for a chat and a drink (they have a competition to see who can drink fastest) and then he's supposed to go to the loo on the way back

unfortunately every day he comes home with pants which smell of old wee ... it's only a little leak so he doesn't even notice it happening, so it looks like it will be a long haul .... good luck with your ds

We have exactly the same thing with my five year old. He too is beginning to notice that this is not normal, and so are the other children. We've just got a referral to see a paediatric urologist for first stage investigations. I'm hoping that it's a relatively easy-to-solve medical problem, even the stress of a small operation would be better than the daily stress and grind of a serial wetter, both for us and most importantly, for my son himself. I can't imagine what we're going to do if this is a permanent problem :(