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Original poster

AIBU to think teacher isnt paying enough attention?

28 replies

Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 14:30

Didnt know whether to stick this here or AIBU.
About 3 months ago my son went for hearing test and concluded that he had considerable loss.
I spoke to his teacher who knew nothing of this and asked her to keep an eye out.
3 months on, i rang her and she said he's fine, nothing noticed etc. Which i fine quite unbelievable as i find his hearing loss quite obvious, as does my family and even strangers in the street who say hello notice his lack of response. He also had hearing test last week and same loss. His doctor said he is either clever and somehow compensates for his hearing loss or noone is paying enough attention.
He is booked in next friday for op (to have grommets put in)which should fix the problem immediately.
So is it worth me going having a word with the teacher and trying to politely say I'm surprised u havent noticed and erm what the hell is going on!! (any diplomatic suggestions welcomed!)
Or since the problem is (or hopefully will be) fixed should i just let it go and say nothing?

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MADABOUTTHEBOY2000 · 13/03/2011 14:47

I would pop in to see them and explain it as you have to us that although she hasnt noticed the loss of hearing it has been quite a lot and as an excuse to remind them say " i was worried how hes doing in his work as i dont want him to get behind in class if hes not pickiing up on everything shes saying ,and also let her know in person (a note to to the school to keep is a good idea too) about the op, it does seem bad they didnt notice anythig but i suppose say 30 kids 1 teacher and a TA are not going to have time to watch that closely and perhaps as you say hes compensating in some other way maybe lip reading a bit as we all lip read to a degree naturally , certainly worth a chat and re-reminder

canyou · 13/03/2011 14:52

How old is your son? Look at the classroom set up, is he sat near the front? teacher facing the class he is probably able to see the teachers face and may 'lip read' use her body language and that of the other children to get through the day, he has probably always done this so unless he is struggling with a subject it may not be noticed.
I was almost deaf in one ear but it was picked up through a hearing test at age 7, most of my teachers would not have noticed it unless they stood and taught from the back of the class behind me. Languages and music I did struggle with for a while as I could not hear tone.
PS I can still lip read and it drives my whispering DC banana's that I know what they are saying when telling secrets.

canyou · 13/03/2011 14:53

x-post with MADABOUTTHEBOYS2000

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 14:59

Hes 5 (in yr 1). 30 kids, 1 teacher and a ta or 2. He sits right at front on carpet space. And i do worry whether his work is sliding, he is a bright boy but somehow doesnt seem quite as bright as he was at start of school yr, tho i know they cant maintain same pace as get older. Its parents evening in about 6 wks so wasnt sure whether to hold off til then and ask bout his work then etc. Or have a word now while hes bout to go for op?

OP posts:
AlmightyCitrus · 13/03/2011 15:00

YA possibly BU.
I had some concerns about my DD2's hearing but the teacher said that she was fine, no problems in class, in fact on the top table and doing really well.

As it happens, she had terrible hearing loss but it didn't really manifest in class as she could read exceptionally well.
I don't think teachers can spot hearing problems if the child is generally well behaved and attentive in class, as much as you'd notice when you are hollering up the stairs for the umpteenth time trying to get them to come down for tea.

I think I said something along the lines of "Hello Miss, it turns out DD2 is a bit deaf after all and will be having grommets soon. Can you just keep an eye on her till then and make sure she doesn't get behind" and resisted all temptation to say "I told you so"!

Good luck for Friday, it's amazing the difference it makes. Smile

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 15:00

Ha canyou, I'll try to remember that one when i'm whispering something thats not meant for little ears!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 15:02

Thanx almighty, altho doc said its a simple enough proceedure I still worry somewhat, nice to hear from someone who been there. Was it really as simple as doc says? Canular straight in, and perfectly well when they wake up?

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 13/03/2011 15:08

When she says he's fine maybe she means he's coping ok with sitting at the front and with her checking he's understood when they go and away and work independently. 'Nothing noticed' might mean 'no visible distress at not hearing'.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 15:12

I know what u mean hocus but no sorry i wasnt clear, i was summising. She said something along lines which meant she was quite surprised and "could honestly say hadnt noticed any hearing loss tho he does sit at front"

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AlmightyCitrus · 13/03/2011 15:13

Oh yes, very simple. Immediate results.
My DD had some complications (as per usual where she is concerned) not related to the operation, but to another condition so had to stay in for a few days, other kids there went in the morning and were home for tea.
They had a magician in the kids ward and he was doing a little quiz and I remember whispering the answer in DD's ear and being so happy when she put her hand up and shouted the answer.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 15:13

Maybe I'll leave it then since problem is being fixed and just have a chat on parents eve about his overall work and get a general feel for whether there has been a slip or if i'm just expecting too much of him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 15:14

Sounds great almighty, cant wait for that then, no more repeating myself ten times, practically shouting, to the point of exasperation at the poor fella!

OP posts:
BlooCowWonders · 13/03/2011 15:20

But OP, I imagine you hadn't noticed that much if your ds has only just had a hearing test. Maybe not that obvious?

canyou · 13/03/2011 15:22

Flo I would mention it that he is going for the op and could she and or the TA keep an extra eye on him for a while. Better that they know then not know

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 15:47

Bloo hes had 3 hearing tests over a 6 month period. The first 6 months ago, from which the doctor led me to believe was normal then another 3 months ago, by which point doc did a u turn and said he had "considerable hearing loss" what annoyed me as i'd been getting annoyed with DS for saying "what" too often!! And then one last wk to which then booked him straight in for grommets next friday (after 3 months of ineffective antibiotics).

Btw almighty, what did u do for ear plugs? We r off to haven in 3 wks and i'm wondering how easy it is to buy right ones that fit as needed?

OP posts:
Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 15:48

I have told her bought the op but as she was teaching i didnt have time to say much else so feel the time has kinda passed thats why unsure bout making an additional visit and making a fuss.

OP posts:
canyou · 13/03/2011 16:00

I still use ear plugs when washing my hair/swimming I get them from the local sports shop, I get bees wax ones which seem to work really well will try find a link, but do ask the consultant for a recommendation as well

canyou · 13/03/2011 16:01

ear plugs

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 16:08

cheers canyou i'll wait and see what doc recommends then first

OP posts:
mrz · 13/03/2011 16:10

On any day in reception and KS1 there will be about a fifth of the class experiencing hearing loss so it is very common and most children manage to cope to an extent but it obviously does have an impact on learning if not resolved.
I've taught two boys who turned out to be profoundly deaf and neither of their mums had noticed.

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 16:19

ok mrz, well i think as the problem is being resolved i should just wait til parents eve and express my concerns there if there r any by then.

OP posts:
mrz · 13/03/2011 16:59

with respect it won't be resolved until his hearing is normal but grommets are obviously a start and it's good that he is finally being given appropriate treatment

Original poster
Flojo1979 · 13/03/2011 17:02

Oh, i was led to believe the grommets would be the miracle cure, walk in friday morning with hearing loss and wake up from op suddenly can hear everything much better. Obviously, unless there were some unlucky complications.

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itisnotgoingwelltoday · 13/03/2011 17:03

My DS1 was down to 30% hearing.

His teachers never noticed.

But he was excellent at lipreading and didn't want to be marked out as different.

It didn't get any better when he went to secondary school either!! Grin

The look on the French teacher's face as he said "youngmritisnotgoingwell is very good at written French but his spoken French is abysmal"

And I said "well, that's hardly a surprise given he's got severe hearing loss" LOL

I'd filled in all the forms when he started at the school but no one had told the teachers Shock

I spent every parent evening hunting down finding new teachers and telling them !

(I should add he is now at University and doing very well and I am very very proud)

PaisleyLeaf · 13/03/2011 17:05

The doctor did say "he is either clever and somehow compensates for his hearing loss or noone is paying enough attention".

Couldn't he be clever?

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