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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Writing and 5 year-old boys.....

35 replies

jollyboysmum · 13/03/2011 13:49

DS1 is in reception at local state school that has good ofsted reports and is highly-thought of by parents. DS is very articulate, but can't write at all well. He quite enjoys reading, but in class this only happens for five minutes once a week. He wants to play outside all the time at school. At home we read and I try to engage him in writing, but he is just not interested. We have tried doing it before school (he's usually up 5.30/6) as he's tired after school. I don't want him to get switched off trying. There are 31 in his class, 20 boys, one of whom who requires all the attention of the TA. How can I engage him? The teacher has suggested I help him increase his concentration but had no suggestions on how to do this. I also have a very lively younger son I need to distract to help the older son. Nearing wits end!

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Ooopsadaisy · 13/03/2011 13:53

My DS is 14 and doing GCSEs.

His writing is shit. I mean shit.

I have no idea how they mark his work.

All through his school life I have been told that he is extremely bright and that he is doing well (and he is - his grades in GCSE work are great). I have always expressed concern about his writing but have been told that so long as it can be read and it is grammatically competent then he's ok.

I stood in Tesco last week trying to decipher "milk" that he's written on the shopping list.

Shocking.

I could advise you not to worry and just go with the flow, but I feel your concern, trust me.

thatsnotmymonster · 13/03/2011 13:55

Why does he have to write at this stage? He's only in reception. Surely it will just happen naturally when he is ready?

My ds is 6 next week and in P1 in Scotland. He can write phonetically now but this whole year they have not had a single bit of written or drawing homework. It's been purely letter sounds/words and reading. At school I think they 'write a story' and draw a picture in their writing books but it doesn't matter what they write or if it is coherent IFYSWIM.

thatsnotmymonster · 13/03/2011 13:58

LOL totally different responses there! I agree with Ooopsadaisy but I think at 5 in reception they still have a little time for it to click. Many countries don't start till they are 6/7yrs old. If he is still showing no interest in another year I may start to worry.

Ooopsadaisy · 13/03/2011 13:59

I think the point I was tryng to make was:

One option is not to worry about it at all. DS has not been held back by this. I know he is only 14 but so far his shocking writing has bothered no-one but me (and his sister who just takes the piss).

castlesintheair · 13/03/2011 13:59

I'd say this is quite normal and would suggest you just continue hearing him read and unless there is a genuine problem (which will probably be picked up anyway) things will fall into place. My DS wasn't really "interested" until the start of KS1 and now he's flying.

jimswifein1964 · 13/03/2011 13:59

I really wouldnt worry (easier said than done, i know). Its really not natural for 5yr old boys to sit and concentrate on writing. It will come, or the time will come to crack down . But for now, just focus on words as they crop up in day to day life, rather than writing/reading as a stand-alone activity. Little boys just want to run wild, in the main

castlesintheair · 13/03/2011 14:04

Oops, meant the start of KS2 !!!

TeamLemon · 13/03/2011 14:06

IME it is a rare thing to find a 5yo boy who wants to write!
Give it some time, and the writing will come.

Ooopsadaisy · 13/03/2011 14:07

Something that might be of interest to the OP:

DD's writing is absolutely immaculate and she takes great pride in the presentation of any written or paper-based piece of work.

Total opposite of DS as described in previous posts.

They share both parents and have been raised in exactly the same way with the same encouragement in all skills.

Mars and Venus. Drives me nuts.

I wonder OP - do you have other DCs?

Lotkinsgonecurly · 13/03/2011 14:11

This was ds and he's now nearly 7. He has mild hypermobility and has had difficulty with the pencil grip.

However this year, now he's in year 2 he is now able to fully hold and write what he wants. He has had additional handwriting lessons through the school which he really dislikes but now his writing is at least as neat as the average child in his class.

He is really quite bright so hopefully at somepoint his writing ability will catch up with his verbal skills. But it has taken 3 years of school to get to this stage. What I'm trying to say is don't worry.

His reception teacher suggested that many boys need a reason to write so we used to get him to write shopping lists or simple recipes using only a few words. Also birthday cards etc. I figured that some writing was better than none.

Hassled · 13/03/2011 14:12

Don't panic; he'll get there. Apparently the muscles in male hands don't develop at the same rate as in females - this is why you get little girls with amazing fine motor skills and lovely writing, while bright articulate boys are producing scrawls. At our school we have an intervention programme for children with very poor handwriting skills (YrR/Yr1) and they are all, without exception, boys.

You could help his fine motor skills by giving him fiddly things to play with - lego, Hama beads, using tweezers etc - but I really wouldn't worry. He'll catch up.

Original poster

jollyboysmum · 13/03/2011 14:13

Thanks! All he wants to do is RUN every minute he can. Not sit squashed on the floor cheek-by-jowl in a smelly hot room. His friends are more interested in writing/drawing but he is up and off after 5 minutes. Maybe I should just be grateful he likes going to school, even though it seems like he isn't learning much?!

OP posts:

Original poster

jollyboysmum · 13/03/2011 14:28

Oopsadaisy - yes, my other son is 3 and if anything, more active than DS1 at that age. I was thinking maybe I should visit other schools to see how they teach and if the children are made to sit and work rather than 'free play' outside. But would this just mean an unhappy child if forced to sit and write?

OP posts:

Ooopsadaisy · 13/03/2011 14:37

Isn't it strange that boys are just so different to girls in this respect?

I know we are at different ends of the school spectrum age-wise, but I should say that because I was worried about DS's writing at age 11, the school (reluctantly - because they didn't really see the problem) referred him to SEN for assessment. He was mortified. He hated it.

I backed off as I was afraid it would affect his entire attitude to school, which was otherwise extremely productive.

He is going to come out with very good GCSE grades (or he is certainly on track to), has a terrific sense of humour and ability to get on with all sorts of people. He is extremely good at DIY and fixing things. He is keen on all sports and does all sorts of physical hobbies.

I can't really get stressed about his writing can I?

Original poster

jollyboysmum · 13/03/2011 14:39

Ah thanks so much Oopsadaisy! Yes I'm probably well and truly over-reacting and in a few years all will be ok. It's just trusting that it will be is hard!!

OP posts:

mrz · 13/03/2011 14:53

Boys in general are motivated by "what's in for me?" whereas girls are more likely to do it to please ... so bribery does work

mrz · 13/03/2011 15:29

My best writers in my last reception class were, with one exception, boys. Now two years later the best writers are ... boys.
We allow children to use pen when their joined handwriting reaches a certain standard and so far only boys use pens in my Y2 class.

spanieleyes · 13/03/2011 15:31

I teach yr 6 and my best writers by far are boys! ( and I don't mean handwriters, which is a completely different skill!)

LadyG · 13/03/2011 15:43

A 'diary' with a blank page for drawing and line of writing? I wouldn't worry though, DS has only just started writing spontaneously (rather than being coerced) and he's halfway through Yr 1. I think boys are developmentally ready a bit later. Now he even writes his own stories! (But mostly 'no littl sisturs in my room' signs and that kind of thing...)

mrz · 13/03/2011 15:46

I mean the whole package, handwriting, spelling, structure and vocabulary.

Carrotsandcelery · 13/03/2011 15:52

My ds is currently under investigation for ADHD related problems. As a result of this we have begun giving him a high dose of Omega 3 oils. Writing had been a problem for us (he is 6 and in P2) but coincidentally, after starting the oils, his writing has improved massively. All of a sudden he now regularly produces a side and half of A4, often voluntarily, of writing!
It may be that this was about to happen anyway, or that it has come as a result of the increased focus on him due to the concerns about him or it may have been the omega 3 oils.
I leave the analysis to you but it is worth a thought.

spanieleyes · 13/03/2011 16:00

Sorry, mrz. I wasn't meaning you! I do think there is some confusion on this thread over writing and handwriting!

mrz · 13/03/2011 16:04

yes often it's difficult to know if people mean content or the physical process

Original poster

jollyboysmum · 13/03/2011 16:50

as he's only 5, it's currently the physical process. But you have all put my mind at rest..... thank you!

OP posts:

meeliesmum · 14/03/2011 14:04

mt little boy is in reception, aged 5 and cannnot yet write his own name. His teacher alternates between panic-he needs an IEP and then says no he will get there in the end.AGHH

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