Private Education

[IzzysMum08]

Hello,

I am new to this site :)

My daughter is 3 in June and due to start full time school in September 2012. We live in an area of our town where the state schools are poor and one has recently been in special measures.

We are now looking at a private education for our daughter. However, I do have my reservations. Both me and my husband were state school educated but both have good jobs.

I would love for our daughter to go to a good state school but the fight for places in the good state schools in our town is fierce and we stand virtually no chance of getting a place.

The school we have found is lovely and has good results. They have also said they take pupils from the age 3 for full time school. I think this is quite young.

Can anyone share their experiences of private education with me?

Thanks

The private school that my 2 DDs go to take them from 3 years, this does not have to be full time. There are many who do start full time at 3, but I think they would have been in Nursery anyway due to parents working. DD2 is 3 in the 'Nursery' class and her peers that are full time are fine with it.
My 2 DDs have done 2 1/2 days from 3 years, DD1 is now in Reception, she will be 5 in May and she started full time last September.

DH and I went to comprehensives and did A OK, but he has taught in independent schools all his teaching life ('bout 15 years). In my 'right on' view I was always dead set against 'private' schools for all the usual reasons - elitist, robbing state schools of middle class support, private school children don't get a proper view of the real world, even greater peer pressure within priviledged friendship groups etc etc. BUT I have lived and worked in independent schools for most of my married life now (I'm not a teacher), and have two kids who will, thanks to their dad's job, be able to attend when they reach senior school age. There is far more to school life (including amazing levels of parental involvement) in independent schools than the public perception of monied Eton and Harrow.

My view - go for it if that is truly what is right for you and don't feel guilty or feel you have to justify your decision to anyone.

Your priority is to get a good education for your child. If that can't be offered by the local state schools, you can afford to pay to go private and have found a school you like, then go for it. All schools are different, that means you can't generalise about private schools any more than you can about state schools, you just have to use your own judgment based on the evidence in front of you and talking to parents of children who go to the school in question. I was entirely state educated, my dh was privately educated. Half of my siblings were privately educated to the age of 11 or 14, the other half were entirely state educated... Academically, I did the "best," I also came from the sort of family background which meant that I had plenty of stimulation, encouragement and support from home. One of my brothers was utterly miserable at his private school, which strongly coloured my parents' views of private education - wrong school, wrong headmaster, wrong boy (and quite a few "wrong" parents...). However, my sister loved the private school she went to and a little bit of me is jealous of some of the things her school offered which were not on offer for me in school time. I did have more free time outside of school to pursue those activities which most interested me, though, it just took a bit more initiative on my part. I currently send my children to the local state primary, but I would swallow my pride and go private if I had to (ie if the local state schools were dire).

Contrary to popular belief many parents who pay for their children's education were state educated themselves. First time users.

DH and I were certainly comp educated, as were many of the parents at DC's independent schools, so op, you won't be out on a limb.

I have to say, I assumed my own DC would go to state school..until I saw my local indie.

And then that was that. I knew that I wanted my children to have that experience and simply couldn't justify not giving it to them iyswim.

Hi -this isn't quite what you asked but anyway:
I think 3 is very young for full time school - I would have thought pre-school/nersery the free 15 hours a week was sufficent - of course if she in nursery now it wouldn;t be a massive change I guess
Personally I wouldn't rule out the state schools. I guessing you are going on what people have said and maybe ofsted/sats. Things can change in the time before your daughter starts - SATS and to some extent ofsted are very influenced by the intake of the children not how good the school actually is. Some schools can be considered good because they have "nice" intake but actually are completly coasting. - happened to a couple of my friends - Valued added scorces can give you a bit of an idea
I would visit the schools concerned - next year before you make the applicaiton and talk to the head about the issues
My friend did this - she lived near a "bad" estate -and school had had poor ofsted- she visited and was impressed -new head etc - her DD ended up going - with all her friends nearby - and is thriving
Another thought would be to move house so you can get in to what are percieved are the good schools - I would have thought that was cheaper

Thanks for all your messages I really appreciate it. Our daughter does already go to full time nursery so she is used being in that kind of setting. I think we are going to look around a few more schools before making a final decision.

Also, I wanted to get a feel of other parents experiences of private school and whether after they sending their children to private school they feel it is/was worth it.

hi DD is in reception at a private school; she was there for nursery and then went into kindergarten in the main school at 3. Kindergarten was pretty much a more structured nursery setting, with focus on play, social skills, themes, etc. She loved it to bits so we stayed on for reception and onwards. I have many friends with children in both private and public schools and it really is school dependant on whether private ed is worth it. For us, the benefit of small, single year classes has been brilliant. Many of our local schools have large combined year classes which is not what we wanted. So yes we are paying for a wonderful staff-pupil ratio, in a school which shares our values, and where the whole school feels like a community, and with great back up resources.

The things is once you start paying for something you normally think that is it worth it and same goes for whatever decesion you make for your kids - in general you decide it was the best one - so its particularly hard to use other people expereince - and it is so dependant on the child and the school - some children will thrive at most schools - some much better at one type or another -

There are good and bad schools in the state sector and the independent sector. I have a foot in both camps - ds in reception at the local state infant school and dd in year 4 at a selective girls independent school. The key thing is the staff.

DS's school is in a tough area (a mum was sent to prison today so two of the children have been taken into care this evening as dad is already in prison - seriously it's a tough area!). However the passion I see in the staff there is incredible and inspiring. They have a creative approach to teaching and the results are on their way up. It's never going to be an outstanding school in Ofsted terms but I'm really happy. If I wasn't ds would be in an indie school.

My dd's school is wonderful and is exactly the right place for her. They have great staff and amazing facilities.

On the other hand we visited a local co-ed independent and walked out half way through the tour. They charge £9k a year and I wouldn't send my dcs there if they paid me £9k a year.

I wouldn't rule out any school just on results. I'd second whoever posted about good schools coasting. We have one like that locally. They get fab results - because they have a lovely catchment area and ease out any child with additional needs who might tarnish their reputation.

Go and see all the schools and choose the one you feel best suits your dd. You can change schools and sectors later on in most areas. You're really fortunate to have the widest choice possible.

I am very happy with my 2DDs in private education.

There is a girl in DD1s year who attended the private school in the nursery class and then left for Reception to go to a state school, and a good one too. By January she was back at the private school.

TBH, if you can afford private, then you would be mad not to go for it. We all pretend that private schools are elitist and unfair, but given a million pound lottery win, I think you'd find 90% of parents would pull their children out of state schools.

The Private schools around us seem to achieve almost full University admissions. The State schools barely achieve 50% 5 gcse's. If you then look at the GCSE exams today, it's a 'no brainer'.... you could train a goldfish to get them!

As a final controversial statement, those who are against private education would face a complete nightmare if they were to be closed and the state had to accommodate 7% more pupils.... anyone for class sizes of 35-40 as standard???? I think not.....

You earn your money, pay your taxes.... make your choice.... it's that or a car/holiday.....

My DDs were at private school from 3, although it was 1/2 days to start with. I don't regret it at all and definitely think it was worth it. (But then I would say that, with so much invested.) One is super bright, one has mild specific learning diffs, both doing really really well. The only downside is the slightly spolit nature of some of the other kids, giving my 2 unrealistic expectations of Ugg boots etc.

Small note re diamond's post: we can afford it, and I don't think we are mad (yet), but both dds at State Primary in preference to any of the private preps we saw.

It was just the one we felt happiest in, and thought the dds would be happiest in. By far. And so far we were right.

I would say go and see ALL the local schools - private and state - and see which one you feel the best about.

And a 'ps': I worried dd1 would be 'lost' in a big class, but in fact she's grown more resilient, and is more 'found' than 'lost'. I never worry about her being lost anymore (but I really did till she was about 5).

We too live in an area where the local schools we stood any chance of getting into (VA boundaries were quite naughty) are truly awful-one is in Special Measures, the other doesn't exist yet, and is a merger of a special measures school and another. I suspect people like us will become an increasingly common feature of the housing market-costs of childcare (in lost salary or fees) mean being forced to live in 'poorer' areas until the kids are at school, by which time admissions have already been decided.

I would say, however, that shopping around the whole state sector is useful. We found four schools scattered across town that were fine-three had taken from where we lived before, one was always undersubscribed, but perfectly OK. Heads will tell you about the likelihood of success, often even before you visit.

So, might be worth it, but equally if the fear is simply avoiding the terrible then there may be state options.

I would second the advice to look round your local schools, regardless of their results or catchment.

Our children started in a small private school - we moved to our current house to be near the school, so we weren't thinking about catchment areas at that point. The area we live in is a very deprived area, hence we got a new and very roomy house for a great price!

This January, we had to move the children into the state system for various reasons. Of course, all the nice middle class schools outside of our immediate area were full, so we had a look round our local school. Its SATs results are not great, although to be fair its Ofsted was very good, but we loved it - the atmosphere was calm,orderly and happy, the head had a great attitude and was really honest and open with us.

They have been there for not quite a term but we're really happy with it. The catchment is very 'working class' (for want of a better word) and there are some challenging children, but my daughter in particular has come on academically in leaps and bounds and both are happy socially. I am really impressed by the teachers and have no regrets about our decision.

Don't write anywhere off until you've visited!

DH and I were both privately educated and we always thought we would send our girls to private prep school from the age of 7. The local state infants school, where we had just intended to send them for reception, was so good and the girls were doing so well that we kept them their where they flourished passed and passed their 11plus. We just used a private school for 6th form. I suppose we became state school uses by accident but it has been a positive experience for our daughters.