Advice needed re very negative teacher!

[ClaraRenee]

I had parents evening last night and am dumb founded by teachers attitude.

My DD3 is in reception, I posted a thread on here a while ago about her difficulty in blending words. Since then, I am waitng for my DD to have a hearing test as the doctor thinks she has glue ear caused by numerous repeated ear infections.

At parents evening, we were told that she has made little progress since September, she cannot read or write and is now having intensive phonic sessions with her teacher two mornings a week during assesmbly time. Her teacher couldn't say anything positive about her, the only thing positive was that she was the first child to get dressed for PE. We were told she is showing signs for dyslexia, but they can't and won't do anything until she is in year 2. Looking around the classroom and in corridors, I couldn't find any examples of her work on the wall, no pieces of work in the collective class books. It's like she doesn't exist. I have 2 other DDs at the school, the teacher told me that I have 2 academic children and 1 practical. I was so angry that she is being compared to her sisters. I left feeling very deflated and angry at teachers attitude.

I think teacher attitude is rubbing off on her as DD keeps asking to draw her teacher a picture so her teacher will like her. Shes been having tummy aches and not wanting to go to school. She did tell me that another girl in the other EYFS class wouldn't play with her because she wasn't in the clever group! I told her teacher this and she didn't believe DD until I had enough of her opinion and approached the other EYFS teacher. It was then dealt with.

I feel so sorry for DD, she's very popular, has many friends, tries her best,but the things shes's good at like model making, construction are not even mentioned. I am on the doctors case to chase her hearing test and wish I could fast forward her to year 1 to be with another teacher. I don't know how to deal with the teacher, I 've spoken to her loads but don't seem to be making headway with her. I've met with her with the Head present but she's always negative about DD. Any advice would be great! Thanks.

She can be monitored though and supported to improve/change her teaching methods if deemed necessary. I am aware of this happening with teachers. However, that is the long view- for op now time is of the essence. Head and governors if no joy with dealing with the teacher one to one. Good luck with your meeting with the Head ClaraRenee.

Thank you. Will let you know what happens next week.

MorningClara Reenee, just to let you know that in an earlier post I was talking twaddle! My ds just said to me [unprompted] I wish I was in the clever group because they have more time with the teacher. My blah group don't get much teacher time and just work on our own. [whether that is true or not I don't know]. He then proceeded to list the colour groups in order of 'cleverness'. We have had a chat about this. Not as unaware as I thought and I now feel uncomfortable!

It's such a shame that young children are quite clued up about this. I feel that this has unnecessary effect on some childrens self confidence. I've explained to a DD that as long as she tries her best thats all that matters. I told her she's good at other things like art, construction and being very caring. She is very proud of her collage rabbit she made at school last week. It's hanging pride of place in our living room.

Hi Clara...just wanted to say that they are not legally required to be in school until the term AFTER they are 5, so if she's a summer baby, she is not legally required to be there until September. Although as others have said, that may affect her place. I don't know about that.

The teacher sounds horrible. I would investigate moving classes as you've suggested. I feel for you and your dd. My dd's reception teacher is also pretty nasty to the kids and it worries the hell out of me what sort of affect that is going to have on her impression of school life for the future so I'm counting down the days until she gets to Year 1 and a new teacher!

how can there be these sort of non nurturing teachers in reception? when they should be the just the opposite! it is truly shocking that any closed judgements on ability are being made like this at this age in reception e.g. you have 2 academic ones and one practical!! this is the unhealthy side of ability grouping at such young ages - both her peers and her teacher seem to have been given the opportunity to label the child, before she has even reached five!

my son who needed extra help was compared by his teacher in reception and was very negative she told me he was a bad boy and at another parents evening said he wouldnt be able to do gcse but it doesnt matter im sure he will be good at something as it turned out yes his brother n sister are brill at school both attaining A* im most subjects and DS is actually ASD so much for being a bad boy what appauling teaching

btw she said he was a bad boy becasue he shouts out answers, doesnt GET taking turns, drifts off in his own world and bangs his head on the table....all ASD traits

A sort of result! Had a meeting with Head early this morning. DD is staying for registration in her class, but as she's with the other teacher for phonics, writing and numeracy and DD responds very well to her, she is being moved into her group for everything else, like ICT etc. They are re-jigging the groups after easter as thay are re-jigging the classes for year 1 due to an imbalance in the classes at present! So, it has been decided to keep DD in the other teachers groups and DD has the option to which classroom she wants to go in free play (this is always outside in the EYFS play area). I asked about taking her out until September, they have a waiting list and she would lose her place in year 1. This now isn't an option as I'm returning to work in September. Regarding the teacher, I don't know what the Head is going to do but she is going to monitor her. She told me previous complaints are confidential, so reading into it, I get the impression that there has been some complaints from other parents.

The Head and myself spoke to DD about the changes in the groups and she had a massive beaming smile. I've also asked for the other teacher to take over the writing in DD EYFS profile, as the negativity from her cuurent teacher was evident in this. Head said she'd get back to me on that. Surely this would make more sense if DD is moving groups!

I feel more comfortable about this, DD went into class happy and skipping knowing she is going to be in all the other teachers groups.

I've told the Head that if DD comes home unhappy and feeling inadequate again, I'm taking the complaint to the LEA. I've told the Head my preference to which teacher I would like her to have in year 1 because her confidence has taken a dive. Hopefully, her confidence will get back to normal now.

It's a shame that one teacher has had such a negative impact on DD. It shouldn't have to be this way. I still worry that at some other stage in her education she will be compared to her sisters again. My brother was compared to me and my sister all the way through school. He's dyslexic and now a ward manager in a hospital. One teacher told my mum that it took him a year to realise he was our brother because has was so unintelligent and that it wasn't worth him doing GCSE biology as he will only get an E at best!

It makes me angry that the Government are considering teachers to have master degrees. Surely at KS1 age, being a caring and nurturing person is more important than a masters degree. I don't understand this.

Thanks to everyone for your comments, very much appreciated. Onwards and upwards, hopefully for DD.

see here

Download this link and you'll be able to look at the chart of EYFS areas of learning in purple across the top.

This is what the teachers should be marking against and at the parents evening, should have discussed your dd's prgression in each area.

They should not have discussed purely the things she cannot do all of the things she can do and then discuss the things she needs more work on (phonics for example).

She is a young one - you know she doesn't have to be in school full time until she is 5?

The school seem to be very negative about your dd's development and if it were my dd, I would either get them to explain more fully what she can and cannot do or look for a better school who seem to care.

Although the school place thing is important, you can keep her place by taking her only mornings if you want. She can be part time.

Complain directly to your head. Tell him/her your DD has tummy aches due to worrying about pleasing teacher and all you have ever hear are negative things directly from teacher. Tell him/her that you expect the teacher to be more constructive and that lots of other parents find the teacher negative.

I had to talk to my head about the year 2 teacher but actually the head was aware that there was a problem anyway and was really supportive and sorted everything out.

ClaraRenee, things do sound improved and hopefully the teacher will be monitored more now. However, I do wonder why dd has to have registration in one class and all her teaching in another. Maybe it is administrative..or 'political'! Glad you are both feeling happier with school now.

Today and yesterday DD has come out of school a different child. She is far happier and said she had a good time. She has spent nearly all her time with the other teacher. Some of the other children in her class, the same ability, have been with her too. I get the impression they are concentrating teaching children in groups of ability. I'm relieved she is with this teacher. Parent's evening is split over a couple of nights, talking to a few other parents, they are not happy with the teacher concerned. It tends to be parents of children whose ability is average and below. I think more complaints have been made as some parents said the teacher was so negative about their childs development. I can't comprehend that a teacher has this attitude towards children. It makes me so angry as this attitude can seriously damage a childs confidence. I think this teacher should consider a career change!
Hoping now DD can get her confidence back, going by today and yesterday, I think we're getting there.