Phonics -grrrrr

[PrinceRogersNelson]

Sorry I really need to rant or else I am going to lose it with the wrong person!

My DS has just started reception last term and we are getting a box home each week with some simple words in; a, as, at, in etc.

I am trying to do it with him and help him and it is a f*king nightmare and it is my fault. I cannot bear it and I have ZERO patience.

He just cannot remember it and cannot engage with it. I am sitting with him and we work out that it is 'i' and 'n' and then he just cannot work out what word it can be. So I help and then literally 2 seconds later he has forgotten it and I want to scream at him.

I HATE that I am like this.
I tell myself he is young, that he will get it when he is ready etc, etc, but when I am trying to help him I turn in to this horrendous pushy Mother who is taking all fun out of anything.

Does anyone else find it this stressful?
Are there any fun ways of doing this?

I am turning in to my Mother and I hate it!

mrz

This is why most children who have APD learn to speak by only being able to reproduce the whole sound of a word
This very true there are two main groups of APDs those who have a the genetic form of APD, who all would all learn to speak by learning to reproduce the whole sound of a word.
And those who have acquired APD as a the result of Otitis Media with Effusion, may have learnt to speak as others who do not have APD. But who are all part of the wider group who for what ever reason have have problems processing the gaps between sounds.
So not the loop whole or error you thought it was.

All this is not really helping the OP is it?

I think your child sounds like he just needs to learn the sounds first, and like mrz suggested about the actions, you need to find out which phonics scheme the teacher is using, such as Jolly Phonics and ask how you can use it at home to help him in a more fun way.

Think it has all been said above (get the sounds absolutely rock solid first, don't put "uh" after the sounds) etc but wanted to reinforce the don't panic or blame yourself. learning to blend is really odd - I have found that one plugs away to no avail and then suddenly it all happens (but really really won't if they don't know their sounds). It is terribly dull at times - you are not alone!

dolfrog you seem to be confusing your arguments

mrz

I have never said that children need to have phonics as part of their learning program.
In fact i have always supported using all the teaching methods to develop all of the various skills required to perform the the task of reading.
And there a large section of the population may be able to survive on a phonics only teaching program and developing the other skills they need to perform the reading task by their own efforts.
My only concern is that those who have APD are not having their learning needs met by schools who are only willing to provide phonic teaching.

FastForWord or FFW was marketed during the 1990s a as the cure for APD. And causes real problems in the USA when audiology students view diagnosing APD a route to providing FFW as a lucrative career. FFW can provide some help to some who have APD, and seems to be more helpful with those who have acquired APD. However I am aware of families some in the UK who have spent over £2000 for FFW and for their children to derive little or no benefit.
FFW is one of the first programs to come out of research into the plasticity of the brain, which is still on the cutting edge of research. Unfortunately its reputation was damaged when the program providers failed to provide all the less positive research data when publishing their research, and the long legal disputes required to demonstrate that failure.
The concept of plasticity of the brain or the brain being able to repair areas of damage or malfunction worked best when the problem was cause by some illness etc, but these programs may not work at all if they cause of the problem is part of your genetic make up.
There is a UK based program Phonomena developed by Oxford University research and marketed by Mindweavers. One of the researchers involved with the programs developemet is now Director of the Medical Research Councils Institute of Hearing Research which has been research APD since 2004.
The problems with all remedial programs is that they are not required to stipulate who will benefit from using their program, who will not beneit from using their program, and who may be damages by using their program. There needs to be some for of Educational Research Council which can independently investigate the claims of the program providers, to se if the program applies to all and acutally does all that it calims to do, As happens with the pharmacutical industry and the provision and recommendation of drugs and procedures.

Thank you I will take a look at Phonomena

Wow cheap I was expecting £Ks

BunnyWunny
The real issue here is whether the school should only be using a phonics based program to teach reading.
The reason being that at least 10% of children are not able to use phonics due to have a cognitive information processing disorder such as Auditory Processing Disoder.
and that the school should be providing an alternative teaching program to met the childs learning needs. So it may be that the child may require a visual teaching program such as a whole word program or a Kinaeasthetic learning program such as those promoted by the BDA some years ago.
So this is about phonics not be the best teaching program for all, and for some it could cause long term damage.

Hi there - phonics is a fustrating topic if u get too uptight about it........learn the individual sounds first through songs and constant repetition.....play I spy. eg I spy something staring with mmmmmmmmm etc then get your child to listen for the first sound in simple words cat, mouse, horse etc...then progress to the end sound and eventually the middle sounds......this takes time but will help ur child understand what u mean about sounds.........i use the reading books see and sound and get good advice from the authors who will take home calls as and when u need advice......worth a try......

Oh dear. We seem to have exchanged masha for dolfrog.

We don't even know if the poor child has any auditory problems.

I like dolfrog he doesn't say U

Blimey - this seems to have moved on.
Sorry haven't really read all the post about APD. I really don't think there is anything 'wrong' with my DS. He is August born and I honestly just don't think it has clicked yet.

I have gone back to basics and have tried to make it interesting for him.

He knows 'o' because of the octonauts and therefore I am using them for inspiration! He seems to be getting 't' as that is for tweak bunny.

I am concentrating on sounds and trying help him remember what sounds the letters make and it seems to be helping both of us stay calm.

Honestly I just needed some help knowing how to help him without stress - I don't think there is anything to worry about.

cecilyp I think you are right that the words are meaningless. Of course he knows what they mean - but they are pretty hard to get excited about aren't they? And sitting with him going through a, as, at, in etc is pretty dull for him and me. Hence the frustration for us both. Hence the post.

Anway - thanks everyone for the responses.

www.kenttrustweb.org.uk/kentict/content/games/starwriter.html try this as it is a bit more interesting than cards

www.kenttrustweb.org.uk/kentict/content/games/phaseTwoAs1_v2.html

Dolfrog, your point is pointless though if the child doesn't have any auditory problems- and considering he only began reception class last, term then it is much more likely that he hasn't yet learnt any letter sounds, and needs to be taught phonics in a systematic and fun way, rather than he has a problem.

And sitting with him going through a, as, at, in etc is pretty dull for him and me.

Pretend, pretend, pretend that this practising of sounds and blending is the most exciting thing in the world! It may be dull for you but he is embarking on learning one of the most important skills in hhis life. Keep it short, sharp and full of enthusiasm. If he can sense that you find it boring you'll not convince him that it is anything else... I've trained with Ruth Miskin - she says "Fake it if you have to!"

I wonder how experienced YR teachers feel when they ancounter yet another 30 little innocents to teach the same thing that they taught last year, and the year before, and the year before etc. etc...

PrinceRogersNelson and Dolfrog come on over to this thread

Your child is probably too young to be starting on phonics and also has a crap teacher. Read to him and chat with him and sing, point out names of shops you visit. There are lots of pre-reading activities that are fun and easy to accomplish and will develop phonological awareness -- singing and reading and reciting poems are especially good as an introduction to phonics. Boys are sometimes ready to learn reading at 5 or later as opposed to 4.

There is no evidence that teaching phonics to 4 year olds is a good thing. In many cases it involves shoving square pegs into round holes.

Dolfrog's points wrt the loudest lobby are very apropos, though I think the real issue here is that the school is trying to teach 4 year olds phonics. Mrz and Maizie do in fact have a real problem understanding the cognitive aspects of how learning takes place (see that other thread).

Many children who do not have APD learn to read without benefit of phonics at age 4 -- there really is more than one way of skinning this particular cat.

Before anyone jumps down my throat, I have no axe to grind wrt phonics per se -- it's the age at which it is attempted in the UK that bothers me; the assertions that phonics will work for all are also worrying to see. It can be very successful for a lot of children, but there is no need to do it at 4 and no evidence that it gives anyone any advantage if started at that age (apart from the fact that reading is a pleasurable activity for those who 'click'). Doing it at 4 runs the risk of introducing tension into the parent child relationship, and exposing a lot of children to the risk of failure and frustration.

PRN - as your son likes using a computer, how about him watching videos on the computer which teach the sounds of the letters.

www.MrThorneDoesPhonics.com

OP....I have said this before on other threads, but I do think that it can help when learning some of the early words. While still re-iterating to sound them out put the word in context, make up a very simple sentence using the word when you go through them. I think this particularly helps when they cannot be easily sounded out.

Lots of great ideas here thank you. I will take a look at some of the Internet games as I think that would engage him.

Mrz - he is doing the letters and sounds programme according to the letter we have home. Does that mean anything to you?

Ecology - I think I need to make it all relevant as he just doesn't seem to get why he's doing it IYSWIM?

Sorry that was for evolucy - phone is auto correcting.

Teaching Y1s in Oz,( beginning of compulsory schooling) where we have been back at school for 5 weeks, and some of them also find it hard to do those very same words mentioned by OP when they are just beginning to learn how to do their sounding-out.
It's nothing to do with their age, and everything to do with the novelty and strangeness of the task.

I agree with Trailmix. Ignore the box and just enjoy reading a book to/with him until he shows interest. If your hating it, he'll learn to hate it to and that's no good for either of you. Good luck!

UPDATE - Just in case anyone is interested

I spoke with his teacher today and it would seem he was moved on in phonics too soon. So he was moved to the next phase hence the box of words coming home. They realised he wasn't ready, put him 'back', but didn't tell me and continued letting him bring the box home.

So - I am to ignore the box and just read with him etc.
Much like everyone here has told me already .

Why they continued with the box of words when he wasn't ready I don't know - but lesson learnt for me is that I need to speak to his teachers when I have a concern. I was so worried about being seen as a pushy parent I didn't say anything and actually they were very happy to talk to me and quite reassuring.

I hate those bloody phases!!