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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Am I being a horrible pushy parent?

35 replies

runawayrunaway · 19/02/2011 21:08

Ds is in year 3 at a lovely local state primary. He is very happy, has lots of friends - it's a small, inclusive, very welcoming school. I knew when he started there that it was the least academic of the three local primaries, but I went for it because of its lovely atmosphere and have not been disappointed on that score. Ds has done well so far (great KS1 results, free reader since Yr 1, consistently good reports from teachers etc). So far, so good.

However, since he's gone into yr 3 I've become increasingly concerned about the level of work he's being set, and have been particularly disappointed with the homework he's being asked to do. A couple of weeks ago the h/w was to draw the Fairtrade logo and write a sentence about what Fairtrade is; before that it was to draw a fairground ride. This week it was to write a list of the healthy foods you've eaten over the week (oh, and draw them).

It's not that I'm against these activities in principle (I have no problem with him learning about Fairtrade or whatever, obviously) - but where's the maths? The grammar? The geography? The science? Am I being ridiculously old-fashioned in thinking that now and again he should be coming home with some multiplication, or some spellings, not just 'draw a picture of your dinner'?

In Yr 1 , for example, his teacher saw that he was quick with reading and gave him a book review notebook to fill in - read a book, write a review - he loved doing it. I try to do extra stuff with him at home - mathletics, reading, freerice.com etc - and I write it in his homework book but it rarely gets any comment from the teacher.

Am I being horribly pushy in thinking he should be stretched a bit more than this? And if not, what can I do about it? Do you think this is reasonable homework for Yr 3?

It's parent's evening next week - I want to say something but am not sure how to couch it. And given that last parent's evening I was in there for 2 minutes and literally all she kept saying was 'Yes, he's fine', I'm not holding out much hope of a constructive response. I know that Yr 3 can be a crucial year when kids that started off keen can slack a bit if their enthusiasms aren't stimulated, and I don't want this happening to ds.

Sorry for the ramble. I am quite willing to hear that IABU, btw

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Pterosaur · 19/02/2011 21:14

I wouldn't be too quick to judge just on the homework, but it would be reasonable to reassure yourself at parents' evening that he is doing rather more in class.

Do you get an opportunity to see his books at the parents' evening? Can you go armed with some specific questions about what he has been working on?

Homework is a pretty insignificant part of a child's education at this age; some schools do give much more, but often more to keep parents happy than because of its educational importance.

Original poster

runawayrunaway · 19/02/2011 21:29

Fair point pterosaur. It's just that I almost feel we're going backwards - less seems to be expected of him now than two years ago. I did try with the specific questions at the last PE - and got such vague responses, it was infuriating!

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Pterosaur · 19/02/2011 21:41

I used to help in class when my older child was in year 3, and there was certainly plenty of academic ground covered (I have fond memories of floundering with the maths and being told by the teacher, unasked, what an adverb was - I'm a bloody copy-editor - and being asked, 'Is there just one god who people worship in different ways, or lots of different gods?') - I would have thought that the national curriculum would dictate that to a great extent. Do you not get a feel for what's going on just from the classroom displays? How long are you supposed to get at parents' evening? We have ten-minute slots, which are fine if everything's going well. If you really only have a couple of minutes, that's pointless.

If you don't feel reassured after parents' evening, I would have thought a word with the head wouldn't go amiss.

Pterosaur · 19/02/2011 21:42

I may be a bloody copy-editor, but that piece of prose definitely needs some work.

cornslik · 19/02/2011 21:43

Homework makes no difference at all academically in primary school apart from keeping the occupied for a bit.

cornslik · 19/02/2011 21:43

them occupied

glasgowkiss · 19/02/2011 21:56

my dd goes to an outstanding (in ofsted terms-has always been and all of us parents agree) primary sch..she is in Yr 1 and is way ahead of expected levels (and she is and AUG baby!) in all areas. This will make you feel better..other than reading (ever night)she has not had 1 piece of homework, ever. It is their policy - they work so hard in school and they see homework as unecessary ( I have to agree - I teach, secondary - other than A level it rarely enhances understanding/ability). Chill out about it at this stage I say!

stoatsrevenge · 19/02/2011 22:10

'.... but where's the maths? The grammar? The geography? The science? '

Don't they do that at school?
The fairtrade homework was probably linked to geography and PSHE.
The healthy food was probably linked to science / PSHE.
The fairground ride was, I imagine, a preliminary activity for DT. Presumably they are going to make fairground rides and maybe do some maths about running a fairground?

Why do you want to do everything at home?

Original poster

runawayrunaway · 19/02/2011 22:10

The thing is, I agree in some ways that homework s no big deal in primary. I was actually quite against the idea of it at all, originally. So I suppose I feel that, if it's going to be set, it might as well be good, iyswim? If it's going to impinge on ds's time at home (when he could be banging a football against the skirting boards ), it should be something worth doing from an educational pov. Does that make sense?

Wrt the last PE - they are supposed to be 10-minute slots, but she apparently had nothing to say . For example, I asked what books they'd been reading recently as a class and she said 'Oh, I just read them anything'. Every question I asked was met with 'He's doing fine'. Helpful, not.

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Original poster

runawayrunaway · 19/02/2011 22:14

I don't want to do everything at home, stoat. I am just a bit bemused about the educational value of drawing weetabix (and then being told off because apparently it wasn't colourful enough...)

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Pterosaur · 19/02/2011 22:24

My own first rule of homework is, 'If it's going to be set, it might as well be marked'.

The teacher's vagueness is a concern though. I'd not be happy with a teacher who was unable or unwilling to discuss at a parents' evening what is being covered in class. It's kind of the point.

Sorry to repeat myself, but have you had a chance to look at his exercise books?

medoitmama · 19/02/2011 22:31

Sorry, but his teacher sounds a bit pants to me. What's the yr 4 teacher like? Could write this year off. . . but it is a whole year. I'd think of a few good questions, quite specific ones and watch her squirm. Sorry, can't actually think of any particularly good questions just now, but if I come up with anything I'll get back to you. Good luck.

Original poster

runawayrunaway · 19/02/2011 22:39

Haven't had a chance to look at his books since the last PE and that was right at the start of the school year so tricky to get a feel for how they were progressing, really.

She is vague. I was hoping she'd be rather good, because she has a reputation for being very experienced and rather formidable but I was quite taken aback by how 'meh' she seemed about it all. Not that I was (necessarily!) expecting glowing praise or whatever but some feedback would have been nice.

I had thought of writing this whole year off, medoitmama but - as you say - it's a whole year...

OP posts:

cornslik · 19/02/2011 23:06

just because a teacher is 'vague' at parent's evening doesn't mean they are ineffective as a teacher
sweet talking parents has nothing at all to do with actual teaching

Original poster

runawayrunaway · 19/02/2011 23:25

And asking a teacher for constructive feedback on a child's progress has nothing at all to do with 'sweet talking', cornslik.

Or perhaps you think parents should just butt out and not show any interest at all?

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cornslik · 19/02/2011 23:28

that's not what I said

cornslik · 19/02/2011 23:29

and yes you do seem to be a pushy parent

cornslik · 19/02/2011 23:30

although that doesn't necessarily make you horrible

Original poster

runawayrunaway · 19/02/2011 23:32

Well thanks, I guess I can live with that

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cornslik · 19/02/2011 23:35

malovitt · 19/02/2011 23:42

Give two spellings and two different times tables every night of your own choosing. At the end of the week test him on the lot with a small prize as incentive.
That's what I did when I felt that the primary school homework being set was inadequate.
My ds knew and could answer instantly all his times tables by year 4 and won the whole school tables competition with no effort. His spelling is excellent now too.
Much more useful than weetabix drawing.

cornslik · 19/02/2011 23:43

spelling tests make NO DIFFERENCE to spelling abilty

IndigoBell · 20/02/2011 07:41

The homework given may well reflect the school homework policy (which you can ask to see). So there may well be some stupid line in it about homework should be 'creative'. This is what my last school thought.

The question is, is he making progress, and is his work in class at the right level for him. You can't tell that from his homework.

If a place comes up on the board of governors go for it. The governors have to rubber stamp agree the homework policy.

coccyx · 20/02/2011 07:49

Don't think you are being pushy just concerned.
I like spelling tests. At my DCs school they are expected to learn how to spell it, meaning and put it in a sentence

BalloonSlayer · 20/02/2011 07:52

OMG!

When I was at primary school we had NO homework WHATSOEVER.

However did I get all those O Levels, A Levels and my degree without being pushed in Year 3?

Seriously, you need to get a grip. And I hardly ever say that on Mumsnet.

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