My children (& others) told off for hugging/kissing eachother in Primary School - AIBU ???

[Hotpants]

I have 3 children at primary school (& its attached kindergarten), ages 3, 5 & 6.
I am v affectionate with my children, I believe children of this age need to feel loved, we kiss goodbye etc. I also encourage them to kiss and hug eachother because I want them to be emotionally robust people and I want to foster the sibling relationships! When they were toddlers if they had a spat with a friend I also used to encourage them to give the other child a hug or a kiss when saying sorry, and sometimes they hug some of their friends (their closest buddies) when saying goodbye.
Now the school has told my children that they must not kiss anyone else except for Mummy and Daddy. A number of other parents have also been told that their children must not hug or kiss other children. One mother's very sweet little boy hugged another child to say sorry, just as his mother had taught him - and he was told that it was 'not appropriate'. Another three year old boy was told off for kissing another three year old - they are only three years old ffs!
I'm afraid I REALLY object to school telling my children that they can't kiss or hug their brother or sister in the playground! - AIBU?
I realise that there are some situations that could develop, particularly with older children, but I feel that this approach is just bowing to Compensation Culture at the expense of our children's emotional wellbeing. I think small children SHOULD be allowed to touch/hug eachother. Obviously if it is rough or unwanted then that is a different matter - and then we need to teach them that that is not acceptabe, but that is a valuable lesson in itself . For me, 'banning affection' is not the answer!
What does everyone else think?
And should I do or say something to the school?

I think Adela is saying that the system should work on opt in rather than opt out.
So keep your cuddly mitts and your smackeroos to yourself unless I actually ask for one.

Yes, I would want them to understand that their bodies were their own unless they asked for someone else to hug or kiss them, how to do so so that that person could say 'no' easily, and then how to handle that rejection (which is very different from simply teaching that person to say 'no').

But perhaps it's just because I've got boys and the problems with men not getting this distinction later are so prevalent.

I'm also not entirely happy that the onus should be put on the potentially unwilling to say 'no', rather than on the willing to solicit a clear 'yes' (which makes saying no much easier).

Sounds utterly ridiculous to 'ban hugging'. But by the same token, some children don't like to be kissed and hugged by others (I don't like it either!), and I also think that some people go overboard on getting their children to kiss others goodbye, hug them better and so on. I have one child who is very huggy and another who freezes up if touched by anyone apart from us. But that's a lesson that huggy children need to learn - when to be a bit more sparing with their affection. Banning it outright isn't the answer.

hugging and kissing children who do not want to be hugged is a form of bullying

it has to be stopped in a school environment because many children are not actually comfortable with this personal space invasion

hugging is not part of saying sorry

in Bonsoir's example it sounds like the girls are having a rare old time and the boy is being bullied

I do find it odd that some parents prompt their pre schoolers to hug/kiss other small children usually to "apologise" for some pushing and shoving. I often see my 2.5 year old little girl cringeing away from these encounters and find it uncomfortable myself. So sadly think YABU.

I don't find the OP unreasonable. She is talking about two rather specific instances-siblings who hug each other at home being told off for doing so in school, and a hug to say sorry. I think most kids would understand the first as distinct, and that parents too would want it dealt with if it seemed coercive or if it was potentially detrimental to one child (say a younger sibling seeking to integrate themselves with an older friendship group). Talking to them first would seem right. Sorry is a little more complicated because some very young kids use the hug as an extended bully-hit then force a hug. But again, saying it's OK if sorry is said first and a hug offered does not seem too bad.

But there is a world of difference between all that and equating 'banning affection' with banning games in which lots of kids are kissed or hugged, where explaining the intricacies of consent and then policing them is well-nigh impossible, and where the horrible idea of consent for all the wrong reasons-to be included or popular-emerges. I have every sympathy with a school who bans that.

my two children aged 8 7 9 were told off the other week for holding hands in the playground. It is bloody rediculous, at least they were being nice to each other instead of arguing or fighting...bloody .p.c. people have no right to pt their contaminated adult filthy minds against innocent children socialising..I told my kids to ignore the rule and if they want to hold hands then tell the teacher to come and speak to me and I will tell them just what I think of their stupid rule!

I have two seven year old girls and one's been chased round and round the playground by a boy who insisted on kissing her. It really REALLY cheesed her off and I had to speak to her teacher after she had asked him twice to tell the offending boy to stop and he didn't. She plain didn't like it.

Inappropriate behaviour?

Dunno, but it's plainly her choice. I'm glad she felt able to exercise it.

In kindergarten my youngest would be in fear going into the classroom, as a girl wanted to kiss and hug hello. I said things like 'don't do that please' on my child's behalf, and the parent would say 'she's only being friendly' 'yes but my child is petrified'. At the end of the day, my child would leg it across the playground to get to the car as this child wanted to hug and kiss goodbye.

She left after a term, thank god, it was a real issue for us.

Now there are huggy children in the year group but now older, my child can hold their own, and just doesn't mix with these children, and chooses the less 'touchy feely' children to play with.

It can be awful if you are on the receiving end of unwanted affection whether you are 2, 12, 22, 32 etc.