How would you handle this?

[Smum99]

DS4 started school in Sept and at first made good progress but then he seemed to go backwards towards the end of the year. At around the same time he also started to make comments about how his brain didn't work very well and referred to terms that we just don't use at home.We spoke to the teacher and she said she wasn't concerned, normal to go backwards at times, she hadn't noticed anything, he was doing OK, just needed confidence and praise which she said she did. Standard stuff that we expected and although not fully reassured I accepted it was early days.

However the situation hasn't improved and DS's confidence in his ability has hit rock bottom. He came out of school today and I'm now really concerned. He says that he has a banana brain, a goldfish brain and that he must have left his good brain at home!! He says he teachers says it. I believe it, these really are terms he would hear at home.

So now I need to know how do I deal with it. Do I speak with the teacher again or go to the head. The teacher is relatively inexperienced and new to reception.

I'd go to the head, it sounds as though the teacher is damaging his self esteem, poor lad

I'd have a quiet word with the teacher. Lots of children like being gently teased, and it may be that your teacher has just mis-read your son slightly.

It may be that he is hearing these phrases in books. Trying to be charitable to the teacher here!

I would write a letter to the head.

my ds came home from school the other day and said that he was rubbish at maths as another child had told him this. (He is Yr1 but very young). I did speak to the teacher who told me that my DS had been overheard saying this to another child, but we knew that he would never have heard that phrase at home as we support him very positively. What was interesting was the week after my chat with teacher my DS got an Achievement Award in Achievement assembly for good maths work and lots of comments in the book!! Co-incidence?

To be very fair to the teachers they will sometimes say things and our children only pick up part of it. Also other children in class can be very direct.

I keep reward stickers at home but I use them sparingly - my DS isn't a great one for praise so a little (and clearly meant) goes a long way.

I'd chat to the teacher again but don't assume that she made those comments.

Like samels001 I would chat to the teacher but not assume that she called him any names.

The phrase may have come from a book, tv or another child. Terms like banana brain sounds like an adult trying to say "silly billy" in a "funny" child-friendly way. I have a son in Reception and he would prefer to be asked to replace his banana brain with his normal one rather than have somebody use words like "focus" and "concentrate".

I would speak to the teacher about his confidence though. There may be things that she can do.

Ds started saying I am dim and I am not clever in reception. Am absolutely sure it wasn't from his teachers. Some of it was from his friends, but ds has an absolute genius for picking out anything negative- from an unrelated conversation or from a story and applying that to himself.

Talk to the teacher. Doesn't have to a big deal or confrontational, just say you're sure they'd like to know how DS's feeling about himself, then ask what can they/ you do to work to change that. If they don't say anything useful or the situation doesn't change, then go to the Head.

I think you need a concerned chat with the teacher and repeat what he is saying to you. Do not assume it is the teacher saying it, just raise your concerns about his general self esteem and ask for joint strategies to combat the problem.

if she has been saying this then that should be enough to stop her. if* she hasn't, then she can keep an eye out on the other children for bullying.

sorry, over keen with the bold writing there!

I advise you to talk to the head.
I think you should tend to believe your child if he says his teacher says these things. The head may already have had other "complaints" from parents or the classroom assistant may have expressed concern. Could it be any other member of staff ( children think alladults are teachers).
They may seem like an innocent phrases, but they are still very negative ( unless the adult is saying it about themselves) Would you like to be told you have a banana brain by your teacher? Why would he say his brain works backwards? Also, whether these comments are well meant or not they are effecting your ds self esteem.
Dont think of it as "telling" on your ds s teacher, im sure the head will be very profesional and should have a good working relationship with the teacher, but hopefully your concerns will be taken more seriously.