Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Twins in same or separate classes?

16 replies

ICandBmum · 18/02/2011 17:25

A well-worn question... seems I have to choose whether my boy/girl twins will be in the same or different classes in Sept? I didn't think I had the choice and they had to go in different classes. It would be easier for me if they were in the same class, esp since I'm back at work then - one set of parents, one class of birthday parties to cope with, one teacher - but would it be the best for them? They aren't overly close, there isn't a 'bossy one' and they apparently play independently at nursery....

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
missmapp · 18/02/2011 17:29

I dont have twins, but am a primary teacher. i have taught twins together and when they have been separated and both work well. When they are separated it is usually because one is very bossy of the other or because their parents think they behave better separatly. I'd go with your gut instinct.

mrz · 18/02/2011 18:06

Depends on the children agree with missmapp

sandyballs · 18/02/2011 18:08

Mine are in diff classes as I wanted them to make different friends and go to different parties. They are both girls though so you might find yours will do that anyway being boy/girl

SpringHeeledJack · 18/02/2011 18:13

I would have a chat with their teacher/the school

I know that some have a blanket policy on it, and always separate (which seems a bit harsh to me as a mother of twins)

kattyo · 18/02/2011 18:32

There has been a new study on twins in education - it's on the TAMBA website - and has some research on how well kids do separated or together. I want mine together as they get on well and are very good at introducing a third party in to play with them. Also one of them is sad when the other one is not around, and I can't see the point of causing them unnecessary distress, particularly as I suspect school is going to be hard work enough as it is. It will also be easier for me if they have the same friends and the same homework and the same schedule (though this is a reason I thought of later). The school told me it was up to me to decide - and we could review in year one. My desire to have them together has always been viewed with scepticism - but the new TAMBA research suggests it's a good thing in many cases.

clam · 18/02/2011 18:54

Ours is a 2-form entry school and it's always been standard practice to split twins unless there is a very good reason not to.
Single-form entry and I guess everyone copes regardless.

RupertTheBear · 18/02/2011 19:00

We always put twins together unless the parents request otherwise. I have no idea who made this decision, but we hardly ever split twins and it seems to work well. I don't see any reason not to put them together unless you particularly want them split.

twintalk · 18/02/2011 19:15

I had b/g twins in the same class in Infant school.

My dd was a typical girl, paid attention, always tried to please etc, the teachers in every year loved her, the teacher used to compare my kids in every aspect of their schooling - so while I tried my best not to compare my kids the teachers happily waxed on and on, comparing them at length like they were some kind of scientific experiment - it wasn't nice and it's not healthy - they are individuals - it shouldn't need to be pointed out.

I couldn't go in and have a conversation with the teacher about my ds without them bringing up my dd - sometimes to reflect on how easy she was - sometimes to bring her weak points into the meeting for discussion too, it was very frustrating. They always related the success of one to the failure of the other - the comparisons annoyed me beyond belief - I wanted them to be treated as individuals - with individual attention to their progress at times the teacher mixed up them up in her descriptions. She even asked my dd to tell tales on my ds - which caused no end of problems at home.

One woman with twins at the school said to me that I was lucky because she had already trained the teachers in dealing with twins in the same class - she said she went through a hellish year - daft things like sending home the class mascot for both of them to share - her girls didn't understand why they had to share the teddy and no one else did.

My kids are very close despite being b/g and enjoy each other's company. They were separated in nursery and played separately but when in school in the same class they became very close again. Not helped by the rigid ability setting in the class - they were judged to be the same and therefore had to sit at the same table for most of the day.
My ds liked to play with the girls in the class who he sat with but they were never seen as his friends, always as dd's and he found that hurtful, confusing and very isolating.

We moved school so they could be in separate classes. Before they never discussed their days with me, now they talk at length with me and with each other about what they get up to - it's really lovely to hear them get excited about their day. They still find each other at playtimes - they play with a big group of boys & girls kids from both classes, they have their own friends and they have shared friends. Parents Evening is a joy as I speak to a teacher about each child and they make no comments about the other one - I can't tell you how nice that is. And it also means that I'm not seeing the teacher twice as much as everyone else as I'm only seeing her about one child.

Changing schools over it was scary but imo it wasn't a great school anyway - I know it can work for some, teachers can help, some are more sensitive to the difficulties and don't spend their time with you comparing your children and some kids behave as if their twin doesn't exist - some get incredibly competitive - we didn't have that but I know it's a common problem.

My advice don't do it - or at the very least don't choose a school a single entry school.

exoticfruits · 18/02/2011 19:22

I don't have twins but I would ask for separate classes so they can have different friends and manage on their own and not be compared.

potplant · 18/02/2011 19:23

Mine are in different classes. It was chool policy so we didn't have much choice.

I like the fact that they aren't one unit at school, which they used to be at nursery ie 'the twins ate nicely today', 'the twins played football'. I really hate that.

Another major plus for me is that one of mine is a lot brighter than the other (ie getting extension work etc). There's no rivalry over it as we can just say 'its different in A's class'.

Class parties are a massive PITA if one is invited and the other isn't. And parent's evening when your appointments are an hour apart aren't too fun either.

verybored · 18/02/2011 19:33

Mine are in different classes, school policy, but I do agree. Mainly for us though it's because they are identical and people really do struggle to tell them apart. I like going to parents evening and hearing about them individually, rather than not being sure of they are talking about the right child.

It had also done mine good to be independant of eachother. It's also good to stop them competing. If one of them achieves something before the othe, I can explain that teachers do things differently.

IloveJudgeJudy · 18/02/2011 21:45

At my DC's primary, the policy used to be to put twins in the same class. One mother then specifically asked for her twins to be put in separate classes. The school did not comply and it caused her, the twins and the school no end of problems. In the end, they were separated, which proved to be better all round. They were very identical twins.

LeChatRouge · 18/02/2011 21:57

I have identical boys - now at college.

I echo what verybored says - we wanted them to be individuals, not 'the twins', so they have been in seperate classes all through school.

When they were about 9 I took one to a party and the mother insisted that the other went too, even though her daughter didn't really know him, she didn't want him to feel left out!

They have grown up very confident, great friends with each other and are happy to socialise together or seperately.

whoatethelastbiscuit · 18/02/2011 22:56

I have twin girls, now at uni. Same class in primary, which worked well, then split at middle school, after much discussion. Very difficult to know if you are doing the right thing, for us we were very aware that the "dominant" twin appeared very quiet and not at all bossy at school and they thought the more bubbly one was calling the shots, not the case, you had to watch for the "look" or the whispered side remark to know what was going on. By seperating them the quiet (but dominant) one learned to stand on her own, not rely on her sister to sort stuff for her, and the bubbly one (who was always on alert for the other one) got a chance to spread her wings and blossom. And as Verybored says, being twins teachers tend to mix them up, they just hear the word twin and have trouble getting names right - and ours aren't identical, we are a mixed race family, my dd's are different shades (one clearly mixed race and the other blond & blue eyed) but teachers still muddled their (very different) names thorough out their educationConfused.

ICandBmum · 19/02/2011 07:41

Many thanks for all your opinions and experiences :) - we'll have to think some more about this? I'll also look some more into the King's College research mentioned on the TAMBA website(thankyou Kattyo for that info).

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 19/02/2011 08:46

'When they were about 9 I took one to a party and the mother insisted that the other went too, even though her daughter didn't really know him, she didn't want him to feel left out!'

This is what I would really hate if I had twins-seeing them as 'the twins' -with the weird idea that you couldn't have one without the other.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread