4 year old - school being OTT?

[esmerdoo]

Hi, would appreciate any advice regarding following.

When DD was at pre-school she was very clingy and took a long time to settle in. Eventually she did and really enjoyed her time there.

She started in reception sept 10 and yet again it took her while before she settled in. She was very shy. Her confidence has grown quite a lot.

Anyway, recently her teacher has pulled me aside a few times and said DD keeps being silly. e.g. plays hide and seek in cloakroom when supposed to be outside, was playing guns with pepperpot in home corner with another child, licked the whiteboard! Teacher said she used to play with lots of children but doesnt anymore and plays with one particular child (have same character).

I did ask the teacher to encourage her to play with different children but this has not yet happened. DD is 5 in August and is quite babyish.

I have told DD off and told her to stop being silly at school or we will move her schools. Drastic I know but teacher's attitude is that these silly things she does are major and she did say she might get year head to have word with DD.

Thanks

It does seem an overreaction but I'd be wary of putting the idea that she could move school because of it in her head as it may backfire. She may think that if she keeps it up she can escape being told off.

Do you think the teacher is good at her job/do you have prob with her?

Sometimes they tell you this stuff so you can reinforce it at home.

My DS is also in reception, the teacher has told me things, she just wants me to talk to DS about them in the evening.

Agree with LIZS. Perhaps your DD is just a little immature (OK at this age!) Sometimes just saying 'being silly' doesn't help (they might think it is fun) but more concrete like 'when you need to be outside then you need to go and not hide in the cloakroom as no one will know where you are'. 'we don't lick things like white boards as you might get germs/might not taste nice etc.'

I don't think it sounds like the teacher is handling it in the best way.

BTW I have been told (and think it sounds reasonable) not to label children as silly (self fulfilling prophecy) but rather that the behaviour is silly. How about rewarding DD for particularly responsible and grown up behaviour? Also, any way of regularly inviting other children to your house after school (e.g. a different child each week), to try to encourage her to have more friends?

Senoritaviva - I did explain as you suggest regarding germs etc.

I do appreciate the teacher telling me these things and have spoken to DD about it. I also did say to the teacher that if she wanted to send DD to year head, go ahead.

I spoke to DD (scared of year head) and said if her silly behaviour continues she will be sent to year head.

I have an older child who has always been more mature than her peers so I dont know how to deal with this situation! DD promises not to be silly but cannot seem to control herself!

I wondered though whether the teacher was explaining to DD?

She might be one of those children who grow into her 'silliness' and is the person with the most sense of fun when she's older. In the meantime I guess hang in there.

Hard to control an urge for silliness at 4! My DS had similar issues in Reception and general bouncy, exuberant behaviour has got him into trouble in year 1. However- touchwood- he appears to have turned a corner. He seems to recognise he has a nicer day at school if he is well behaved. Still has occasional blip but is still only 5. I have noticed that some teachers find 'exuberance' easier to deal with than others...

shes 4 if she cant be silly now whan can you omg these teachers are pathetic talk about over react