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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Reception child - still not holding pen properly

18 replies

bacon · 14/02/2011 18:35

drives my husband insane and I'm not impressed as the teacher did say that they would stop him doing this by last christmas but he still not even trying. I try and try but he is so stubbon.

Should I address the teacher again or is there a way of breaking this bad habit at home?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheVisitor · 14/02/2011 18:38

I think you need to chill out and just let him get on with it. He's so, so young. If you really want to try to change it, just buy some triangular pencil grips. Don't get into a battle with him though, it'll only put him off completely.

mycarscallednev · 14/02/2011 18:45

Who is stubbon, the teacher, or your poor child? Writing is hard and uncomfortable, maybe he [your child] needs some time, or he may have bio mechanical issues that mean this is a problem for him. Try a pencil grip - Paperchase do brilliant ones that are tactile too. It may help - being driven 'insane' by a child not holding a pencil properly isn't going to encourage your child to pick up a pencil and give it another go. He'll just assume he's being watched to do it 'right', when he may not understand how to make his hand hold it properly.

mrz · 14/02/2011 18:46

I would keep "gently" reminding him froggy fingers keep it light hearted but persist!
How is he holding his pencil?

Greeninkmama · 14/02/2011 19:25

Yes, gentle reminders - I say 'pen hold' all the time to my DD and we are getting there. She is Y2. I noticed it in reception because I had the same problem and nobody ever corrected me. Have also pointed it out to the teachers but there is a limit to what they can do in a class of 30

I would really watch the irritation/anger coming out when you remind him though - you could easily put him off writing altogether.

IrritaGirl · 14/02/2011 19:46

I held my pen 'wrong' until I was about eight or nine and it never did me any harm. One teacher tried to get me to hold my pen the 'proper' way when I was about six and it just made me miserable. I changed my grip eventually so I could use a fountain pen without smudging all over the page, so my choice - now I alternate between the two grips depending on the pen I'm using.
If he can write and draw, what's the problem?

mrz · 14/02/2011 20:06

It depends how you held it ... quad grips which were previously considered wrong are now considered as a good alternative to the standard tripod grip. Palmer grip - which many young children adopt is an immature stage and other grips can cause physical pain when children are expected to write more.

cory · 14/02/2011 20:16

ds' teachers failed to correct his pencil grip for years- but then we found out he has a joint condition, so not really their fault

mrz · 14/02/2011 20:17

Could the joint condition have been rectified by OT?

kensworth · 14/02/2011 20:53

My hand writting is very legible and I have always held my pen incorrectly, runs in our family my dad, granddad and two of my children. Relax don't worry ds will grip a pen in a way comfortable to him

seeker · 15/02/2011 09:34

What do you mean, still? He's 5!

Boozilla · 15/02/2011 09:40

I've never really understood the big fuss about this. My DD has 'pencil grip' issues and is in Yr 1. I couldn't care less really, her writing is fine and she spends lots of time colouring in and drawing. I remind her occasionally if I remember but otherwise who cares??

Her dad's writing looks like a bunch of chickens with dirty feet ran over the paper, certainly hasn't affected his career!

candleshoe · 15/02/2011 09:43

It is vital to have correct grip a.s.a.p. (I am a teacher). It is more important than anything else when first learning to write.

I have sent all my own kids to school with perfect grip and they have then developed poor/incorrect grip during reception through the class teacher's casual approach!!!! AAArgh! This is very frustrating.

I have recently coached a 15 year old 'A grade' student in handwriting. We had to start right back at the beginning because when he was taking his mock GCSEs he failed all his exams because when working at exam speed his bad writing became utterly illegible. It has taken 15 hours of coaching to reteach him handwriting...and loads of hours of practice for him. He got 12 'As' last summer and we were all very proud of him.

Just keep gently working on it at home....it IS important to get right.

CMOTdibbler · 15/02/2011 09:50

Better though, to have a child enjoying writing and drawing using their own grip, than being put off by being nagged at every time they pick up a pencil, No ?

At 4/5, it really doesn't seem the end of the world to me. Its an awfully long time till he's 16

seeker · 15/02/2011 09:55

Nagging about how they hold their pencil strikes me as a sure fire way to stifle and creativity or love of writing that might be emerging

"mummy, mummy, I'm writing a lovely poem about you!" "But you're holding the pen all wrong"

"Mummy - look at my picture of the cat!" "It would have been so much better if you'd helrd the pencil the way I showed you"

IrritaGirl · 15/02/2011 09:59

So true seeker

crazygracieuk · 15/02/2011 10:08

I was chatting to my Reception son's teacher and she said that many children still have an incorrect grip.

My son had a bizarre grip too and I decided to really praise the correct grip rather than criticise the incorrect one. I also did things like sit down in his eyeshot and pick up a pen and he often corrected himself.

maizieD · 15/02/2011 18:27

At 4/5, it really doesn't seem the end of the world to me. Its an awfully long time till he's 16

Hmm! Take it from a very aged mummy that time doubles, or even trebles, in speed once you have children. Tomorrow evening (well it will seem like it) you'll be looking at your strapping 16y old and saying "Blimey, it seems like only yesterday that he was in Reception"

If you believe in a completely digital future, when all writing is done on word processors using voice to text software (or some gizmo I can't even visualise at the moment) then don't worry about pen grip, handwriting will soon be obsolete.

If you think that handwriting will continue to be a useful skill, then worry about the grip; just don't nag him to death over it...

A poor grip can cause real discomfort when writing, poor handwriting and slow handwriting. I think it's worth trying to do something about if it shows no sign of improving/changing as he matures.

generalhaig · 15/02/2011 19:26

ds1 could not write at all in reception - on the few occasions he could be persuaded to hold a pencil he gripped the top of it in his fist

gradually, and I mean gradually ..., he began to learn how to hold a pen and then pencil and started writing properly

he sailed through exams for selective secondaries and is flying high in Y9. He'll never win prizes for the neatness of his handwriting but he's won several prizes for his stories

there's an awfully long way for your ds to go at school - if you start turning writing into a battle at this stage it's not going to help anyone

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