Not happy with school, shall we change or is that bad move?

[ElinElin]

My DD is in reception in our local school. It would not have been our first choice but we were ok with it when she started. After xmas I was very concerned and have reason to believe that my DD is not being monitored properly and teacher does not know what she can do. I had a meeting with the teacher to express my concerns and she was very negative about my DD and didn't offer any solutions for improvement. I was just so disappointed with teachers' attitude. I am also concerned about how seriously behaviour is taken in school. My dd often comes home and tells me kids got punched, someone put their hands around someones neck so they could not breath. And the other day my dd had been slapped in the face 3 times. I know kids are kids and things will happen, I am just wondering what the school does about it. All in all due to various things I am not too impressed with school. My dd is ok there not unhappy. I am thinking of putting her name on a waiting list for the school that would have been our first choice. Would this be a mistake? I am worried it would unsettle my daughter and what if things are not better there? Don't know what to do.

U need to make an appointment to speak with the head teacher, not your class teacher and make a list of questions before u go. Any headteacher worth their salt wont mind in the slightest if u grill them, thats what they get paid shedloads for after all. And if u dont get the answers u want then u need to take it up with LEA, after all if u choose to move then they'll be ones dealing with your application anyway so they are best placed to sort things out.

Definitely put her on the waiting list. It's easy to move a child at this stage.

She will be fine with moving.

There is no excuse for regular behaviour like that in the playground. It is not normal.

Put her name down on the waiting list for every school you would consider. You don't actually need to make the decision to move until a place comes up.

But based on what you said about behaviour I would move her.

Remember you only have your dd's interpretation for the playground stuff. Anyone knocking into someone accidently usually gets translated as X punched Y. If your dd is not unhappy I would think carefully about moving her. As this wasn't your first choice are you seeing the worst all the time? The slapping - was it a game, how did it start, had your dd got involved accidently, was it retaliation for something your dd did? Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thanks for your comments. To hocuspontas; I know I am hearing it from my daughter and I also know that she would report to me every little push etc. Pushing and pinching etc happens I understand that. But the slapping in the face was totally unprovoked. A TA saw when it happend. And told my daughter to go to welfare to have her cheek looked at since it was red. Apart from the behaviour I am also not happy with the teacher. I have written about it on another thread here before but basically it was the teachers' negative attitude when I came to see her. You are right it was not our first choice school and I know what you mean about 'seeing the worst' but we did go in with a really positive attitude when she first started. But now things are cropping up here and there that we are not happy with.
I think I will put her on the waiting list, like you guys say I don't have to make a decision now and even if we would eventually get a place I have a feeling it would take a long time.

Bad news, I spoke to the council about going on the waiting list. The school we want, there my dd would be 35 on the list and 20 of the kids already on there live closer than we do. He said there is not much chance.
So upset. There is a parent meeting in March. I will see what comes of that and then maybe speak to Headteacher.:(

You have to go with your gut instint. The other thing I would say is what are the other teachers like? My ds had a terrible teacher last year but the one he has this year is fantastic. The other teachers further up the school are also really good.

I would go and see the head. Their reaction to your situation will tell you a lot about the culture of the school. If they are dismissive and try and get rid of you then move her. In the meantime, you can put her name down at other schools, and even if places come up, you don't have to move her.

Sorry, cross posted.

I would make an appointment to see the head as soon as possible, not waiting for the other meeting.

Another tip is if at all possible see if you can go into school for an afternoon a week to help out. This gives you a much better feel of what exactly is going on in the classroom on a day to day basis.

You can still put her name down at the other school as if places come up others might not want them. Are there any other schools you could try?

hope that helps

Thanks bobblehat. Yes you are right there is no harm putting her name down and then try and make the best of the situation in the current school. And like you say hopefully she will get another teacher next year and that might change things. Sometimes as a mum (first time mum, second on the way) I start thinking am I over reacting etc. Which is why it is great to get opinions on netmums. Thanks

Check and see if there are any other local schools you like. You might be surprised - couldbe a little walk away out of town, or in a small village a couple of miles away etc. Many small village schools are great, and lots of them will have places too.

I'd really not be happy with the behaviour where she is.

It's far harder to move children after reception as they have friends established.

You can apply for several schools at once, but just ring around a few nice looking ones and see if they say there are places.

Google 'primary schools' plus the name of your town, and you should get a few sites with a list of schools. Then you can go and look at their individual websites to get a feel for the school.

That's what we've done.

I wouldnt wait til meeting in march, I'd go see head this wk and just explain. Its not just your kid, if u move her thats fine but u r leaving all the other kids with her! so head needs to be made aware of the situation then it can be monitored and hopefully changed.

OP "My dd often comes home and tells me kids got punched, someone put their hands around someones neck so they could not breath. And the other day my dd had been slapped in the face 3 times. I know kids are kids and things will happen."

I don't think this is normal behaviour - seems like a lack of supervision that is unacceptable.

I would definitely put your DD on the waiting list of a nearby school that you have a reasonable chance of getting into - if there is one. But I wouldn't let that stop you from trying to sort things out at this school. Do go and express your worries to the head, and see what comes out of that conversation.

Thanks, really good to hear what you guys think. When teachers see something happening they do obviously intervene etc but a lot of these things happen in the playground when so many kids are around at the same time and not so many adults supervising. Do you think the problem is supervision in playground or how the school deals with behaviour, or both?
And regarding teacher's attitude I hope it will be better at parent evening. They do split the classes in Year 1 so hopefully dd will get another teacher. And I think I will enquire about going in to school to help an afternoon etc to see how things are at school.

I'd go to see the head.

(Sounds like your dd is in my dd's school, tbh. We're in a similar situation...)

Good luck. Our head was little use (although some of our suggestions did get adopted by them and some things have improved).