Advice for yr 5 parents evening please - I feel ds's teacher just isn't behind ds

[Longstocking2]

ds has a competent teacher. His maths is improving and his writing is slowly getting better. But she is very hard nosed in my opinion for a primary school teacher.

She doesn't do merits (can't be bothered it seems to me)
although the school has a well established use of them.

Appears to have strong favourites whose self defence she believes, anyone else is not allowed to defend themselves.

Won't mark homework that's late by one day (regardless of reason) but if she's late marking it, expects that to be fine.

Says things like "I know which group will do the best poems/songs/pictures". Always saying 'only the best' will get displayed, put up etc. Not distinguishing that another group's 'best' may not be the overall best.

Sent ds to time out recently with another boy without finding out what had really happened or checked later - no defence allowed (unless you're one of her beloved ones).

Doesn't seem to have any feeling that ds has strengths and could thrive. I think he's invisible to her. Not clever or naughty enough, just in the middle. She in as many words said he's mediocre - at last meeting when I asked if we could aim for him making progress in maths or English.

He's doing brilliantly at reading comprehension, keeps getting 100% in that computer assessment thing and still isn't in the top reading group (not that that matters, it's just I want him to be able to have a sense of progress and achievement).

I don't want to go in to parents evening with her and burst into tears but I'm so fed up with her and the school that I think I might....

I'm not saying he should have special treatment, I just think teachers should be impartial, they should make time to find out what has happened in disputes. They should mark homework unless a child is persistently late. They should set an example of industry themselves. They should believe in all the kids and send a message that everyone can do brilliantly at their level, there shouldn't be favourites. If the school has a merit system it should be used.
No teacher is perfect but she should get behind her kids imho.

What can I say to her that will have the best outcome for ds? I don't think I can hide how upset I am though!

You will always (sadly) come across teachers who have favourites or anti-favourites. You may need to just concentrate on getting him through Year 5 and ask his Year 6 teacher to assess him again.

If it is bad, then you really need to voice concerns with the Head. I had a teacher at school who forced me to write right-handed, ignored the fact I could already read and had me down as a troublemaker. My parents, understandably were upset...and when they raised the issues, found they had a large majority of similarly concerned parents behind them. You don't have to be specific about your son, raise the issues you think affect the whole class, such as the merits system and her singling out specific groups.

I think for parents evening you need to go in strong. Don't ask what you can do - ask what she is doing to improve your son, such as how she is working to improve his maths and English skills. Lay the blame of him being allegedly mediocre at her feet. If she thinks he is, what steps is she taking!?

Say you are concerned that he keeps getting 100% on reading comprehension...don't use it as an example of how clever he is but rather use it to question whether he is in the right group - don't mention the top reading group but rather your concern that he is not getting pushed enough and is getting bored in class (mediocre can often be a result of boredom if a child is not pushed enough by a teacher so this should set her teachery alarms ringing!)

Also teacher's use poor writing as an excuse to suggest a lack of intelligence. Just think of Doctors..they have the worst handwriting but no one would acuse them of being stupid! I have an MA but very rarely write anything - and always got terrible reports for handwriting at school!!!

Hope it goes well x

Thanks for that, I feel a bit better about it having vented and talked to a friend whose ds had same teacher.
I'm going to be very positive in the parents evening and just listen to what she says and raise concerns in a positive way. I think antagonising her is of no use to ds.