Mum of a summer born boy looking for reassurance

[SundayToast]

DH and I had parents evening this week for DS who is a June birthday and in Year 1. His teacher said lots of lovely things about DS, and we agreed that his 'issues' are more to do with being immature and all the things that come with that - lack of concentration, high distractability, not so great fine motor skills, prone to getting upset or over excited. Having said that he has calmed down a lot this year and is definitely making progress.

However, and I know this isn't the be-all-and-end all, but his NC levels are all at 1B at the moment. I am assuming this equates to a 2B at the end of Year 2? Now, I know that is the national average, but I was hoping that he would more on target for 2A - he is bright, just not quite as ready to learn as his sister was at the same point in Year 1.

Will his school be 'happy' if he gets to 2B and not feel he 'should be' a 2A as he is a summer born boy? Or would a 2B kind of level actually be a good achievement for a June born boy?

I suppose what I am asking is - is expecting a 2A level kind of level asking too much of him, or would expecting a 2B be asking too little, taking into consideration he is verbally bright, reading ort 5/6 and good at arguing, but a young 5 1/2 year old boy?

Sorry that is so long!

My DS was born on 29 June and at same stage of year 1 was also reading ort level 5. He is now in year 5 and has settled down fantastically and is currently a level 5b for maths and 5c for literacy. He is still quite emotionally immature and I find the presentation of some of his work, particularly his homework, to be shocking, but something must be going right! Your DS will be fine and I am sure will progress, boys often jump later on

I think you're wrong with your 2B projection for next year - see National Strategies site - scroll down a bit to the graph and you'll see that while a 2 is expected at the end of Yr2, it's a 4 by the end of Yr6. So you're going up a half-level a year (in theory), not a whole level, IWSWIM.

Not that this matters at all - is he happy? How are his social skills? Is he imaginative? Can he concentrate for short periods if he wants to? He's 5 - let him just be 5. It doesn't matter if he's a 2a or a 2b or a 6 or whatever - the school might mind a bit, secretly, because obviously every school wants to get as many 2As as they can, but so what? As long as they're doing their best for him and giving him whatever additional support he needs, and as long as he's happy and is enjoying learning, then relax.

Children develop at enormously different rates - and schools know that. And most schools do monitor summer borns quite closely at KS1 especially. This time next year he might have made a huge leap in maturity or he might need some extra help - in the meantime just enjoy him.

Oh, that is reassuring btp! I think Ds will always be behind his peers emotionally, certainly at primary level, but know he is capable of a good standard to work as he gets older. I just don't want him written off just because he is young.
Did you notice at what point your DS started accelerating?

Hassled, I get what you are saying. So far I have been asking school NOT to push him, thinking it would be counterproductive to his immaturity. However, I don't want them to have low expectations just because of his slow start if you see what I mean? It is good to hear summer borns are mnonitored closely at KS1...

His teacher (very experienced, I trust her, muttered about his levels moving from 1B to 2B, which is where I got that idea from). Is that an acceleration then do you think?

Yes, it would imply an acceleration :). Doesn't sound like low expectations - it implies she thinks he'll progress at a faster than average rate.

I should have added that 3 of my 4 DCs are summer born - they're all doing well. DC2 was noticeably behind her peers until probably around Y4 when she suddenly leapfrogged over them and never looked back. DC1 never really struggled and his only problem was innate laziness which lasted all the way up to University, when he woke up :o. And DC3 again was a late-developer academically, but was put on the Gifted&Talented register by Yr6 (not that that actually means much).

And it's often the case that the children who aren't maybe doing quite so well academically are the children who are doing much better at developing social skills, learning to share, to compromise, to negotiate etc. Which at this age is just as important, as far as I'm concerned.

He is 5 & male. A reasonable expectation is that he would be below average (speaks as mother of Aug born DS). Ask only that he tries his best. In time he will come good & show his talents.

Thanks Hassled, you are saying just what I want to hear!

DS is lovely, and has grown up so much since he started school. However, he looks (and acts) so much younger that some of his classmates (who, if I am honest, act far too old for their years imo) and I do worry for him, in a way I just didn't think about for his winter-born sister .

Tbh, the main reason I want him to do well academically is so he feels good about himself, rather than me being a pushy mum .

hi, Sundaytoast I am in exactly your position except that my DS is late-August born. You are right to be concerned - all evidence from the last 20 years demonstrates clearly that summer-born children in this country (UK) do not perform as well ON AVERAGE as children born earlier in the academic year. This is due to many factors but 1 key factor is that the expectation from teachers of the performance of these children is less, so over time the academic gap does not close. This performance gap is also present in other aspects of life including top sportspeople.

However having said all of that what can we do as parents? Putting pressure on bright lively 5 years olds cannot be the answer. Like you I would like my DS to do well for his own worth and future. But I have to positively resist the urge to coach and push and I fail sometimes.

Why, why, why can parents not be allowed to decide if their child would be better off deferring a full school year. It would be the best outcome for many.

Perhaps I'll have a glass and toast our dear summer-born children.

Please don't stress about levels! I'm a primary school governor and mum to two boys - ds1 is 17 with dec b-d and ds2 is 15 with july b-d.

I'll be surprised if ds2 doesn't outperform ds1 in terms of gcse grades.

Summer born children are often 'behind' in ks1 but teachers are well aware of this and will give appropriate support.

Children in Y2 are normally targeted with a full level of progress (so from a 1b to a 2b). So you are right that currently school 'expect' him to reach a 2b in KS2.

However, it's a year and half away. It's just a prediction. In reality he could reach any grade. And there is almost no difference between a 2b and a 2a anyway....

So don't worry. If he gets a 2b be pleased. If he gets a 2a be pleased. (Not to mention you are given grades in 4 subjects so he could do differently in all of them.)

He won't do what the school expects him to do anyway - he'll do what he's capable of.... And no amount of worrying will change that :)

But certainly a 2b is a very respectable grade and will stand him in good stead to start the juniors.

Summer born husband's done just fine. And summer born gp okay too! Only found that out because was stressing about having summer baby soon!

As a Secondary school teacher I can honestly say that you can't tell who is born when by that point, there are so many other factors at play. Some of the brightest pupils I have taught have actually had July/August birthdays I noticed, and some of the weakest were in the autumn.

I have a September born, then an August born (who will start school just one year after his big brother who is almost 2 years older!) and another on the way who is also going to be August. I am worried about the first bit of primary, it's hard not to, but beyond that that I'm not too concerned.

It's a bit of a watch and wait game and a couple of years to see how it all comes out in the wash can seem like an eternity. I don't think ability grouping in reception is a great thing for helping the younger ones. I think thinking of readiness in the first couple of years much more appropriate.

My son is born in March and he has not followed the classic formula for progressing.

He left Y1 on 1a, Y2 on 2a, Y3 on 3b, Y4 on 4a and is expected to leave Y5 on 5a.

He was very socially immature to the extent that he needed social speech therapy and nurture group support. He was on bottom tables in Y1 but by end of Y3 he was on the top tables. He seems to have learning spurts and in an ideal world he would have started formal schooling at a more European age of 6 ish.

DS is a mid-July baby. He's a bright child, but his age showed well into year 2, really, in that he was not as fast to read as I expected, has found writing hard - slow, and messy writing. Then after these skills were mastered to a more fluent level he just sailed ahead at top speed, and the age difference has become less and less noticeable, and he is on track for 5s in Yr6 SATS.
They don't progress along a steady slope, they go in fits and starts.
As long as he is progressing, I would stop being anxious about the rate of progression.

Another summer-born here, with a summer born DS too and both doing just fine.

Something that I've seen in school time and time again is that Yr 2 really is the year for boys. Everything comes together and the reading and writing clicks in a way that it never did before.

And as far as feeling good about himself - I know several people who found school easy for the first several years, so didn't really develop strategies for hard work iyswim. Then when school got a little harder, in secondary, they weren't able to coast and their self-esteem suffered because it was hung on their marks. So I think far better to base self-esteem on effort and improvement rather than attainment. If you know you've done your best, and you can see how much you've improved, you really have something to be proud of and an attitude to carry you through life.

Sorry Hassled, went to bed!
I found that DS started to improve in Year 3. I was worried about Year 3 as I had heard it was a year where sometimes little progress is made, but DS did really well (with the help of a lovely teacher who expected him to do well, but supported him in this).
As I say though he is still emotionally immature and I am not sure when that will change. I certainly can't see it happening before senior school and I worry that Year 7 might be quite a struggle.

That was meant to read SundayToast, am getting the OP mixed up!

Another one with an August boy. Started in middle groups in Reception, 2nd to top in Year 1 and top groups from then on. There are so many variables at play that its impossible to say how your little chap will pan out. I'd advise you to chill out, except that someone (DS's reception teacher, actually ) said that to me and I didn't!

What I will add is that last time I taught in Year 2 (am mainly upper KS2), in the Autumn term the upper 2 groups were packed full of Sept/Oct birthdays. When I met the same class a few years on up in Year 5, the make-up of the groups had totally changed, with the summer-borns having more than caught up and a good number of the Autumns having tailed off in comparison.

He'll be fine! Hope he's happy and settled in school.

My DS is mid August and was very emotionally immature in Yr1, got tearful etc.

If it helps, he passed the 11+ (not age weighted) and is doing very well with his GCSE's :)

I don;t understand the 1A, 2B rankings because I have no school age children yet. Comfort might be that DH's birthday is at the end of July. Despite being the youngest but 2 or in his year all through school (village primary, comp) he always did OK to well in school and is bright. He has far better exam results than either me or his brother (identical schooling) who are both November babies. I realise that this is a very long term prospect for you though.

crazygracie: 'My son is born in March and he has not followed the classic formula for progressing.

He left Y1 on 1a, Y2 on 2a, Y3 on 3b, Y4 on 4a and is expected to leave Y5 on 5a.'

Hardly 'classic' Gracie.
Goodness knows why he was on 'bottom table' in Y1 working slightly above average - ending Y3 slightly above average.

His progress in Y4 from 3B to 4A was nothng short of phenomenal, and he is now working around the expected level for a 14 year old! A CVA miracle!

Thanks for all the supportive comments. It is good to hear that children do go in leaps and starts, and that a slow start does not mean that children will have lower expectations made of them.

As I said, it is not about academic attainment per se, but mainly for DS's self esteem - my DH who is a July baby said he ended up feeling like he was second-class because he was always playing catch-up at school, even though at Uni he got a 1st . I suppose I don't want DS to feel second rate when he is just younger - it doesn't help that for some bizarre reason, his class is really skewed towards winter and spring borns, so his age stands out more iykwim?

I'm another one here with an Aug-born DS who has struggled with playing peer catch-up/ self-esteem and also being treated as 'the baby'.

I've got a thread on an issue related to sport here - you might be interested to read!