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Primary education

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Original poster

Year 1 incentives and encouragement... Not forthcoming for ds

8 replies

CharlieBoo · 08/02/2011 21:19

My ds is year 1 and as far as I know is doing ok. It's very hard to know if he's average in the class as there is no way to tell and teacher is very cloak and dagger to the parents. My ds has been happy and I have seen lots of progress and teacher has said she's happy with progress. However in the last couple of weeks He's been coming home saying things like I'll never get the class bear to take home on Fridays as I'm not the 'clever lot'. They also do a star system in class and if you get 6 stars you get to pick something out of teachers bag. Some children have up to 20 stars since sep... Maybe more by now and ds has 5. He said tonight...' Miss .. Never picks me, I'll never get to pick out if her bag.' it makes me sad he feels like this. How do I deal with this? I don't want to make her give ds anything but if I say nothing he getsmore deflated. Experienced mners... How do I handle this?

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magicmummy1 · 08/02/2011 21:34

Maybe just mention to the teacher that you think he is craving a bit of recognition or encouragement?

Original poster

CharlieBoo · 08/02/2011 22:17

Thanks magicmummy. I might have a word this week. I think he is the type of child who really is inspired with some encouragement. In reception they were very good at that and this yearthey do it, but he hasn't had anything yet. I don't want to sound like a pushy mum to her though, I know there are 30 children but my ds just needs a little something.

OP posts:

magicmummy1 · 08/02/2011 22:29

I wouldn't worry about sounding pushy if I were you. As long as you don't go in demanding to know why LittleCharlie hasn't received any awards, I think the teacher will take it in the spirit in which it's meant - genuine concern for your child and a proactive approach to ensuring that his need for encouragement is met.

I was talking to one of the other mums at school about this recently, and she approached the teacher because she felt her dd needed a bit more praise and encouragement. The teacher was extremely receptive, and together, they have come up with some suitable "rewards" to keep the dd motivated.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 08/02/2011 22:50

I agree...bugger it if she thinks you're pushy....sometimes you have to be pushy. Your DS is showing he needs recognition...she needs to give it.

skybluepearl · 08/02/2011 23:19

We had this and mentioned it twice to the teacher half way through the academic year but was ignored. Nothing happened. She has her favorites, bad book keeping, would give little feed back about progress etc and seemed to have PMT all the time. Ended speaking to the head -who was then also ignored can you believe. Finally wrote a letter asking them to be fairer with rewards and high lighting how upsetting my son was finding it - which seemd to work. head has made sure all students get a minimun amount of rewards each term now - it's policy. there were quite a few well behaved, able but quiet children going without - my son was one of a handful of children being overlooked.

beagle101 · 08/02/2011 23:36

We had exactly this problem with DD who is also in yr1 - DD does well but not amazingly well and was making comments along the lines of your DS as she never received certificates for doing well etc - we had a quiet word with the teacher and just explained how upset DD was and that she was getting a bit discouraged how did she suggest we handle it. The teacher was great and has worked really hard to encourage DD so that she does earn certficates etc on her own.

Definitely have a word - it may be straightforward as it was in our case and DD's confidence is now greatly improved! Good luck!

TheClaw · 09/02/2011 10:36

OP your situation is almost identicial to mine. My DT's are very different but very good girls who work hard are polite and well behaved. One of them flies through her work, the other is stuggling a bit with year one but has really come on lately.

One of them has just had the class bear (about 18th child out of 30 I would say) and the other still hasn't had it).

They have not had any certificates for good work or good behaviour yet the class naughty children have had certificates, bears and been sent to the headmaster for recognition of their good work.

What does that tell them? That you are rewarded for being naughty!

I have been thinking of going in but don't want to be pushy or a pain! Seeing this post has made me think I will try and catch hold of the teacher and mention it to her.

Original poster

CharlieBoo · 09/02/2011 12:35

Thanks so much for the replies.

Theclaw, that must be very tricky for you with the twins in the same class. Glad this thread has helped you too.

It does appear to be the same children or the 'naughty' (for want of a better word) children that get the rewards in ds' class. There is one particular girl who is very very bright and seems to get certificate, bear, stickers, special award in assembly and now the children are noticing this. I am not overly bothered about top tables and all that malarky that narks a lot of the other mums in the playground, but I want the recognition to be fair, or as fair as possible. If my ds had a little incentive it would give him such a boost. Its infuriating as some of the other children i.e, said clever girl just doesn't need it and has had her share and more it seems.

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