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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

SAHM and starting primary school

14 replies

kattyo · 07/02/2011 13:17

Alright. This is a bit premature. The children haven't even got a school place yet. And I'm not even sure I want them to go this early (if htey can defer until the term after they are five) because I am not sure that they are ready. But say they do get a place, and they don't defer.

WHAT ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

Any strategies on coping without them? I had a very fulfilling engaging career which I have given up entirely to be a (single) SAHM. I haven't got a job to go back to - of course I can create one, of course I can create another life. But I feel as if I will be loosing the children... I want to spend time with them. Not doing something else!

I know they need social interaction without me (and currently they geet a lot - three days at nursery, plus music and dance when I'm out the room). But I'm there for them every minute they are not otherwise engaged and fully enjoy my time with them. I do not get bored. I love it.

I know this is ridiculous. I know whether or not they go to school is not about me. But I'm posting this to ask other SAHM 1) what it's like when your kids go to school and how have you felt? and 2) how you have coped when the nest is empty for 32.5 hours a week...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

IndigoBell · 07/02/2011 13:24

Work part time?

Fiddledee · 07/02/2011 13:43

Have more children

Ragwort · 07/02/2011 13:46

You are worried about having free time - it's fantastic !!

What do you like doing - reading, going to the gym, voluntary work, housework , gardening, sleeping, walking ............. surely you can find things to fill your time ?

Very content SAHM with a school age child .

IndigoBell · 07/02/2011 13:50

You can also volunteer to help in the school. Most schools love parents to help out....

Also join the PTA, be a school governor...

nikki1978 · 07/02/2011 13:55

Well my youngest starts in Sept and I have been thinking for over a year about what I am going to do as it is going to be a big change. Moving forward from the baby and toddler years really. I am looking forward to it personally. There is still a lot of time to spend together and DD loves school - fingers crossed DS will too!

I am taking this as an opportunity to think about what I want now. After all the children will be grown up and possibly moving out in the next 15 years and I will only be mid forties then with hopefully lots of life ahead of me.

I am thinking seriously about retraining to be a nurse so would start studying as soon as the DC are both in school. I work part time at the moment and should be able to do that alongside studying for the time being. I am going to start volunteering at the local hospital next month to make sure I enjoy it before I commit to study.

If I were you I would start having a think about what you want from your life as your children grow. If you can afford it and are happy not to work then you can certainly fill your time with housework etc etc. Maybe you could volunteer a bit? Or would you prefer to return to work? There are several hours out of school, weekends, holidays to spend with the children. 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, 39 weeks a year is not a huge amount in the scheme of things!

Personally I would not base all my decisions around the children. You have to remember that they are young now but one day they will be teenagers and be busy with their own friends and then they will be off working or at Uni. Start thinking about you and want you want to accomplish with your life. You only get to do it once after all!

DreamTeamGirl · 07/02/2011 14:14

Its not that much time tho really is it, especially when they first start and are part time, then there are the assemblies to go to, going along to read with his class, getting involved with PTA type stuff...

I bet you fill the time really easily- I am just very jealous!!

onimolap · 07/02/2011 19:57

They finish mid-afternoon, and really need you then. There are long, long holidays. There are the days when they're poorly, the random concerts and sports days; the list goes on.

Wait until you're in the swing of it, if you can!

newname0601 · 07/02/2011 20:12

My 2 started in September and left an empty home. But I've been busy. There was of course the half days that seemed to go on forever. Then there was the constant illnesses that seemed never ending. Then there were major problems with my ds which took up lots of time. I had intended to start studying and re-train this term but its not to be. What I have done though is join the PTA and I also now volunteer in another school (I want to be a ta so this is valuable experience). I am going to start studying in September part-time and I can't wait. A year late but I've really needed this time to "find" myself.

rabbitstew · 07/02/2011 20:32

Lots to do - make up for the fact you can't go out in the evening without paying for a babysitter by going out during the day to do something fun; volunteer in the school or elsewhere (this could in itself fill up virtually the whole time, all within school hours); sort out the garden; become a school governor; join the PTA; read books; sort out the junk in the loft; get housework out of the way; fix the leaking taps and other minor issues around the house; buy pets for the kids and then play with them yourself; start a new hobby; walk everywhere instead of driving; learn a new language; prepare delicious, wholesome meals (not my thing, but I hear some people actually like cooking); retrain for another future career; wonder how you ever managed to get anything done when your kids were around all the time.

UniS · 07/02/2011 20:37

I'm way busy now DS has started school. Fire wood to find/ cut/ store , a volunteer project to get stuck into and going into school as a dinner lady, I'm on the look out for a piano teacher having "found" a piano. also got some knitting projects I want to do, an a quilting one and a garden to grow fruit and veg in.... lots and lots to do.

And once DS IS home form school in the afternoon, there is lego to play with, cake making to do, reading and making stuff.Then he gets 30 min of bebbies while I cook dinner.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 07/02/2011 22:43

I was worried like you...really worried. It took me about a week to get used to it!

readinginbed · 08/02/2011 16:52

This probably won't help but I found it REALLY HARD. The house was so quiet and I missed them terribly. It did take a few weeks to start enjoying having my mornings to myself. I use them to study for my Open Uni degree and am thinking of getting a cat for company as no more children on the horizon

wilbur · 08/02/2011 16:56

Gosh, I seem to be in the minority for throwing ds2 in through the door of Reception and running shrieking with joy down the street on his first day.

wilbur · 08/02/2011 17:00

Seriously though, the hours at school are not that long, and if you like being a busy person, there is tons to do. I have always worked part time from home but it has been sporadic the last couple of years because of the recession and I have taken up some really interesting voluntary work one morning a week as well. Ditto what the other says about helping out at school (although try not to volunteer just because you want to spy on your kids - understandable, but not helpful in the long run, IMO)

Now the dcs are in Y5, Y3 and Y1, I am going back to being a WOHM for 2 days a week and I'm really looking forward to it. Three years ago I would have been stressed at the idea, but things change fast as they grow up and now I'm ready.

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