age of starting school at a private school

[theDudesmummy]

Hi, I wonder if people can help me with this.

(I was not brought up in England so am not very au fait with the schooling system).

I have a son, currently only 20 months, but am looking into school matters as he will be going to an independent school and I realise you have to get your name down early.

Now from my reading on the subject it appears to me that a child has to go to school from the Sept after they turn 5 (his brthday is in May so that would be 2014). I have tried putting his name down to start school in Sept 2014 but the schools have all got back to me to say that he would have to start 2013 in order to get his place. This will mean that he will only be just over 4 when he has to start. Because he is a very littl'un (premature and IUGR so still very small and likely to carry on being rather petite), I was quite keen for him to only go when he is 5. It doesn't seem possible to get a place in a private school at age 5, however.

Can this be right? Any ideas? Thanks.

Most private schools will expect your child to start in Reception at the latest (ie in the September after he has turned 4), possibly earlier in a Nursery class.

But most children at state schools also start in Reception - so no difference there.

Why are you so keen for your son to wait until he is 5 to go to school?

Most English schools, private or state, have a 'reception' year when they are 4-5.

The anomaly is that legally they don't have to go till 5, as you say but in practice its 4.

So best look for a school with a comfortable, friendly reception class - they typically aren't sitting at desks all day at that age, its a sort of transition from pre-school to 'real' school (or should be)

Ds was prem and tiny and end June birthday. He started at pre-prep when he was 4. The school had a very detailed parent questionnaire on what he could do and not do so I had no concerns at all. There is a big difference between a 20 month old and a 4 yr old.

You could start him in yr 1 depending on space at the school you choose. If you want him to be held back a year and start in reception you will need to discuss it with the school. Personally I think it is too soon to be having that sort of conversation.

Yes, English schools (state and private) have their main entry point at the start of the Reception year (ie age 4 on 1st September), and this is before the statutory age (term after 5th birthday to be in school or receiving education elsewhere).

The school will be aiming to fill all its available places at that point, and I've never come across one that has a year 1 entry.

That said, there is a lot of churn in schools (particularly private schools in London, as many families with children that age choose to move out of town), so it's not usually that difficult to find a suitable ad hoc place.

I suppose I am a bit (or a lot) overprotective! Maybe things will change when he gets a bit bigger! He is a precious, long awaited, very-late-in-life one and only PFB, and I suppose I can't even imagine him at school! (he's very small). I am sure I am just being silly...

Thanks for all the quick replies, very helpful. I know it is early to think about this yet, but the schools I am considering all advise getting his name down asap.

Children start school (reception year) in the school year (sept to aug) that they turn 5, so they actually start at 4. Legally they are required to be in some kind of regular education from age 5, but a pre-school nursery that takes 2-5 year old would fit this criteria. Private schools vary in their starting age, some incorporate pre-school and others don't start until age 5 ( yr 1).

If you are concerned about it being too early at age 4 for your ds maybe try and find a private pre-school/nursery (stand alone) and apply for him to start proper school in year1. You may have to gamble a bit on a place becoming available however-depends on how mobile the population in the area is, ie chances of someone moving away. Where are you looking?

Its not too early to be thinking about it - especially if you're interested in nursery/preschool at all too, many private primaries have those. Not to early to start visiting and getting a feel for the schools available to you either.

Agree with pixie - they will be well used to dealing with boys with summer birthdays and will have small class sizes anyway - just dont pick a really hothousy competitive one and you will be fine.

Plus you'll get money off for your first 2 terms until he turns 5.

I would advise getting his name down and securing a place, then if you feel it is the best thing, request deferral for a year, I think many schools would try and be accommodating.

I wouldnt defer until year 1 as I would be worried about him falling behind - even at a non-pushy school.

I disagree, if he is at a good private pre-school they will be doing plenty of work with him on reading, writing etc, if he is ready. They will also be introducing some routine to the older children so that they are used to circle time, quiet carpet time etc when they do get to proper school.

I agree with poster that said that there is a huge difference between 20 mths and 4yrs and by the time you have to make a decision on school, probably January before the September he is due to start, you will have a better feeling about whether he will be ready (emotionally-confidence in a group etc and physically- full time school can be exhausting for little ones) for a bigger school environment. I think most are, but for some, the more nurturing, free-play based approach of a pre-school is better for their confidence. I really don't think there would be any detrimental effect academically, there is such a huge spread of ability at that age he would be unlikely to stand out and I am sure he would catch up to his potential very quickly if he had missed certain areas in reception.

I speak as a parent of a small August born DS by the way, he is quite sensitive, but confident and outgoing. His (state) school split their intake so he started in jan rather than sept and I was much happier about that than if he started just after he turned 4.

Ds was given the choice of when in the reception year he should start. I was guided by his nursery teacher who said he was more than ready. Mostly I think that was correct although he did take a term or so to find his feet. The older ones did better earlier on but it has pretty much evened out now he is in yr 2.

Thnaks very much everyone for the help.

It does seem that the schools I have applied for all only have one intake and that is September in the year he has turned 4. I don't want to hold him back and have him in a different class from other children his age, I was just thinking about his only starting full-time school when he was 5 and not 4. Where I lived during my school years (in South Africa) you only started school when you were 6. 4 seems so young to me to be away from home all day!

sleepwhenidie, the schools are telling me to get a place he has to start the year he turns 4, not 5 (ie in Sept 2013, as he turns 4 in May 2013).

He is at a very nice nursery now (one day a week, soon to be two days). We are very happy with the nursery he is at and I'm not keen to move him from there until its time for him to go to school.

We are going to go to the open days of all the schools this year, so we will be asking them about this as well.

My DS has mild autism and was born slightly prem. Anyway, he is currently 4 and in reception. With your son's May birthday, I would definitely send him to school when he is 4y4m that September (2013). If you leave it until it is legally required, he will miss most/all of reception and this would put him at a terrible disadvantage socially and academically (as far as I can see from what DS has been doing in reception this year).

You need to look at schools and make sure that they will support him if it turns out to be necessary as he will be slightly younger than average for the year, plus he is a boy. Some private schools are very good for this and some are not, so just ask for a frank answer to this question.

Also, school is a long way off. Some of these tiny prems grow into great big strapping individuals over time. Some stay petite but this is often where the parents are petite anyway so that's fine.

Speak to the admissions dept of the schools about the 'churn' rate from Reception into Year 1 - as someone else mentioned, several have spaces come up in Year 1 when children move out of the area. But some don't - the parents have already had to sell a kidney or a grandparent to get that place!

Don't forget though, you will be paying a registration fee at every school. If money is no object, that won't be a problem, but it might be £100 at every single school you want to register with.

So it's better to go to lots of open days and start to narrow down your selection. Better yet, lots of schools do individual family appointments, which will be far more helpful for trying to identify the right school. You'll get one-to-one time with the head and registrar, and be able to see the bits of the school you're most interested in.

Finally, as others have said, Reception year really isn't that much of a step up from nursery. You say you want him to stay in nursery as long as possible, but don't forget you'd be denying him that first year of building friendships with his year group.

Is it possible to put his name down for the schools you like - and then if he gets a place, and you feel he is not ready, refuse it but ask to remain on the waiting list. you will very likely be near the top. If you have no time pressure you could always turn down the places as they come up until you are ready to send your son? I have done this with one school. I declined entry last year (they have a pre reception year) and have just declined entry again, but have said I will consider entry if a place comes up in a few months time. I have been at the top of the list for a year now, bumped off only by siblings. But I am in a position where I could home school until a place comes up, and I'd quite like to home school, so I feel no great pressure (and until they are seven i think home schooling would not be far off what we do now).

We have twins at my son's pre-prep who were held back a year at the insistence of their parents (August babies who should have been born in the September) - has worked fine (so they started when aged 5 years and 1 month instead of years and 1 month). Having said that, the boy twin towers over my ds1 who is in the "correct" year and who was premature/IUGR and is still tiny, even though there is only a few months between them!

Just bear in mind you might find your ds gets bored at his current nursery - reception is very play-based anyway so he might appreciate the change of scene by then.

Dudesmummy, Pixie has kindly answered your question to me about calendar year/academic year distinction. Also,, to be clear, the twins example given above is extremely rare, usually schools will not contemplate holding a child back from their "proper" school year. when I suggest waiting a year if you feel it is right, I mean skipping reception altogether and joining in year 1. As I said earlier, there are private schools that don't actually start until year 1 anyway. Where are you in the country?

Thnaks again for all the interest. I understand now about the academic year (wasn't thinking properly about the years here, in South Africa an academic year is the same as a normal year ie Jan-Dec).

I am in north London. I have already registered him with 4 schools (yes it was a bit expensive but I have a fear of losing choice later!). I really want him to go to a school, as I did , where he can stay from the beginning to the end of his school years, so that narrows down the choice a bit.

I did ask two of them about the prospect of skipping reception and going straight to Year 1, but I would not be guaranteed a place then as their main intake all appears to be in Reception.

I think, after all the advice here, I at least understand the situation a lot better, so thanks very much indeed.