Night terrors. School nurse likely to be able to help?

[Cazzr]

So, DS who is in Reception (full time since week before xmas has been having some 'issues' at school.. Namely having outbursts of hitting or throwing things about 3 times a week.

Teacher bought it to our attention 2 weeks ago on a Friday pickup asking if there had been anything going on at home because he'd changed a bit that week..

Co-inciding with this DS has also been having night terrors, these are now happening nightly and the past 2 nights he's had 2 a night.

For his behaviour this week the teacher has had a sticker chart where he gets a sticker each day IF he has no sad faces that day.. The end 'prize' was to be able to play with some sort of castle thing with a friend on Friday if he had all 5 stickers.. Monday and Tuesday, fine.. Yesterday 2 sad faces, one for hitting a child , the other for tipping jelly over a classmate (they were preparing food for a teddy bear party due to happen on Friday).

Anyway, discussed what happens now as techically if DS thought about it he has lost his incentive to behave the rest of the week... She said she would have a think.

Now, DS is not being a monster all the time, most of the time he is behaving nicely and getting on well in school, we just want to iron out these outbursts...

Anyway, whilst chatting to the teacher, we again mentioned he was still having the terrors and that they were nightly and that we thought they might be related to after lunch playtime. He'd mentioned a few times about not liking it, "Too many people" and "getting bashed" sorts of phrases but bless him he can't really articulate what he's feeling much so we are kinda grasping at straws a bit. Anyway, we are monitoring the situation and noting when they happen and when he has a bad day etc and said we'd been thinking about a visit to the GP.
We have been 'googling' a lot for advice and have been ensuring he gets to bed by 7 after a nice bath and story to help keep bedtime calm but with no joy. We plan tonight to start trying the 'wake before the night terror method'to see if we can break the cycle a bit but think there must be something bothering him to cause these terrors to happen..
We've even discussed whether it's a 'testosterone surge' beneath it all but we are starting to run out of ideas, bar hoping it'll just go away.

Anyway, i'll end this thread soon, teacher mentioned maybe talking to the school nurse and I don't want to belittle her experience but do you think she'll know enough to be able to offer any advice we've not already thought of?
Part of me thinks the GP might not help much either, but it feels more as if they would be the person to try..
This has been going on for 3 weeks now and terrors have been nightly since last Friday (but had happened on the Monday and Wednesday aswell before that so not particularly infrequent).
We had thought they were linked to when he got sad faces but that theory seems a bit blown out of the water now..
HELP!
well done to anyone who got to the end of this post

Night terrors are not something that a child has any control over.

My dd1 has them sometimes. She last had one when she had a temperature with swine flu. She also had one every night that she was away on school journey (teachers were not too pleased).

Being unsettled often is a trigger for night terrors, but most children do not remember even having a night terror. Please remember that children are actually still asleep when they have a night terror.

So what I am saying in a round about way is that IMO night terrors are not causing your son to be unsettled at school, but may be an outward sign that he is unhappy.

When my dd was your son's age, she often had night terrors with no obvious cause. They have a physical cause, when the normal cycling between REM and non-REM sleep is disrupted, but are not considered to be harmful.

pixie/madsometimes thanks for replying.

Yes, I'm less worried about the terrors having the effect on him, other than maybe being a little more tired, moreso about what could be possibly making him unhappy.
Especially as he seems to be having the problem with outbursts at school too.

The night terrors are more upsetting for us to witness tbh and he never remembers anything, and indeed I never ask him if he remembers (gather this is a no no).

pixie he is clammy when having the terror but usually doesn't have a cover on by then anyway as he is generally a hot bod in bed, usually a fleece is enough for him with only a vest and nappy (no where near dry at night yet but is prompted to have a wee before bed cos he wees so much).
No particular temperature, tho the past 2 days has had a bit of a cough which we have been giving him ibuprofen before bed for.

I guess, if he wasn't having these problems at school I'd be more inclined to say the terrors are a 'phase', but because he has I'm wondering if there is something else going on.

He has had night terrors before but never to this frequency or carrying on for this long. That said the terrors only last about 10 minutes, are usually just the one a night around 9pm but do vary in severity. Usually he's screaming either sat up and kicking his legs about or writhing around on the bed, at his worst he'll scramble about on the bed which has been a bit worrying at times as he's in a high sleeper, albeit with rails.
Our methods to calm him vary from soothing him with our voices, offering a cuddle but not forcing one on him and stroking him back/arm etc.
We know not to get worried about it at the time as he is unaware but it's quite distressing to witness all the same.

We certainly won't be asking the grandparents to babysit for a bit till things settle down.

This may sound a bit crazy to Mums whose children dont have terrors, but op, if you havent tried this then please do as no amount of reassuring will have any impact on a night terror unfortunately.

Make sure that none of your childs limbs are entangled or restrained in any way - the terrors are very scary for the child and often there is something very frightening that they want to get away from (even if they cant tell you this) so if they are accidentally restrained by bedding they may tend to think the "thing" has got them and they will be more frightened. They probably need to move around, we let our son get out of bed as soon as he wants to but have to keep him safe as he acts awake but is not.

We attract our sons attention from the terror by calling his name loudly and very firmly (as if telling off) until he turns and responds. Then you need to get him to tell you what is scaring him. Dont let him start rambling and gibbering madly as he will go right back into the terror. Talk sharply, loudly and firmly to get his attention until you have a rough idea what he is dreaming about.

Once you know or can have a good guess then restate it to him in a very few words until he says yes (ie you have understood what the problem is) eg "it's chasing you and it wants to eat you".

Then using your very very firm adult voice call your childs name again (although they are in a terror you still have very clear parental authority which is really wierd in the grip of a nightmare). When they say yes tell them in a single simple sentence how you have got rid of the "thing". You need to treat it as though it is real, and your solution needs to have realism from a child's point of view only. Eg "Sam! I have told the thing to go. It is not allowed here. Sam! It has gone now. It knows its not allowed. Sam! Did you hear me? It's gone now"

This has to be repeated a few times. My son then acts normal as though he is awake but I know that within a few seconds "thing" will be back and we repeat again until thing doesnt reappear. Then he will drift off to sleep without that dreadful startling awake again as the thing comes back for him.

Sorry so long and hope it helps.

Does your son have swollen tonsils or adenoids ? Our son was finally cured of night terrors when he had tonsils & adenoids out which were causing sleep apnea. The constant waking to catch his breath was disturbing his sleep patterns and leading to night terrors.

It was a horrible time and we were upset that it took us so long to work it out.

You could watch him whilst he's asleep for a while and see if his breathing is disturbed, but maybe best to get his tonsils and adenoids checked out.

Hope this helps

I will bear this in mind Bronwin. As it happens when I was googling last night I found an article talking about the very same thing. I'm not sure this is the case this time, he seems to sleep quite soundly normally and before/after the terror.

On a positive note, tonight we have only had one very short cry out, no terror as such yet and we have moved past his normal terror time..
I was very careful to help him relax in bed tonight, stroking the back of his neck/hairline, which he LOVED and didn't want me to stop but I think it really helped to chill him.
I didn't stay till he was asleep (we've fallen into this trap before) but he certainly complained less than normal when I went downstairs.
Could be a fluke of course but I'm trying to look positively at it.

He also had another good day at school today and therefore another sticker for his chart, which he was VERY proud off.
If he can make it through tomorrow without hitch I've said he can have his car pressie that he picked out last weekend.
If only he'd had a better day at school yesterday, he could have had a 5 day run... :/

treetopsy We have tried the firm voice approach but find this either has no effect or a negative effect on his terror and just raises our stress levels.
He doesn't talk during terrors, just screams and thrashes about and when it ends he literally lies down and is fast asleep again..
The one time he has spoken/moaned whilst asleep was about half an hour after a terror, he was woken through coughing and then mentioned about not liking 'lots of people' and 'getting bashed'. I calmly told him not to worry about it and that mummy would sort it out. He also followed this with saying he didn't want to go to school (which I told him not to worry about again), but when he woke the next morning, he got dressed as normal and went to school with no complaints or hesitation..