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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Parents thoughts needed!! - Parents Evening

40 replies

LauraSmurf · 01/02/2011 21:36

I am a primary school teacher and have been doing the job for nearly 10 years. But i find them quite stressful, i never know what parents would like to know.

I always start by asking if their child is happy. (I feel the most important point to ascertain)
I often find myself talking about levels and general statements about their work but get little back from parents.

Genuinely want to know!! I am not a parent myself (working on it!) so i have only one side of the story. I want to be a better teacher! So be as brutal as you like. I prefer blunt!

(Braces self!!)

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IndigoBell · 01/02/2011 21:52

What I want to know is diff for each of my kids

I guess I want more info on is their weakest area, which in my case can be behaviour, social, or academic....

But what I want most (although I think I might not be representative) is for you not to talk in euphamisms but to tell me what you want to say.

What I don't want to hear is 'DDs doing well and is making good progress' - unless you really, really mean it.

I find teachers are always very positive, always tell me my kids are doing well and making progress (even when they're clearly not) and are just in general always too positive.

But I think a lot of other parents like teachers to be ridiculously postive .

I'd like you to be 'balanced'. Tell me something nice, but also tell me the bad stuff.

MigratingCoconuts · 01/02/2011 21:55

I am a teacher and went to my first parents evening as a parent last year!
I wanted to know that my dd's experiences/progress were 'normal'

Being a secondary school teacher I have no idea about what a 5 year old might be expected to do.

I wanted to know how I could help with her work.

I also wanted to feel that the teachers had a sense of what her particular strengths and skills are. After all, she is my very precious little girl and my heart goes out to her every day.

hope that helps

Original poster

LauraSmurf · 01/02/2011 21:55

Thank you! I have had problems in the past for not using euphamisms! ( i am a bit blunt! )

Do you really care about levels? (Do you even think about them?)

OP posts:

crazygracieuk · 01/02/2011 21:56

I love hearing anecdotes about my kids like funny or kind acts (luckily my kids are well behaved at school so not bad behaviour!!)

I am interested in who they socialise with and what their friendships are like as my preconceptions are based on playdates and what my children share with me at home.

I like hearing about my child's strengths, weaknesses and interests and how to support and encourage them. These can be academic or social issues.

I always ask about what they will be learning in the next few weeks and about events like school trips if they are coming up.

pointythings · 01/02/2011 21:56

Agree with IndigoBell.

I also like to see that the teacher knows my child - I once described my elder DD as a drama queen to her Yr2 teacher and the look I got was 'Thank goodness you said it because now I don't have to and we can get on with doing something about it'.

Obviously you have to be careful with your phrasing when being honest, but unless parents are very PFB they do really want to know.

1234ThumbWar · 01/02/2011 21:56

I'd like teachers to talk to me the way anyone else would, so say 'he's great at maths, but a bit behind on spelling'. I find everything is said in such politically correct terms that you have to read between the lines.

I'd also like to know what we can do at home to support the dc's.

CarGirl · 01/02/2011 21:56

I want to know if my child is happy or not at school and whether they do have friends.

I want to know their strengths and weaknesses and what they need to work on.

I want to know how they conduct themselved in class and the playground!

magicmummy1 · 01/02/2011 21:59

I'd be very pleased if the teacher asked me first if dd was happy. Apart from that, I like the teacher to give a general update on how dd is doing - strengths, weaknesses, targets & anything we need to help her with at home; how she behaves in class; how she is doing socially, as well as academically; and it's lovely to hear about things like p.e., music and art as well as the more obvious stuff like reading, maths etc.

More than anything, I just want to feel that the teacher really knows (and hopefully likes!) my child and that they are doing their best to cater to her specific needs. It's a good chance for me to meet the teacher and thank her for all her hard work. And it's nice to be reassured that everything is going well!

Oh, and I love it when teachers have little anecdotes to share about what my dd is like in school. Most parents love to talk about their offspring, and will probably be delighted to hear whatever you have to say!

pointythings · 01/02/2011 21:59

Laura,

Personally I love blunt. I'm Dutch, we practically invented blunt.

But I can see why other people might find it hard to deal with.

I don't want to know about levels. You can put those in a printout to take home (which our school does - a little table with expected level for age, predicted level by end of term, progress since whenever). If DC is below expected, cue to find a sensible strategy to deal with it. If not, focus on behaviour, personality, strengths and weaknesses and suggested (very practical) things that can help.

MigratingCoconuts · 01/02/2011 21:59

At present, I couldn't give a stuff about levels...they seem meaningless to me.

happiness, a joy of learning, good friendships

these are more important

Love the comments about straight talking..yes, that is so true

Original poster

LauraSmurf · 01/02/2011 22:00

Thank you all so so much, this is great!

I have always thought pretty much as you are saying, but we have been encouraged to have levels, facts and figures to hand for this weeks parent's evening.But the consensus seems to be that figures aren't what you want!

THANK YOU!!

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 01/02/2011 22:02

I do want to know levels as well.

My experience is that teachers are very happy to share levels when your child is doing well - but very reluctant when they're not

I had a terrible IEP meeting this week because I hadn't realised that between July and Sep they'd downgraded DD 2 sublevels. At the Sep parent teacher meeting they hadn't thought to mention that

However a lot of parents don't understand levels, so I think you also need to make sure you use language like 'average', 'above average' etc, etc.

crazygracieuk · 01/02/2011 22:02

I definitely want to hear the truth- I can handle comments like my child is average or struggling. If my child is struggling please tell me so that I can support learning at home.

magicmummy1 · 01/02/2011 22:04

x posts with everyone else! I said that it's nice to be reassured that things are going well, but I should have made it clear - I only want you to tell me that things are going well if they really are!

crazygracieuk · 01/02/2011 22:07

Agree with Indigobell about levels. I want to know current level, expected level for end of the year and have levels explained to me.
If my child has plateaued or gone backwards then please tell me. I am willing to work with school.

Original poster

LauraSmurf · 01/02/2011 22:09

I should probably explain that my school has a notice to improve from ofsted and so we are being encouraged to use lots of facts, figures and jargon at this meeting. Presumably to 'tick the communication box'.

I have always started with, "Is your child happy" and followed up with here is x strengths and weaknesses.

So i should ignore the school line and stick to the truth and common sense approach!

OP posts:

magicmummy1 · 01/02/2011 22:09

I think it's nice to have levels, perhaps on a bit of paper to take home as someone else suggested. But that's not why I go to see the teacher! Levels could be e-mailed to me; a conversation is much more personal, and hearing the teacher talk about my dd as a person, rather than a set of numbers, is infinitely more important to me.

MerryMarigold · 01/02/2011 22:11

My ds1 is only in Reception, but at parents' evening and on reports I like to see that the teacher knows him as an individual. Not the blah blah generic stuff which is a bit meaningless. Actually our parents evening this year was brill. His teacher has been teaching for 20 years. She was really positive but also quite honest about what he struggles with. She described him as 'buoyant' (rather than boisterous ) and needs to learn how to be more structured without changing his personality. I felt like she really liked him (maybe she just conveyed that) even though he may not be 'easy' to teach. I'd love to have every parents' evening where I feel the teacher likes my child - even if it's not true, it's very reassuring!

MmeLindt · 01/02/2011 22:13

I love it when a teacher says, "Your DD is very creative, her drawing of the mountains that she did last week was great", or "your DS can be stubborn but he is well thought of and enjoys playing with his friend, X".

Not just blablabla school work blablabla general blablabla.

It is great when I get the feeling that the teacher knows my child - and can share a little story or something that I might not know.

pointythings · 01/02/2011 22:14

What magicmummy said.

I also think that levels can be a stick parents beat people with - not least themselves. If there's a real concern that a child is struggling, a 10-minute slot on parents' evening isn't really the time to address that - the slot should then serve as a time to alert the parents, suggest an action plan and possibly arrange a longer 1 to 1 meeting as well.

LauraSmurf, you sound like you're caught in the middle a bit, but your heart is definitely in the right place. By all means have the stats ready but please, please can the jargon. Parents don't need to be blinded with words, they need real information.

MmeLindt · 01/02/2011 22:14

XP with MerryMarigold on the blablablaness of Parents Evenings.

Original poster

LauraSmurf · 01/02/2011 22:14

Ancedotes are a problem! I would never finish! The kids in my class are hilerious and i am frequently in tears laughing!

(Example i teach year 5/6 and we are doing the highwayman as a topic and today during dance we were doing the part of the story where bess adn highwayman meet up but don't touch.)

Cue ballroom dancing and blowing kisses (in a class of blokely boys i was laughing and so happy they are willing to go there!)

OP posts:

MerryMarigold · 01/02/2011 22:20

You sound like a lovely teacher, Laura, who actually ENJOYS it. As long as you get some of that across too. And a couple of anecdotes could take 60 seconds. Like how long it took to read the bit about the Highway Men!

nancythenaughtyfairy · 01/02/2011 22:26

I definitely like to hear an anecdote about my child, whether it is an academic one or a more personal one.

At DD's last parents' evening (secondary), a couple of teachers said "I really like Chardonnay, she's bla, bla and bla" - I liked the fact they genuinely seemed interested in her as a person and made that clear before talking about achievements.

I've heard that a "negative sandwich" is a good idea for tricky individuals ie. start with a positive, followed by the moan and end on a positive.

(Names have been changed)

Feenie · 01/02/2011 22:26

What makes you think they don't touch? He kisses her hair!

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