8 year old son and new bad

[janelikesjam]

Hi everyone,

I have a delightful 8 year old son who has recently started to develop a bit of an "attitude" at home, sarcasms, disrespectful, etc.

This is pretty new as he's always been pretty well balanced I would say.

I am wondering how much of it is due to the normal development of an 8 year old boy, pushing boundaries, getting bolshy etc - and how much is due to the influence of school? He goes to an inner city school and I am wondering does he copy some of his peers' behaviour?

If its the "school" and in particular the "area" the school is in, obviously this is not a situation that is going to improve. Have people moved because of this issue?

If its normal "boy" development at this age, perhaps people could advise me?

I am pretty concerned and puzzled by this new behaviour.

I should add, in other ways my son is still a kind and lovely kid and also, that I am a single parent.

Any insights gratefully received.

I think this is all pretty normal and happens in every school.

Is he in Y3 or Y4?

All the little angels in the infants become 'stronger willed' in the juniors....

Y3!

Interesting what you say ...

Jane - completely normal but you can always find out from the teacher how he is in class and in the playground.

Mine has been like this since year 1 tbh and it was a completely hormonal thing - well that and a mixture of trying out some things he has heard at home in a 'safe' environment.

have you got a copy of 'how to talk'? Very helpful - also using non verbal communication with ds - so drawing how he feels or writing it down and you telling him how his talking to you in that way makes him feel.

You can always go hardline on it but it didnt work in this house.

Thanks. Yes, I have tried touchy-feely and I did try hardline - neither made much difference! Is it best to "go round" it?

I think if it continues for another few weeks I will have talk to his teacher.

My concern is - he's only 8! I have another 8 years stretching out before us ....:).

I think some of it is a question of developing "will", which is not altogether a bad thing. But I do also feel there is an undercurrent of "attitude" which I am more concerned about.

In my experience it seems to be a common developmental process for our DCs to challenge the boundaries by using behaviour and language that is unacceptable to us. I would say that in many cases this is learned from their peer group at school.

I tend to reinforce the standards that we expect from DS. If he breaches the standards there are consequences and we always follow them through!!

Children need strong boundaries and they need to know that the home and the playground are very different environments with different rules..... it's a difficult lesson but it sounds like you are giving the right guidance. Stay strong and be proud of your standards!!

Thanks!

In fact thats one of my boring mantras! "This is home, I'm your mum, not school playground or your mates".

Just watching to see if/how this is going to make a difference.