Children who are always late for school

[RoadArt]

OK, I am following on from the holiday in term time post and a valid point that someone has just raised about the message we are portraying to our kids that its ok to take time out of school and how this will affect their mind set when they are older and they will think its ok when they are working.

On this point, I am amazed at the number of parents who allow their children to be late to school, some every day, others maybe once/twice a week. It tends to be the same parents, the same excuses and the children get marked in the late register every day.

Isn't this just as bad? Its disruptive for the teacher/class when a child walks in late, and it teaches the child that its ok to be late, so as they get older, they never meet their friends on time, they get a job but dont arrive on time - because mum said was ok when they were little.

Timekeeping is really important, so why do parents think its ok for their children to be late to school on a regular basis?

There is no excuse for a child to be late for school. Everyone knows the starting time.

I have 2 dd's at one school; 1 ds at another, about 2 miles apart. One school starts at 8.30, the other at 8.40. Children are not allowed to be left unsupervised in the playground before the school bell rings.
The traffic between the two schools in the morning is very unpredictable, sometimes it only takes 5 minutes, sometimes it is barely moving and takes 20 minutes.
With the best will in the world I cannot sometimes get all 3 dcs to school on time, unless I use breakfast clubs, which I would have to pay extra for.

That must be so hard to have children in different schools, I could not do it as I do not drive. It would mean that one of them would have to be over 1/2 hour late every morning if staying in the school they are now with a sibling in the clossest one. My heart goes to all of you who have to go through that stress every morning!

stressheaderic - how sad! I used to be a secondary teacher and I didn't mind the one's who apologised and went to their seat, but its the ones who barched in, made a show of themselves and disruptend the whole class. It was usually always the same ones who managed to be late to most lessons - wonder where they got their attitude from?

We live 2 miles from the dd's school. I don't drive. DH works shifts, so when he is on the late shift he can take the kids to school in the car and they will be on time. When he is on the early shift we have to get 2 buses to school. The buses are unpredictable and come at various times. So as a result my dds are late 2 maybe 3 times a fortnight. By late it's rarely any more than 4-5 minutes late.

I don't like it but there's not a lot I can do about it really, I can't control the buses if they don't run to their timetable, and we already leave before 8am to give us plenty of time.

This morning I was ready to leave 5 minutes early and discovered... a puncture on the 3 wheel buggy. Took 5 minutes to transfer everything (bags and toddler) to another buggy that didn't even have a cozy toes set up on it ok, put the punctured one away, etc. Blech.

We made it okay, but only by a minute.

I could start a blog about things that make me late every day (sigh).

I have 4 dc's and it can be chaos getting ready in the morning. There is something to be said for the smug feeling you get when passing parents with 1 dc on your way back from dropping off 3 and on way to drop off dc4 at playgroup. There is one persistant late arrival that judges how late she is by how far I have got from the school . If people could only see the mad rushing and shouting, that seems to be the daily routine, that it takes to achieve this...actually no, I like looking like I'm super organized coz I'm sooo not!

I still think, unless it's exceptional circumstance, of course (which might be every day ones) - I get there on time (since I work there, on time is 8 o'clock). I am a mum (albeit of one child, but when we have had another one staying over during the week, I'm still on time).

There are in my exp always 2-3 persistently late with no travel/difficult circs who will be late. And blase about it. And feel p*ssed off if you mention it.

Just underlines to me how much some people have no respect for the job we do in schools and think that school (esp primary) is very low status/unimportant.

I said to one dad - "Can we have a chat at some point about X as he is late so often - I wondered if there was a reason?". I said it very politely, and I was friendly - he said, and I quote, "I am not going to rush his breakfast! If he hasn't finished, I will bring him in when he has eaten properly".

Brilliant. I don't like rushing my breakfast either. So if I'm not finished at eight o'clock, the school can wait for me.

we live 200 yards from school.

i have 3 dcs. the girls are on time every day. ds is late every day.

he is seeing the school counsellor. he's trialling adhd meds.

his teacher told me to let the natural consequences happen (being late) as he would then have to deal with the fall-out.

ds can not carry out any part of his routine without supervision. if i leave the room for a second, he stops. he is distractible in the extreme. he takes years to eat. he won't eat certain types of bread (varies by day) he won't drink certain types of milk. he has to sit on the toilet for ten minutes after breakfast as he soils and wets during the day. he doesn't get dressed unless you wathc him. he doesn't clean his teeth unless you stand and refuse to leave, then he won't clean them if you watch him. if you walk off he stands and runs his hands under the water. for hours. until you come back and scream at thim for not cleaning his teeth.

believe me, if i could get him to school on time, i would.

i rarely get breakfast, as i'm too busy following ds around to make sure he doesn't grind to a halt somewhere along the process.

i love him dearly, but some days i'd willingly put a rocket under him.

he's very clever though. the counsellor has just worked out that he's adept at using distraction techniques to get away from the subject at hand...

I have one a bit like that, too, Madwoman!!
Not on meds for ADHD, but I reckon "on the spectrum" for that condition.
And yet some days DS will do most things as asked or off his own back, all up until a point and then he loses it completely (not very predictable).

Catnao - am at that fathers reply. FFS - most people have to 'rush' their breakfast at least 5 days a week....or just get up earlier. I would find it v difficult to remain polite after that one!

Can schools fine parent's for the children being late for school ???????????

We used to be late, we aren't anymore, Mum's time keeping is useless DD2's isn't. Since her sister started secondary school she's organised me.

I know that similar has already been said by Peachy but please do take a moment to think before you judge.

We are rarely late but we are sometimes.

Ds suffers from anxiety and depression. No one at school who didn't know us well would know or realise this and wouldn't know what ds has gone through trying to pluck up the courage to go to school in the morning. He appears happy and smiley but inside he is terrified.

On those days we can be late or we need to drive to make it in time. (I have been scowled at for driving to school as well).

I know we are in the minority but do keep it in mind before you judge please.

I have never been late to school.My DS school is 20minute walk from home.I always leave at 8.30 to reach school by 8.50 just in time for door opens.I have talked to my son about time keeping and how it is important.He sometimes ask me boys and girls come through main door after the class room is closed.I cannot find him a right answer for that.

I don't think it is a major deal being a few minutes late to school on rare occasions as things can happen with traffic and kids etc (we have not been late yet though) but there is a family at DS1s school who are regularly late by up to half an hour. This is a few times a week, sometimes every day.

Again like someone else has said, if I say to DS to hurry up and get his coat on or whatever he says its ok to be late - so and so is late everyday and she doesn't get told off (no nut her parents probably do!).

We had family learning one day and the teacher read the class a book at about 9.10 then at 9.30 we went off to complete a task about the book the children had been read, the little girl turned up at 9.25 so had missed everything and was really upset as she didn't know what to do. This was in Year R and as there is only a small amount of really structured learning, often in the mornings this poor girl is missing so much.

Unfortunately lateness is my pet hate, my DH and his sister have always been late for everything and it really winds me up, I actually get quite stressed if I think we might be late - apparently I'd need not bother as noone else seems to care amongst my friends as they are always late for everything, I just think its really rude, I know sometimes things happen but more often than not they don't!

oh and I know the parents of this girl and there really isn't any reason for them to be late, they live in the same road as the school and are just unorganised. They are actually lovely lovely people.

I think we are all a bit late to this thread its over 13 months old

Not again! That is twice in 2 days that has happened to me. What is going on?

I used to be late every day, I had 2 children at 2 different primary schools that both started at 9am. They were only 3 miles apart but the traffic and parking awful.

I used to drive to the furthest one and leave the eldest one, we were allowed to leave them unsupervised in the playground at 8.55. Drag the reception child back to the car, asking him not to pick up every stone along the way. Drive back to our house, leave the car and walk 5 mins to the other school. There was nowhere to park outside the school.

I don't think being late is the worst thing in the world.

Being late for a 'good reason' is not really the problem. It is the persistantly late for no other reason than they 'just are', are the problem. All the lates add up. Just as being off school for minor reasons adds up. In the end, that's a whole lot of schooling lost. And then the parents wonder why their kids are behind everyone else.

GAH with the bloody zombie threads. Stoppit now.

Most people seem to be on time at school. However, one thing that amazes me is how important what a small minority does seem to be. I live close to school, my kids get up very early, they have no particular needs. And I work full time so we are always there when the door opens.
Like 95% parents we are on time. It seems to be some kind of obsession of our society to deal with the exceptions. It does not bother me. I do not think the 2 or 3 kids who are many times late in my children's classes are seing by them as 'an example'. I do not think they are a major disturbance in their day. They are really not that relevant, not even as evidence that we are 'better' than them.

It's sad to see a group of the same kids, maybe 5 or 6 of them, day after day, looking around at pick up time for their parents. Most of them just go and sit on the little wall in the playground, resigned to the fact that their lift/walk home will always be later than everyone else's, who's parents get there on time. It makes me sad to see their faces - who wants to hang around school for another 10/15 mins, they just want to go home. Why the hell should the teachers take responsibility for late pick ups? Those parents should be billed for wrap around care when it happens on an almost daily basis.

It's the same late arrivals that are late to be picked up as well. The same parents who forget school finishes half an hour early one day a week. The same kids who's parents forget it's a mufti day.

Disclaimer - obviously there are valid reasons for some, that's not up for argument.