Languishing at back of class

[houseofboys]

The title sums this up - my DH and I are at our wits end over DS in yr 3. He is quite shy, and though everyone says he is bright, he is just, well, languishing. He's a brilliant reader but apart from that seems to sit on bottom table for everything. Everyone seems to agree that it isn't quite right because he is articulate and bright, (apparent from one to one conversations and reading) but don't know what to do. He hates being singled out, thinks doing well in something is boastful or showing off and says he tries hard but by all accounts chooses to sit at back and, teachers think, just daydream in group sessions. Its been the same since yr 2, though in his SATs he had 2bs in most, 3 in reading, so he's not failing. Feel like we are going round in circles with this. Does he need to be pushed or is it ridiculous to worry about a 7 year old not being motivated? I'm just worried he's on this track and chooses to stay there because its easy. Its strange though because he is sitting with children who aren't his pals and are where they are because they have identified needs, while his own friends are actually quite high achievers. If this sounds normal or familiar to anyone do say! Honestly am going round in circles.... btw his 5 yr old brother is the opposite, very motivated and desperate to please already, so its not a family trait!

My son (9) is the same

His concentration has always been an issue, and even if he is praised or does good work it doesnt seem to matter to him

Have you spoken to teacher about ways of engaging him more effectively?

Spoke to head after very ineffectual chats with his teacher. She has said she will investigate but we've been here before with his previous teacher and it always comes back with 'he needs to show what he can do' which doesn't provide much help, really!

My eldest daughter 9 has been on the top table her whole school life and the kids on it have never changed. My middle daughter 6 cant read etc (possibly dyslexic) so is on the bottom table. I dont agree with tables, they should be mixed. Its just labelling the kids.

It might be worth thinking about ADD? It doesn't always go with hyperactivity and challenging behaviour. From my observations, children with ADD can find it practically impossible to focus for more than a few seconds. It's like there is a "loose connection" in the brain that switches it off after a few seconds and they lose what they were doing/thinking. This could look like daydreaming in a busy classroom. Is he able to focus on work for 10-15 minutes if you are sitting with him one-on-one?

How is his handwriting? Children with dyspraxic problems can be very bright but find real difficulty in getting things down on paper.

I'm not saying that your dc has either of these by the way, just wondering whether they rang any bells/might be worth investigating further.

Yes, it has been suggested he may have very mild dyspraxia though his teacher says it won't affect his grades but does affect him in PE (though I did wonder if this assessment was a misunderstanding of it - it might stop him trying to do more than the minimum?) As for ADD, I don't know much about it, but he can read a whole Harry Potter book in one go so know he can concentrate on things he likes! Thanks though :)

You could get a proper assessment for dyspraxia done by a child Occupational Therapist. You can ask your GP to refer you. This might give you a clearer idea of how much he might have a problem and whether any therapeutic interventions might help. Dyspraxia is more that a problem with physical co-ordination. It can affect thought processing and social skills for example too.

Some teachers are fantastic and are well up on what issues a child might have. Others tbh aren't and can make a sweeping statement of "oh that's not a problem" when actually it later turns out that it is! If it is his school that have suggested he has "mild dyspraxia" but he hasn't had any professional assessments, it might be worth pursuing maybe.

It is of course possible that he is just a laid back individual that doesn't really want to be bothered with doing more than the minimum, but my first reaction would be to see if this was a learned response to any particular difficulty. In my experience most children do actually want to do well underneath it all.

My ds(9) was exactly like this at that age(7), he also felt that it was very boastful to always contribute in class or stand out(I put it down to shyness) but at the same time used to complain about how the work was boring and he knew everything. I sat him down and said only he could change the situation he was in by showing that he understood more and by participating more in class. That seemed to do it! He is now top of the class! Hth

Of course some children are just that way

Is it numeracy he is zoning out of?

Also try Omega Fish Oil. Get one with a really high DHA.

I also think research ADD-Predominantly Inattentive if he is doing a lot of day dreaming (at school and at home).

Putting children on the bottom table so young is all wrong in my opinium if you get nowhere with the school id think of looking for another school Its so hard to convince children on the bottom table it doesnt mean their stupid and not to give up .My daughter was moved down to the bottom table age 6 and it was the worst thing that could have happened then .She is doing a levels now though The bottom table then meant this is the group of about 6 children i think it was who will not now have the opportunities of the rest of the children in a class of 37 children So to her distress they were not allowed to attempt to write stories like the others who were constantly asking for words they couldnt spellanyway .No this little group were given a few sentences to copy if they could motivate themselves now their self esteem had been crushed

It takes me ages to write anyway she got good gcses and is doing alevels in science despite primary school telling me i needed to accept she would never even do gcses The others in the no hopers group well a few more well beat children on the top table the
n alot of the so called clever ones then didnt end up doing well at high school atall My daughter couldnt understand why she was only allowed to copy sentences as she used to say i can do that she had no problem writing it was just spelling
in year 4 eventually assessed for dyslexia yes she was she was given then supposed help with a teachilng assistant which consisted of missing assembly which she didnt want to miss with two other girls who couldnt read and being told to say the vowels over and over again .As she used to say she knew what the vowels were perhaps the others didnt If i could go back id have moved her to a smaller more caing school i just kept thinking she would get the help she never had any behavioral problems if she had had she would have got one to one .Yes her spelling is still bad even worse than mine actually much worse

I totally agree, this is happening with my middle daughter and she feels singled out. The kids know whos on the top table and whos on the bottom. In my opinion it totally knocks their confidence. When my eldest daughter started school (who has always been on the top table), i was horrified then that the children were put into groups. She has been school councillor 2 years in a row and its time to change again. Their homwork is to write a speech about why she would like to be a councillor and read it out on Monday in front of the class. Great, no problem for my eldest but not so good for somone who can barely read or write. She is given completely different work from her friends. What makes it worse is on the bottom table there is only her and 3 boys and shes only 6 and quite girly. I can just picture her staring longingly at the tables the girls sit on. It just isnt helping her at all.

I partly wonder if the teachers teaching style suits your sons learning style? If the two don't over lap he probably wouldn't be stimulated in class.

My child got 3's in his year 2 sats (with the exception of maths) but still sits on the middle table as the whole class is so able and he is a plodder who takes his time to do anything. I don't think he is lazy, just very reflective and doesn't have very good fine motor skills (never liked art, writing or using sizzors). He would love to be on the top table but at the same time hates people being competative or showing off. I've just stated him on Maths-Whizz to give him more maths confidence and help him a bit. It's been great so far and much cheaper than a tutor.

For most lessons teachers are asked to differentiate the work three ways and children usually know who is doing the harder work, and who has the easier work, regardless of where they sit.

For me as a teacher, in lessons like maths and english where I am asked to focus on one group during the lesson while the TA supports another group, it makes sense to have them sit in these groups already. It's not always the lower ability group getting the support though.