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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

playdates

11 replies

Feelingsensitive · 26/01/2011 18:15

DD has been invited to another girls house form her class for tea and a play next week. I know the mum to talk to at the gates. Shoudl I just let her get picked up from school and then collect or am I meant to go with her. DD is in reception and aged 5? I am sure she woudl be fine without me. Just not sure what the 'done' thing is!

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Original poster

Feelingsensitive · 26/01/2011 18:15

typos!!

OP posts:

SandStorm · 26/01/2011 18:21

I would relish the opportunity of not having to do the school run but then when my child was that age I knew all the other mums very well as it's a small school so it was never an issue.

LB29 · 26/01/2011 18:57

I would ask the mum if it was ok if i went roung for a cup of tea. After the first time i would then feel happy to let her go alone.

Lamorna · 26/01/2011 19:14

It depends entirely on your DD and if she is happy, I wouldn't expect to have the mother at that age unless the DD had real problems leaving her.

Lamorna · 26/01/2011 19:16

My idea of the play date is that the DCs amuse each other and I get on so I wouldn't be keen on having the mother.

Flowergarden1 · 26/01/2011 19:25

No, I wouldn't expect to go unless DC was nervous or wanted me to go (which he never does - he loves going to friends' houses on his own).

Hulababy · 26/01/2011 19:30

I have always just let DD go straight from school without me. Likewise I never had other parents come with their child here. Many did pop in for a drink and chat on collecting their child later on though.

rickymummy · 26/01/2011 19:33

Ask the other mum. My DS was nervous at first, and when we started playdates, I used to drop him off. I suspect my second boy (starts Reception this September) will leap straight in, and go straight from school. Now, we usually pick up from school, play, tea, and other mum picks up around 5.30-5.45pm.

Original poster

Feelingsensitive · 26/01/2011 20:35

I was going to just let her go as she is happy with this. Its just that a firend commented thats he would want to go at least the first time to make sure everything was OK. Not exactly sure what he meant but think he meant the parent themselves. Seemed a bit paranoid to me. Thanks all.

OP posts:

janet41 · 26/01/2011 21:14

hi i am finding there are two distinct groups - the first never let the child go alone, and see a playdate as very much a time for the moms/dads get together; the other group relish not doing the school run and usually come in for a coffee (or wine) at pick up. So we do it both ways depending on what the other parent wants. I think generally the first time if you dont know the family well you might want to join in

DownyEmerald · 26/01/2011 21:24

Ask the other mum. Ask your dd. I had a playdate arranged for dd. I assumed that people expected a Reception child would go by themselves so I really tried to persuade dd who didn't want to (why did I do that?). Anyway, turned out the mum had assumed I would go. So all right in the end but lots of anxiety caused by me being silly about people's assumptions etc.

Thing I do find a bit weird is that you talk quite a lot over a couple of hours and then next day in the playground it's like you're back at square one hardly knowing these people.

But that's just me, obviously.

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