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Is my dd settling, or should I be worried?

4 replies

KitKins · 11/01/2011 23:09

Hi, I know someone else has posted on this, but it didn't seem right to hijack their thread, and mine is a long rant so ....

I too am having concerns about how my dd is settling at school.

She started in September and moved up from a small and very calm and caring pre-school to a rather large slighty inhuman and chaotic (due to the size I think) primary. She has always been one of those children that 'can't remember' what they've been doing. I used to help out at her pre-school once a week and even on those days she couldn't remember and told me she'd done 'nothing.' For the first half-term or so she suffered with night terrors, always does when she is overtired, but they seem to be settling down now. Last term I was called at home by the teacher and told that dd had thrown a teary wobbly at school everyday for almost two weeks over her sandwich contents! (which she chose the night before I might add!) And then the other day I waited to make sure she got into class and watched her have a lovely laugh with a little boy at book table, only for her to sit down on the mat next to a little girl who started to push and hit her away from her. Another child saw me watching outside and went to tell dd so she could wave at me! The hitting girl looked horrified and I gave her my best evil stare, but dd waved and blew kisses as gleefully as ever. However, when she went to sit back down on the mat she sat on her own, away from all the others.

Today she came home with a hole in her tights. Her and hitting girl had been playing and hitter pushed her down. I asked why and was told it was part of the game. So I asked if she pushed anyone else, to which I was told; 'No, just me as I was the naughty one!'

There have been many other negative incidences, but the teacher claims that she is not aware of any problems and dd seems to be settling well.

My dd is sensitive and I could see she could be taken advantage of by stronger personalities. She is also not good in crowd situations and tends to get a bit nervous and she is one of 60 (two classes).

So, my question to all of you is; Should i just hold in there for a while longer, or do you think there is more to this than just and overprotective, slightly neurotic mum?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
WimpleOfTheBallet · 11/01/2011 23:57

I wouldn't be that happy that the school took almost two weeks to let me know about the teary wobbly..but to be honest I don't thnk the rest sounds really unusual sadly.

Big schools in my opinion tend to overlook things which smaller ones might not...I think your DD will be fine..but you should try to help her understand about what's ok in a game and what is not.

If "Hitty Girl" and DD seem to play tgether a lot...you may want to try and help DD to mix in more...ask her if there is anyone she would like to have home for tea...this really helps bond them...my DD took a good while to settle with some similar hiccups and playdates after school helped a lot.

Role play with DD about how to manage bullies pushy kids...

"I'll be Zoe and you be you...now... YOU GO OVER THERE!"

and DD will respond...then you can swap roles and show DD some good tactics for various situations...it worked great with my DD who laughed her socks off at me being picked on.

Also encourage DD to tell the teacher if someone pushes her...quieter kids are wary of this at times.

I think it wil pan out if you help DD build her confidence...my DD is now in year 2 and unrecognisable from the child she once was.

KitKins · 12/01/2011 11:38

Thank you Wimple. To be honest I think she will be fine, I just need some reassurance, which you have given me. The role play is a good idea and I tried something similar the other day, but one of my other problems is that the bubbly little girl who would not shut up stop talking at home now barely says a word and when she does it is generally to be rude to me or shout at her little brother and she just would not entertain playing a game with me! A friend told me not to worry too much about that it's probably down to school exhaustion. I will hang on in there.

She has today been invited to a birthday party so that's a good sign and things i'm sure will improve, it's just a matter of time.

Thank you.

OP posts:
WimpleOfTheBallet · 12/01/2011 15:37

I agree about the exhaustion...mine was shattered and acted very crazily when she got home after being god all day.

The Birthday Party invite is good...she'll get more..and then in two or three years it;ll be totally different!

WimpleOfTheBallet · 12/01/2011 15:38

Whoops...being GOOD...not being God!

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