Social reasons - any chance?

[oboyoboyoboy]

I'm finishing off my application for my ds to start reception in September. I have two main social reasons for wanting a particular school.

It's the closest to the nursery that my one year old twins attend and I'm a single working mum - anything else and the day in day out logistics of dropping off and picking up would be a nightmare.

And second the children are all donor conceived and I'm bisexual and want a socially progressive school which will help them understand and feel confident about the way they were conceived, my sexuality (and any future partners I might have) and protect them from bullying.

I'm confident this school is the right place after having frank conversations as I've gone round all the schools. However it's very oversubscribed and we don't live close enough.

My dilemma is - do I just put this school and the social reasons (I have supporting letters from nursery and homestart) or do I put others as back up, which in my view undermines a bit the fact I'm saying any others wouldn't work for our family.

Any advice would be really welcome.
Thanks

but you want prefential treatment based on your sexuality. no school would allow homophobia/racism etc.

the situation with the nursery etc and getting kids to and from school etc i can understand but still although that is difficult it does not make you a higher priority for a place as many parents will be in that situation.

dont get me wrong i do partly understand your problems (iam a single parent of 3 disabled children so do not have it easy myself) but i really fail to see how it makes a difference at primary age what school your child goes to based on your sexuality??

my children were brought up for 7 years with myself, my mum and sister and although this was a family setting it was still essentially a same sex household and no other child ever said anything to my dd about it, children really dont care at that age, they are accepting and tolerant of pretty much everything so i just cant see why your sexuality and the method of your childs conception should give any priority over school place.

sorry, preferential

to be honest I am totally exhausted at the moment with twins not sleeping, lots of illness and trying to keep my head above water at work and I came on here for some advice re school place, which I've got - thanks everyone for the helpful advice, it really has been useful.

I think I've explained myself clearly re the sexuality / donor conceived issue and why it's important and you can read the report to understand more about how some schools do not deal with homophobia appropriately.

I'm sorry, ariane5, that you don't get it but I really don't have the energy to justify or explain further.

thats fine, its just my opinion nothing personal at all, we all have problems and difficulties but coming on here with them you have to expect that not everybody will agree with you

As others have said, the LEA is highly unlikely to award places based on convenience of dropping off other children at nursery, as this really would be stretching the definition of 'social need' and hundreds of families would want to claim the same privilege. All schools should have anti-bullying and equal opportunities/diversity policies and, again, your sexuality isn't likely to fit within the LEA's definition of 'social need'.

Naming just one school is a risky, maybe even foolhardy, strategy. It will not boost your chances of getting a place if your child does not fulfil the school's admissions criteria and could backfire very badly if you are allocated a place in a school miles away. Hassling or haranguing the LEA is pointless, too: places are awarded according to the admissions criteria, not who shouts loudest.

You need to look at other schools and make some sensible choices. Once places are allocated, you can join as many waiting lists as you choose.

I have actually sat on an appeal panel in very similar situations to what you asking about. The LA will argue long and hard at any appeal that any school will be an appropriate place for your child as they all have to abide by the equality legislation.

Now I am not stupid enough to believe that completely but when it comes to the panel making a decision the reality is that this will not be a social reason that will have any impact and give you any priority, just as the LA will give you no priority.

You need to readjust your preferences to take into consideration your other priorities and these seem to be about distance and ease of access. Please accept the advice that putting down a single school is a massive mistake and I would actually put down the nearest school to your home as the last preference just to try and make sure that you do get allocated a place at a nearby school.

Totally agree. We wanted to send our son to a school with other lesbian parents and good policies to deal with homophobia, but there is no way to use that as a social reason - it would come across as undermining diversity. Unless a school actually told you they would not be able to handle your family situation. BUt you must put down feasible options; I know plenty of people in our borough who ended up with a choice of the 6 unpopular schools at the other end of the borough because they only put down the three favourites, which they weren't realistically close enough to.

thanks - I am busy making my list :)

Just thought of something that MIGHT help. I know people who have argued successfully that they want their twins in separate classes meaning that they have been allocated a two class entry school instead of a single entry one. Our last school in the UK had a high level of twins for whom it wasn't their closest school as the majority of the other local schools were single entry.

The point about twins being in separate classes will only help (if it does at all - it wouldn't in our LEA, unless there was something to show that one or both of the twins had a need (documented by an ed psych or other professional) to be educated in a separate class from their twin) when it comes to applying for school places for the twins. No LEA, AFAIK, will make a decision on admissions based on what the needs of younger siblings might be at some time in the future.

i agree with what panelmember said i really cant see any lea taking siblings yet to start school into account i think they only consider the need of the child you are actually applying for, and as technically it is your need not your childs then you would not have priority.

if the school really means that much to you and really is the only one you could contemplate sending your ds to then could you not find some way to move into the catchment area? then you would be within easy reach of the school and your twins nursery and it would make your life a whole lot easier? if like you say it is best school due to your circumstances then you really should explore all avenues that could result in you being able to live ther, i know you said earlier that the council wouldnt help as you own your flat but what about a housing association (who possibly would take into account your social reasons as their rules etc are easier to navigate than school admission rules).

I've pressed send, so I'm going to forget about it until April! I put 5 schools down in the end out of a possible 6. Thanks for the advice everyone and good luck everyone who is applying now too.