How much educational input at home?

[happysunshinedays]

I have a DD1 in reception and a 2yo DD2. Feeling a bit guilty that I should be doing more stuff with DD1 over the hilidays. I'm not working as am at home with LO anyway. Am loving having DD1 home for the holidays. We have made christmas biscuits and iced them, made paper chains and snowmen out of loo roles .

Plenty of snowy walks, coffee with friends and stories at least once a day. Too much Christmas telly too .

The question is, is everyone else finding lots of time to learn letters and buff up on maths skills? She doesn't seem to be struggling at school, but not a high flier eather. Very articulate and good at following instructions. . . (at school!), her letter recognition is ok, not great, but she's good at blending as she can hear the sounds well when she does recognise them. Her maths seems pretty good, can count well and do basic addition.

Will she forget it all over the holidays? Am I being a neglectful parent??

BeenBeta it's just an ordinary local state primary.

I've already told them I cannot manage what they expect as both DH and I work full-time and we don't get home until 18:30, at which point DS is far too tired to attempt anything.

He's 4 and in reception and we get:

• at least 4 reading books a week
• at least 4 guided reading books a week (for him to read with our help)
• a box of words that he has to learn, he gets about 4 new words once a fortnight or so
• we received a leaflet about all the different activities we should be doing to help him with maths (there was a lot on there
• various different art projects
• we received a bunch of bulbs to plant which we need to take up to school in Spring to create a big display

Also (and this is partly my fault) he joined the choir so he's had 4 songs to learn plus he had a part in the nativity to learn too (thankfully just the nobleman).

DasherandSmugly I think you need to talk to the school about what they actually expect as you should only be spending about ten or fifteen minutes doing the things you list.

I'm confused over the guided reading as it is a small group classroom activity and doesn't involve anything different to what you would normally do when supporting your child to read.

Parents often request ideas for things they can do to support their child so I would suggest the leaflets have been sent to all parents in response. As for planting bulbs the teacher probably thought it would be a nice activity you could do together and keep you informed about what your child is doing in school.

DasherandSmugly - that is far far too much. Our DSs went to an intensely selective private Prep schol that was renowned for its hard driving take no prisoners approach - but nothing like what you have described.

Are they protecting some sort of high league table position or something? You need to have a word. Your poor DS could be put off wanting to learn by all that.

OP

I did very little "formal homework" when my kids were primary age. Read to them masses, played board and other games with them, but as DS was bordering on hyper getting him to sit still was a challenge. Didn't do him any harm though, he is half way through an MSC in maths now.

It takes much longer than 10-15 mins to read the book, do the words and do the guided reading. The guided reading is a book with very simple words in it that DS can read himself (with a little prompting). So it has phrases like 'Oh look at me mum, look at me on the bike' etc. It's suppported by the box words. The other book is just a normal story book for me to read to him (which I do but when I reach a box word I stop and let him read that).

I agree the leaflets are meant to help but they've added to the pressure I feel.

I spoke to the teacher after we had a session on phonics up at the school as the Head of Early Years was definitely suggesting that we should be doing something every evening. She said to me that she understood why I couldn't do more and it wasn't impacting him 'at the moment' as he's doing quite well but I definitely felt that the implication was that it will impact him in future if we can't find a way of doing more during the week.

I agree the daffodils and art projects are a lovely thing to do but it does all add to the amount I feel we have to do on a weekly basis.

The school isn't high performing - it's doing prettu well but is nowhere near the top of our borough. FWIW I really love the school and all the staff and DS is thriving there. It's the old working mum's guilt rearing it's ugly head again I guess.

I agree the leaflets are meant to help but they've added to the pressure I feel.

I think this is the key

Can I get it straight some of the books are for you to read to your child? not for him to read to you?

If so they are meant for pleasure for you to enjoy together not for you to see as a chore.

I would suggest 5 or 10 minutes a night hearing him read the reading scheme is more than enough

Oh I feel paranoid now. My DS is 5.6 in year 1. Goes to local cross the road primary. My main focus is going to be trying to get him to stop inturupting, sit properly on a chair, stop arguing the toss with adults - all things that don,t go down well with teachers! He is at panto with his dad at the moment. I think we will just do fun reading in hols plus making cards plus lots of burning off energy in the snow! He is a bright boy but rather lively and maybe not as mature as some in his class. Last weeks of term a nightmare cos too much 'fun' sent him into overexcited frenzy. Quite relieved its the holidays...

Yes some of the books are for us to enjoy. It's the rate they change them that makes it more pressurised.

FWIW we do read every night but we've moved past the story books that school are sending home and onto books where we read a chapter a night of a bigger story which we both really enjoy so I'm loath to go back to the kind of books school send home.

I'm not suggesting that doing these things with DS are a chore, more an impossibility because of the hours both DH and I work during the week which is what school seem to expect. We do them quite happily at the weekend but as I said earlier in the thread when I spoke to the teacher her implication was that it wasn't enough.

Anyway, think I've hijacked this thread enough.

I would ignore the 4 books they are sending for you to read and perhaps send a note saying you are reading other books of his choice ... don't feel that because the teacher sends them you must read them.

Am wondering if I'm one of the 'pushy'parents that sparked off the OP? I recently posted that I was going to be doing reading/writing every day this hols (bar when we're out or ill) - and that's still my plan.

That's not to say I'd expect everyone else to do it or that that's what we do every holiday - in my case, I've recently had a huge amount of work on, and we moved house - so poor DS in reception has had a really hard time of it recently - over the last few months, I've barely had time to read with him, and done zero writing. So now that I have a couple of quiet weeks, I'm trying to make up for that by doing it regularly. Obviously, if he didn't want to, I wouldn't make him, and it's not every day as some days we're out all day, at family/trips etc. But so far, he's really enjoyed it, reminds me if we haven't done any reading/writing today, and likes his gold stars filling up his star chart, with a trip to Thomas as his reward. I vary it a lot - so we play lots of games, play with magnetic letters, read/write on the computer, write labels and cards - it's not formal classes with text books.

But that said, we are doing it regularly.

If I hadn't felt we'd missed out so much over the last term, I'd probably not bother, or do far less.

But we have, so I do.

I would agree with mrz on this one! If you and your dc are enjoying chapter books and he is clearly understanding them, then stick with that! If its pressured and not enjoyable your dc will not learn as well anyway. Choose what you do to suit you and your dc

we dont really do any thing formal over the hols. dd1 y1 reads by herself for pleasure but i dont make her. her school doesnt give them reading books over christmas and tells us to give them a break. my dd does love to read and write and she does it off her own back, but i think that fun activities like baking drawing or making stuff are what is needed.

I think I must be a guilty party in terms of making people feel pressure. I had to do work at home with my dds because of some quite specific circumstances related to the dreadful teaching at their school. Things are much better for them educationally now but I still do stuff in the holidays. I think because I quite enjoy doing learning with them. I have to admit and it is truly shocking that I prefer teaching them bits to playing with them...
I know that makes me outcast among mumsnetters but it makes me feel good to admit it... I do think that holidays should be about lots of other activities and don't need to be about formal stuff _ I think I bond with dds over a reading book or some sums...

camicaze don't feel alone, I will be doing my 5 minutes mental maths a day with mine (with the younger one anyway, she goes to bed with a KS2 mental maths book FOR FUN); with the older one we will do a bit if she is in the mood. So probably not then.

We have a learning journal in which we have to write what dd has read and what we have read together. However, I do not have the feeling that anybody ever looks at it. Once I put a question in which was never answered ... We read every day, most days dd first wants to read to me and then I (or dh) read a story of her choice to her. We use a mix of our own books and school books and usually let dd choose. Also, when we go to a bookstore she can always choose some books and she can sit there looking through books before choosing a few for ages, so she really loves books. Nothing formal, this seems to work best for us.

Mine are Y2 DD and Y4 DS, and we have done nothing of note despite the fact that they broke up almost three weeks ago. We did make some mince pies, and DD does a lot of writing because she likes it. We go for lots of walks because they squabble less outside. DS has played the piano incessantly. DS is top of his class, and has all the trophies to prove it. DD is somewhere in the middle. My main input has been talking to them non-stop since they day they were born.

Everyone's probably abandonbed this thread now as last poster was yesterday, but thanks for all the input! I'm glad I posed the question as I have found it facinating to read what everyone has to say. Happy Christmas to oall! xxx