Over sensitivity to peers' jokes/unfavourable comparisons?

[Cortina]

How do you help a Y2 child who is comparing themselves unfavorably to their peers?

How do you encourage them not to be too hard on themselves if they give the wrong answer to a question?

How do you help them not to be too sensitive about their peers' jokes?

Any idea about what are the usual causes of this behaviour when noted by a teacher & displayed in the classroom?

Cause could be that child is being praised for achievement rather than being praised for effort??????

Certainly not by me. Something I feel v passionately about is giving honest praise about effort/process rather than praising 'cleverness' or end result.

From what I know similar approach in the classroom. Wondering what else it might be? I always say that school is where you learn rather than where your talent is judged etc.

Sometimes it is specific peers who wind them up. Kids can be quite nasty in their competitive comments.

Thanks. How do you teach a child to deal with these sort of remarks & to stop them comparing themselves to others they see as smarter etc?

Heck if I know, Cortina; DS's teacher cracked and moved to another table the child who kept commenting loudly and unfavourably on his work.

Am wondering whether more social interaction helps encourage robustness? More playdates?

Thing is son is doing well now in his work but appears to be developing perfectionist traits.

It's a difficult lesson to learn, about doing your best rather than having to be the best.
I guess playdates could help, anything that boosts general self-esteem could be good.

This stuff should be discussed in circle time or during SEAL.

Ragged hope things are better now :)

Yes, although only this year (y2) is sorted. We could easy experience a replay for the start of Yr3!

What is SEAL?

social emotional something.

Where they teach the kids to be nice to each other. When done well it's really good.

SEAL = Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning

Some people are just born competitive and others aren't.

My dd is tremendously competitive and has always tended to compare herself to others. This has never been a good thing. Whether she comes out nearer to the top or bottom has made no difference. The learning environment does matter a great deal.

It's quite helpful if the "peer group" contains a wider range of ages. Then there is no expectation on anyone's part that all children "ought" to be doing similar things. This was one of the reasons my daughter went to a small school with several year groups in each class.

Unhealthy competitiveness is also less in those extracurricular activities which contain a big range of ages and abilities. My dd enjoys a range of sports recreationally, not focussing hard on any of them. Being one of those rare children who never kicked a football until the age of ten - and then decided she liked it - she has thrived in a football class of 5-14 year olds. The gymnastics class has the same age range and I've been pleased that she doesn't know what "level" she is on or the exact ages of others in the class who are working on the same skills she is.

She has spent most of her life being home educated, and that has been the most complete solution. Removing the whole scenario of constant assessment has been the greatest thing for her. The simplest way of preventing her from being too hard on herself when she gave a wrong answer was for me to stop asking questions for the purpose of assessing her. Questions with a straightforward answer, asked by someone who already knows the answer, are rarely interesting questions anyway. She is able to spend more time asking questions than answering them. Her friends' ability to read and do maths varies hugely, but they don't tend to chat much about those things and so they aren't ultra-conscious of them. If the subject does happen to come up, it is soon forgotten again because it isn't being reinforced on a daily basis.

If you're in a position to try home education, I think that would be the most straightforward solution to the problem.