Need some more help with this decision!

[gracebf]

Hi, I have posted on here a few weeks ago as we need to make a decision whether to change dd's school. However, as we still havent decided Ihoped to get a few more opinions/advice.

DD is in Reception at a single sex private school and is very happy there. A place has just become available at the Outstanding state school and we have to decide whether or not to move her!

The fees are not a problem as relatives pay these and they wish dd to stay at the private school and want to carry on paying the fees. This would just be for Primary as we have the 11+ here so hopefully she would go to Grammar school for secondary.

I know it makes sense to leave her at Private with small class sizes, more opportunities etc and she is so happy. But, there is something about the state school that appeals to us and it is co-ed. Is the more balanced surrouding of state school worth losing the smaller class sizes etc of private school?

What would you do?

sorry lovecheese, now it looks like you have a liking for lots of different cheeses...which you probably do!!

Lydwatt (and Lovecheese!)- The first comment is generally fact - you only have to look at results to see this.

The second comment relates to 'lots of people' not everyone - so I am generalising - obviously lovecheese is not one of those people!!

I don't want to get into an argument over this but I am interested where you get your evidence for this 'fact' from?

Its not so simple as to look at raw results as so many private schools select for the highest ability. there are a great deal of selective state schools that are very high performing and a large number of comprehensives whose value added on attainment is amazing

Research I have seen says that, in fact, the single most important factor in how successful a child will be at school is how educated the mother is. Mothers support schools at home and are usually the main home carers, and this creates the right ethic for success.

Anyway, I feel I should leave this alone now. I don't want to take this strand over any further...just please consider that your statement is somewhat simplistic.

I think if your child is happy at school and making good progress you should leave her where she is. It must be unsettling to be going for taster days when the other children aren't moving. She is too little to have to be brought into discussions regarding cost. You are her parents and made a decision to place her in a particular school, I think that has to be a long term decision unless you have made a mistake, which it doesn't sound like you have.

Lydwatt, I agree that we should leave it there - and agree to disagree.

I was just chatting and certainly didnt set out to cause offence.

Hi, well we have almost def decided to move her to the state school.

I disagree that a taster day is too unsettling, LadyLapsang. I think it would be risky to move schools without checking that there is no major personality clash with the new teacher, or that the larger class sizes don't scare her, or that there are some potential friendships in the class.

I think one day of her being slightly worried in the am but very happy at pick up, is worth it if she has to spend the next 7 years of her life there.

We have not bought her into discussions over cost, just where she thinks she will be happy. They are 2 totally different environments..one very small, only girls and very calm. The other mixed sex, more chaotic but more relaxed.
She seems to prefer the state school atmosphere for reasons such as "they have dressing up mummy that I like, not just fairies and princesses". She is a tomboy and I think she has found more like minded children there.

We are very happy with the private school, but only sent her there as she did not get offered a decent state school.We would have sent her to this state school if she had been offered it last year.

Thanks for all your opinions, it really helps to think through all the angles. Its going to be hard as I love the private school so much but actually for her, I think she will happier at the state school. I keep reminding myself that her happiness is most important, not her educational achievements and I think she will get that in the move.

Fingers crossed anyway!

It sounds like you have thought it through carefully...good luck, hope it all goes well, sounds like it will!

ps your dd sounds a lot like mine!

I think if she is a tomboy or just a bit different as a girl, then a larger class and peer group could be what she needs.

My kids have thrived at their State schools. I know teachers and ex-pupils at Private schools who have thought State schools are superior. Although the private schools around here are good (for the right child).

Personally I would prefer not to be beholden to someone else for school fees, and they could put money away for future Uni fees (which could be huge).

Good luck!

I'm sure you have made the right choice. Good luck.

Keep her there!

ds2's state primary school has on Outstanding Ofsted Report, but it's crap and standards have certainly dropped since ds1 attended. The other kids in the class are very badly behaved and quite rough, don't want to learn, keep hurting ds2 etc.

Definitely keep her there: I would give my eye teeth to be able to give my dc that opportunity.

Although relatives are paying for the private school it's still money isn't it? And presumably they would be prepared to contribute this money to something else educational eg secondary school fees, tutoring or uni fees? I wouldn't ever assume that my child would pass the 11+, however bright they seem, and would much rather not limit my options at secondary level.