Do teachers feel put out when parents hire tutors?

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Ds, Y5, could do with a little extra help over and above what the school are currently able to offer. I'm really happy with the school and love his teacher, but he's had a bit of a developmental leap over the last six months and we want to capitalise on this before secondary starts in 2012. So we're planning on hiring a tutor or sending him to Kip Mcgrath.

We (thankfully) don't live in a grammar school area and aren't considering private for secondary so this isn't about 11+ or Common Entrance, btw.

How do I approach his teacher about this? Will she think we think she's not good enough? Ds has been lucky enough to have had her since last year, which was her first as an NQT. She really is a fabulous teacher and being so new I don't want to dent her confidence!

i took my son for tutoring for a year didn't make any difference and am now thinking he will never get maths and to just live with it

Feynman wasted his time learning Spanish just to visit Brazil - he should have learnt Portuguese instead.

A child has to want to learn, to get any benefit from tutoring. IF they are going because their parents want to and not them, then it is a waste of money.

If your DS is being so resistent at home, then this is probably not the best time to use a tutor.

Does he respond to computer games? There are loads and loads of spelling websites - some you can put the words in, and they make learning fun.

Sentences can be related to topics of interest, whether its star wars, football or whatever they are interested in, the teacher wants to see if they understand the word.

Getting a child to do homework when they are not in the mood doesnt work either. This makes it a chore and not enjoyable and if they dont enjoy it they wont retain it.

If he is struggling to make up sentences, may be the words are too hard, for now. It might be that writing the sentences is too hard.

Other suggestions perhaps are, doing spelling homework with a group of friends, or make it competitive, or link it into something he enjoys doing - beating his mum, timing, and by making a game of it. You could both write sentences and decide which is best (his of course) then this should improve his confidence.

We did computerised tutoring for a term, similar to Kip McGrath, and yes it improved his confidence, but in reality it was a complete waste of money. There was supposed to be one to one teaching, but the tutor had four kids, so they only got one to one when they asked for help. If they didnt ask, they didnt get help at all and it was extremely expensive.

Our school is dead against outside tutors, mainly because of the cost factor and the fact that they havent made that much of a difference to the majority of kids. Sometimes a term can be the trigger to turn the lights back on, but its making sure you get the right package.

Me personally, we now stick to the online tutoring programmes, cheaper and just as effective.

I'll look into online tutoring, RoadArt.

Grimma - thanks for the link. Good stuff. Now, how do I send it anonymously to ds's teacher?

As an aside, something on the Wii that exploited the remote well - the balance board even - would be fab. We have Big Brain Academy but that's not quite what I'm thinking of. Hmmmmmm. If only I was a games developer.

Grimma, that link brought tears to my eyes it so exactly summed up what happens with this type of homework. Son (16) still struggles to do English homework because he believes he can't do it.

The link should be sent to all teachers and to those who train teachers and probably all politicians as well. (and those daft parents who complain that their children don't get enough homework)

Crumbs, you can tell this is a sore point with me!

The person who wrote the blog in the link (Alistair Bryce Clegg) was a head teacher and now works as an international consultant and is responsible for rolling out the most interesting INSET days for schools imaginable.

"If your DS is being so resistent at home, then this is probably not the best time to use a tutor."

Hi there - I am a personal tutor and just wanted to say that the above isn't always the case. Sometimes having a calm person outside the parent child relationship can work wonders. Children will react much better sometimes to a tutor asking them to do things than a parent.

I think sometimes primary school children can benefit from tutoring. This is particularly the case when they have lost confidence (eg the child who believes she can't do maths) or have a specific learning difficulty like dyslexia or need to catch up in a particular area. I seem to be picking up quite a few children who seem quite bright but parents are concerned about an area of progress. Often they have something like undiagnosed dyslexia.

I don't think any of the parents of my students think they are wasting their money. IMO if they did, they'd just cancel the tutoring! Also I ask them to write a testimonial for me to show to other parents when I finish working with their child and these are always lovely.

The attitude of teachers seems to vary a lot. Some are lovely and very happy to have anything that helps a particular child. I wonder whether these are the ones who are most secure in their own abilities as teachers. Others can be a bit defensive at times. I think if you talk to your dc's teachers in such a way that makes it clear that you are not blaming them or critisising them in any way, they should be fine about it.

I'd personally beware of what I call the "pile em high and sell em cheap" type of tutoring. Tutoring centres may seem cheaper but may teach 4 or 6 children at the same time, so find out exactly how much one-to-one time your child will get and compare this in cost per minute to an individual session with a tutor.

Also find out what sort of preparation the tutor does for each lesson. Do they just follow a set workbook or do they compile an individual work scheme to try and match the needs of each child as closely as possible?

Feynman wasted his time learning Spanish just to visit Brazil - he should have learnt Portuguese instead

Exactly! Even geniuses get it wrong sometimes.

Depends on the situation if it's going to work or not.

I've had kids who just needed a shot of confidence to remove mental blocks of "I can't do it" - few months of that and they've started to take back off again.

I've been called for kids for whom school work outside school (homework etc) was becoming a battleground but who were basically wanting to do well underneath it all - and sometimes having that blocked out hour where someone else is coming and it's work time can make the difference. Or a very lively kid who can wriggle just below the surface in a class of 30 - but when working one-to-one there's nowhere to wriggle and the very focused environment helps.

I've also had kids who just really didn't want to be there at all and it was an hour of painful coaxing, work avoidance and the like and just wasn't going to work out - in those cases I've said that I don't think I'm going to be able to help and not to waste their money.

Apologies for any typos - trying to type, cough, sneeze and blow my nose simultaneously - have woman flu - much more potent than man flu!

"a calm person outside the parent child relationship" is exactly what we need.

Friends of mine have an arrangement with a retired teacher neighbour, who comes and supervises homework for a couple of hours at the weekend. It has given them back their weekends apparently. It's an informal thing though, otherwise we'd be hiring her too!

I share your wariness of study centres, sarah. The main reason I was considering Kip Mcgrath is that the independent tutors I've seen advertising around here seem to be concerned with Common Entrance coaching (lots of private school here). We'll see.

shell it's mental block removing and battleground avoidance I'm hoping for. Fingers crossed. :)

Agree with Sarah - I have found a tutor for my 8yr and 6yr old - we have a few dyspraxic and dyslexia problems within the family -but I found it very difficult to work with my 8yr old. I much better at the action and exciting stuff. The tutor is Montessori trained and infinatly patient. They both only have 1/2 a week but get so much done. I can see doing it long term. Am very happy with their school in gerneral but they do not get the individual attention on specific problems that are not bad enough for a statement or extra funding.

Most tutors are teachers, so it would be pretty silly if they did feel put out.

Class sizes are so large now that most teachers are frustrated that they can't give pupils as much attention as they would like.

Sensible teachers would be glad of the help.