DD Being Ignored by Teacher?

[howtoapproach]

I'm interested in hearing from others with similar experience or primary teachers particularly.

My DD started reception in September. I thought she seemed to be settling ok. Just before half term we had a parents evening where the teacher told me her behaviour wasn't satisfactory. She said she was engaging in imaginative play too much and sometimes distracting others. Not sitting still at carpet time. Also that my DD (the teacher) felt she had something wrong with her hands, because she was clenching them at carpet time. (I think she is feeling anxious). The teacher also said that academically she was doing well, she now knows her phonics, but that she had asked my DD if she would like a reading book and that my DD had said no. So she hadn't given her one.

I could understand that she finds it hard to sit still. She is an extremely active and lively child. But the hands thing I couldn't understand. She draws and writes well and uses the smallest hamas beads on peg boards quite regularly.

Anyway, roll on four weeks. I went to look at her work book on an open day today and there is no work in there for the past four weeks. There is one sticker saying that she can count to 70. She has been able to do this for at least six months. She has not been offered a reading book since. I asked if i could speak to the teacher and she has said she couldn't speak to me at the open day today but that I can come after school next Tuesday.

To be honest I feel livid. I feel that because her behaviour is slightly challenging in that she finds it hard to sit still she is disliked and being ignored. I may be wrong - please enlighten me if I am. But could anyone advise me of what would be an appropriate response when i go in next Tuesday.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Would be very concerned about no reading book for4 weeks. Does that mean she isn't being read with in class? In ds1's reception class, they have books to read at home that they then read to the teacher (or that they start with the teacher before continuing at home).

Reception is really about setting the scene for subsequent years - getting the hang of the rules and behaviour, socialising, settling in. But there has to be a balance.

I think I'd be saying that you were concerned that there were no entriesin her work book for the last 4 weeks and that your dd should be given books to read.

I'm sure the teacher doesn't dislike your dd - it's just she's a teacher, with lots of pupils past and present. s so hrd because one wants is for the dcs teachers to say that they like, understand and 'get' our children, when they mght just not.

Engaging in imaginative play too much? This is a bad thing?
Not sitting still / distracting others - fairly standard behaviour for many pupils at the beginning of Reception.
I don't understand the hands comment either

Some Reception classes don't have work in books but they would probably keep a 'profile' with comments and observations in it. I would expect this to have a reasonable number of observations in from the previous four weeks.

I don't understand why the teacher asked dd if she wanted a book? Surely it's her job to manage distribution of books on a regular basis?

Sorry - not much help, just to say I am baffled by the teacher's behaviour too.
However, I would write a list of objective questions such as:
'Could you explain how monitoring and changing of reading books is managed?'

'What strategies do you use to pupils to sit still when necessary?'
'Are there any other activities that my daughter shows an interest in? How is she progressing in these areas?'
'How do you track the achievement and progress of children in the class?'

This might give you some insight as to how well the teacher knows your daughter. Sorry for essay. Good luck

Should say to encourage pupils to sit still...

Thank you v much for your replies. I was thinking these things too, re reading book and entries in work book but didn't know if I was expecting too much.

Spiky - the hands thing I don't understand at all. I feel if she'd spent 5 minutes observing my DD she'd know that she doesn't have any problem with her hands. Also don't know how she feels she's qualified to state this - was just stunned at parents evening.

And yes, I think imaginative games are great, and a lot of 5 yr olds find it hard to sit still. I've always encouraged this - but felt like a really bad parent after the parents' evening.

I will write down the questions you've suggested so that I can at least try to come across as a balanced person - I'm afraid of coming across as angry or sarcastic.

Very many thanks.

Sorry - encouraged the imaginative games rather than not sitting still - i meant to say.

I'm astonished that the teacher has asked if she 'wants' a reading book and acted on your daughter's response! Does she consult with the children about how to teach/run the class in other ways? I doubt it!

Your daughter must be 4/5, that is not a decision to pass onto a young child. What a strange thing to do, she needs to be encouraged to read especially at this age! That is how children end up falling behind.

I would not be happy with that at all.

Be interested to hear what is said at the meeting.

I can't really understand why you're so cross tbh. The teacher has mentioned some behavioral issues - nothing serious by the sounds of it. There is nothing wrong with imaginative play, obviously, but could it be that she plays this sort of game when she is supposed to be doing other things? The sitting still thing is common, but no harm in her mentioning it. And the hands thing just sounds like a casual observation. Did you ask her what she meant by it?

Lots of schools don't give out reading books at this stage in reception. Maybe your school has a policy not to give them yet unless the children show an interest? And maybe there's no work in the workbook because your dd has been busy with more exciting things?!

Not saying there isn't a problem, but there might not be. Try to keep an open mind and good luck at the meeting on tuesday!

Thank you muriel and magic.

Muriel - Yes, it's astonishing me re the reading book.

Magic - I don't know if I'm being unreasonable, so thank you for a balanced view. The hands thing wasn't a casual observation - she repeatedly said "it's her hands I'm worried about" which at the time I was just stunned and then really concerned about. But after thinking about if for a few days and asking others who knew DD, I really do think there's absolutely nothing wrong with her hands.

The reading book - I know they are issued to DCs once they have grasped the phonics. According to another parent, you get a letter saying congratulations etc and here is your first reading book. For some reason this hasn't happened and four weeks later I am trotting down the library to find books for her to read when there's a huge supply at the school.

The workbook does worry me - because when I went to the first open day my DD did a lovely picture and put it straight in her book bag to take home. I asked her "don't you need to show your teacher" and she said "no. we have to put it in our book bag". So we've had home various pictures and pieces of writing and I appreciate she may have got this wrong - but think I need to clarify with the teacher what the system is really. It seems a shame that none of it goes in her workbook.

I have held back from saying anything so far, not wanting to push things, but as it goes on am getting a bit annoyed.

Will try and keep an open mind and above all ask non accusatory questions as per Spiky's advice.

thank you all v much for replies.

I'm with magic here in that it is worth making an appointment with an open mind, to find out what is going on. An open morning is no place for a detailed chat.

It sounds like you could do with a good conversation about school policies on reading, formal written work and you dd in particular.

Our reception was very play centred and so there were no workbooks. My DD started on her first reading book at Easter, being younger in the year. I don't feel she has lost anything for this experience, now that she is in year 1.

I'm not saying there isn't an issue here but just to reserve judgment a bit longer.

Thank you Lydwatt, good advice.

I think one of the things that bothers me is that she is one of the eldest in the year with a September birthday. She's had two years at pre-school, the last year of which she was getting quite bored.

We have been working with her on phonics and maths at home, largely because she is interested and always asking to do it.

Just feel it's time she moved on a bit as she is now reading level 1 books at home. It would be nice if her teaching staff could do some reading with her at school.

I guess the best way to move forward is to discuss with an open mind. I really don't want to alienate the teacher which is why I've held off up to now.

"It's her hands I'm really concerned about" ? What an odd thing to say. What did she mean, exactly?

sorry to be flippant at a stressy time for you but 'its her hands I'm really worried about' sounds like the sort of strange kryptic thing a dying victim in 'midsummer murders' would say to the detective before finally suffing it...

and about as helpful because it doesn't in any way explain what she means...

If you look at any group of reception kids they will be doing various things to cope with sitting still on the carpet. Some sit bolt upright with arms folded, Some pull funny faces and a few clench hands. Is this teacher lacking in experience ? I would find the teachers comments worrying. I would talk to the head.

Thanks Tiki and Lydwatt - it was a very odd first parents' evening i have to say. I came away sort of stunned and thinking the teacher was loopy tbh. And yes, her tone was very dramatic re the hands. If she wasn't able to hold a pencil properly I could understand it, but she can and is drawing and writing (a bit big and not straight but similar to others in her age range). This is why I'm worrying that she's not paying much attention to DD - if she'd spent 5 minutes with her, she'd have known this.

She is very young and a supply teacher covering long term sickness. I think I might see how the meeting goes on Tuesday and see if she still appears loopy. TBH if we could get on track with the reading, I'd be quite happy.