Negativity

[dabdib]

My son is having a bit if trouble at school and I was hoping for some opinions, particularly from any teachers on here.

My son will be 6 soon and is in his second year of school. At parents night all his teacher had to say was about how naughty he could be, nothing much was said about how well he was doing learning wise, but just that could we have a word with him.

We started a reward chart, he gets points for being polite and friendly etc. Although we still have occasional slip ups at home, he was doing well in class, we knew this because he didn't lose any of the special play time they get at the end of the week if they are good.

This week he lost some of this time and I was given a note from the teacher because of other children complaining about him. It does not detail what he has done wrong and on asking him, from his version it sounds like he doesn't really know what he is doing wrong.

I plan to reply to the teacher but I feel she is very negative towards my son. He tells me he doesn't get to explain why he has done something that is wrong in her eyes. On the weeks where his behaviour had improved there were no positive comments or even stickers, kids love being rewarded with stickers. But as soon as he steps out of line, it is not good enough for her.

I know my child is far from perfect, but he is very honest and takes everything very literally. Last year he was a very eager child, keen to go to school. Now he is losing his enthusiasm as no matter how hard he tries he won't be good enough for his teacher.

So my question is, how do I approach this with the teacher, as I don't even know what he has done wrong apart from that it is multiple incidents?

Thanks for reading :)

Well I think your question is your starting point. Explain to the teacher that you (and your son) need some specfics as to what exactly he is doing wrong. He's only 6! Phrase it as a genuine question along the lines of 'we all want to improve this situation, so what exactly is he doing?' And make a point of mentioning how pleased you were when he didn't miss the special play time - remind her of the importance of emphasising the positive.

I agree with SpikyBinkle. Say that he is a DC who reacts well to praise-could she do something like write in his reading record book when he has done something well so that you can praise him. (hopefully she might pick up the point that direct praise fron her might work wonders).

Okay, thanks for the replies, I think I will approach her with that sort of question SpikyBinkle, I don't want to appear as one of those mums who think their child can do no wrong, and I am honestly concerned as to what he is doing wrong.

When he comes home from school he always has various complaints about other kids in his class, including breaking his toys, but he is always told by the teacher that these are accidents but if he does similar things he gets into trouble. He has now given up telling on other kids because he sees no punishment made.

I will mention recording in his homework diary if he has been good, I thought she may have done this after his behaviour improved after parents night, at the moment she only records when he has been naughty.

Thanks again.