So what is the accepted way of saying to a teacher

[asdx2]

this IEP is tosh are you going to rewrite it or shall I?
Got dd's IEP yesterday,three targets, one suggested by dd that she can do anyway.One that feels to me that they put in because they were struggling for ideas and the only worthwhile one (because I suggested that we need to address her social use of language) is so broad you can drive a tank through it and there are no strategies and no outcomes
So this morning put on my nicest and respectfully and tactfully suggested that the IEP wasn't really up to scratch.
Had a message saying teacher wants to meet after school today (I can't because of ds's taxi) to discuss IEP seeing as I am so particular
So any ideas for how to address such issues without managing to offend because I really was on my best behaviour today and even managed not to when given it yesterday

Oh don't worry. IEPs are only any good when they are well written which unfortunately doesn't happen routinely enough for my liking.
I could send you dd's and see if it fit your child better than it does mine if you'd like

Forgot to add no apology needed and I'm like a bear with a sore head today. It's been a long week!!!

maryz - where are you? ieps are used throughout the state system in the uk for sn students/ students with additional needs (inc more able children)... they are called something slightly different in scotland - ipp i think?

if you haven't any experience of sn/ more able children then you might not have heard the term - if you do have a child with sn and no-one has discussed ieps with you, then you do need to contact the senco and ask them to show you their records.... (hoping you have no kids with sn...)

op, do you have any external profs that could suggest some sensible smart targets that can be included? we always get dd2's therapists to have iep input too - i know it's a little different with asd, but there are plenty of kids with social targets etc, not just academic.

I have just picked up my son's IEP from his teacher. There was no consultation with me or him on what went on it. She just showed it to me and asked if I agreed with it. Thankfully I do in general.

It is set out in columns and these are headed Targets to be acheived,acheivement criteria,possible resources/techniques, possible class strategies, ideasfor support/assistant and outcome.

My son has speech and language difficulties but we think there is more to it than that, it is trying to get someone to listen to us.

We have Autism Outreach who is really useless, a SALT that hasn't got a clue and waiting for an assessment from OT who I am pinning my hopes on.
Have had a good Autism Outreach previously but has been replaced by somebody who has a dd with Aspergers and can't quite grasp that the strategies that work for her dd aren't guaranteed to work for mine particularly because dd has moderate autism and followed an early intervention programme and her dd was dx'ed as an adult.
The SALT is more or less invisible and doesn't turn up for any child in the school not least dd. Not much confidence there either because her report for the Statement was so bad I had it removed and LEA offered me their legal services to press a complaint

slattern dd's is filled in on the official form but the targets aren't either needed nor specific, the strategies consist of little more than 5 minute chat to TA, the resources are TA and the outcome column is blank

And I always say if dd was a disruptive then they'd be quicker to address the issues. But because she only hurts herself or tears holes in her clothes they don't see the need to address her stress.
Ds has always had good support from his entry into school purely because he caused mayhem.
So sorry Maryz that ds and you didn't get the help you needed

Has your DD had previous IEPs that should have been used to inform this one? Telling the time could be a general target that the whole class are working on (possibly why your DD suggested it if it's at the forefront of her mind) but it's not something I would include in an IEP.

I would probably go to the teacher with a couple of suggestions, "thank you for including DD in the IEP writing but I've had a think about priorities for this year and would like a couple of them changed....". You could then explain that a long-term target is for DD to ask an adult for help when she needs it but could this particular IEP have the target phrased as, "When I feel like I need to X(self-harm) I will tell an adult". Strategies could then include the 5 mins TA time (presumably aimed at building a relationship between TA & your DD so your DD recognises TA as a person to go to for help), a card/sign/fixed phrase that will be rehearsed e.g. "I feel worried/scared/stressed/like I need to hurt myself, please help me" and the provision of a 'worry book' or similar in which your DD can record her stresses (and perhaps then take to an adult as a way of requesting help).

If it's about teaching her strategies or displacement activities that will help her manage the stress that leads her to self-harm then the IEP should, IMO, include a range of things that are socially acceptable and achievable in the classroom. All of the things I've suggested are! The desired outcome would be the same as the long-term aim, that your DD asks an adult for help when she needs it but, crucially, using specific strategies/tools as I've already mentioned.

I think I'd want the targets to be broader in terms of the adults involved too otherwise she'll need the same 'asking for help' target at the start of every year. If she can be helped now to recognise that 'an adult' can be asked for help it will serve her better in the long-term and may help with playground issues/supply teachers/replacement TAs too. Maybe.

maryz - that's v sad. i knew i recognised your username but wasn't sure why.

SE13 well I have re wrote it and will take it along to teacher on the basis that I would like an IEP pretty much like this. Hopefully it will give the teacher an idea of how I'd like dd's IEPs to look if nothing else.
Taken off the telling the time target and the tables target because dd is as able as top group and don't want her IEP used to push her further ahead academically.
Made first target Dd will signal when she needs help. Resources a red and green card to indicate when she needs help.Outcome dd will use her cards in 80% of lessons
Second target Dd will be able to communicate her feelings. Resources a feelings fan (series of faces and words showing emotions) notebook.Outcome dd will use her feelings fan to indicate she has a problem and write about it in her book, adult will record how often this happens dd's notebook will be the measure of success.
So what do you think?

How is your DD during the rest of the school day i.e. playtime/assembly/lunch? If those are tricky times for her then it would make sense to have it recorded that the teacher/SENCo will remind DD to take the cards out to play with her and will ensure all staff are aware of how to respond when she uses one.

A child in my class has exit cards which say, "when I hand this to an adult I am asking to go and do X". Long-term I'd like the child to express this verbally but for the moment, having a pre-printed card thrust at me is preferable to having the child throw furniture/hit others. If the card states the expected outcome then any adult in the school can respond appropriately (even if it seems like a rather odd/unnecessary response).

I would say that there is no need for an adult to record how often your DD writes in her worry book - what matters is how often she doesn't and then self-harms. If she does write in the book, chances are it's because she needs to. If she doesn't it could be because everything's fine but may also be because she needed to but something else happened to prevent her doing so i.e. didn't want to ask the teacher/they were in PE. Perhaps the green card could be used as the 'help' card (green signifying 'go' and therefore an active thing) and the notebook/worry book being pre-printed with the feelings faces so your DD can simply turn a page and see a range of faces on one side (she could circle one) and a blank page opposite for her to draw/write about how she's feeling. That way she only has two bits of equipment to keep track of which will be less stressful than four. When I use worry books I have a set time of the day for everyone in my class to write in them regardless of whether or not they have IEPs/have any worries. By making it a part of the daily routine it means that children who aren't assertive enough to just go and write in it independently know they will have a daily opportunity to. I also direct children to write in them if I can see they are upset/grumpy/have steam coming out of their ears. I'd simply say, "X, go and write in your worry book for me please".

Dd is very very passive, so she can be hugely upset but not indicate it other than make holes in her clothes or scratch her skin until it bleeds or chew her lip until it bleeds.
Because it's not obvious (we've gone through two cardigans in the last week) then it's not noticed and I can't address any issues because I see the results and not the triggers.
Because she never complains, cries, behaves badly then it's assumed she's happy but I know she is stressed because of the cardis, the scratches and the nightmares and sleepwalking.
Your ideas for the worry book sound really good I think I'll use that instead instead of the fan and notebook.I think my reasoning with red and green was that the card could be double sided and so always on her desk and she could turn it over if she was stuck so green she was moving on and the red was that she was stopped and needed help.
I think the teacher doesn't quite understand why she has a statement, she's academically able, incredibly well behaved and very sociable so all the standard issues on an IEP don't apply. Her difficulties are so subtle and not at all intrusive on the classroom situation that in all honesty if she didn't have a statement she wouldn't even be on school action tbh.
She had a statement before she even started nursery though and I intend to keep it particularly because from experience with my ds secondary is a different kettle of fish.
I want to ensure that I maintain a good relationship with the teacher but I can't ignore the fact that the IEP was not only poorly written but the targets weren't even appropriate.
Oh well currently re writing the statement so it should be much easier for school to understand dd when it comes to her next IEP

these any use?

Yes that's exactly what I imagined.I'll suggest them to her teacher so it's not difficult to find resources.
I really don't want to be a nightmare parent and it's so difficult because I invested so much in the early intervention to give dd a fighting chance of a normal life that I find it difficult to hand over the reigns.So the IEP makes me question what the school understands and what they are doing.
I'm sure we can sort it out between us, it was hopefully a blip,she is a good teacher and with luck she'll take my input into the IEP positively.
I don't doubt that I'm not the typical parent in dd's school (seriously deprived area) and of course having ds with autism as well means that I've seen good and bad practise in the last 13 years and have a shedload of ideas for strategies that are proven to work.

Just for the record, they are IEPs in Scotland too, and not just for SN children, we use them for anyone who is struggling more than is "ordinary" in any area, as well as for sn children.
As you were !

thanks for clarification - must have been somewhere else i've lived where they are called something different...