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Primary education

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DS1 doesn't want to go to Lunchtime football anymore because "the year 6 bullies go"

6 replies

create · 25/11/2010 21:54

DS1, yr5 is not at all good at sport, but badly wanted to play football. In addition to training for the team, the school have started doing a lunchtime club for all-comers, which seemed perfect for him and he was very keen to go along to begin with.

But, the last few weeks his kit has come home clean and he's told me either his leg hirt so he didn't go or that he hadn't fallen over!!

Tonight he's apologised for lying and admitted that he doesn't want to go because "the bullies in year 6 go". Now, he really isn't very good at football and I suspect some of the other children point this out to him although "bullying" might be a bit strong, I don't expect it's very nice for him.

Part of me thinks that he shouldn't give in to them and should keep going if he wants to (but he doesn't while they're there). Another part of me think's it would be better and easier if he stopped, especially as he clearly has no talent in that area. I want to march up to the school and demand they put a stop to it, but I doubt that's a great idea either.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Ingles2 · 25/11/2010 22:07

Difficult... I too have a yr 5 ds and yr 6 one as well.
Both play football, .. DS1 is very good, ds2 is terrible and only plays because his friends do.
Most of the time his friends are supportive but there is definitely a hierarchy when it comes to football and sometimes ds2 gets short shrift, which I imagine is what is happening to your ds.
Is the football run by teachers? If so I would be letting them know your ds feels intimidated. It's really not on for supervised sport.
If this is just footie in the playground, he is going to have to stand his ground if he wants to play.
Another common complaint from ds2 is they (his friends) never pass to him, but I just keep reminding him that the more practice he has, the better he will become, the more likely they are to want him in the team.
Is there a local football club your ds could play for / train with, out of school hours?

create · 25/11/2010 22:13

Thanks Ingles.

The club is run by "Dan the Chelsea Man" an outside coach who comes to the school a few days a week. This is an organised lunch-time club.

There are outside clubs, but I doubt he's be good enough for them and/or he'd have the same issues there

OP posts:
ampere · 26/11/2010 09:15

DS2 used to do an after school football training thing (mercifully, INDOORS!) via a company called TeamElite here in the south. It was good in that it was organised training drills with a short, controlled game at the end, and many parents stayed and watched. However, as DS2 was outgrowing this, he began to play football more in school but, although he is considered quite 'handy' with the ball, he's very small and, as you'll have noticed, the height difference between one Y5 boy and another can be 12" so he began to get hurt more, so basically stopped playing.

We glanced at outside football clubs (where a lot of the ex TeamElite boys then went) but we just aren't prepared for the degree of commitment required, training once a week, occasionally twice plus standing by a freezing pitch every Sunday afternoon if DS is selected to play BUT they're expected to turn up and watch even if they're not playing! No thanks.

DreamTeamGirl · 26/11/2010 09:23

Create I think you need to establish from him if it is actual bullying or just him feeling left out

If it is bullying and there is a lack of supervision, then yes I would be marching up to the school too

crazygracieuk · 26/11/2010 10:24

I would find out if it's just him or all the Y5s getting picked on.

I have a son in Y5 and when they play footie against y6, the Y6s get verbally abusive and the Y5s deal with it by sticking up for each other and shouting back.

There are 2 classes in each year at our school and until the end of Y3 the 2 classes were really friendly with each other but from Year 4 onwards the rivalry has escalated. It's not just ds' year either.

Footie in the playground seems to be split along year/class lines and I think it ends up with the rivalry getting too intense.

My son doesn't do footie out of school so is less skilled in terms of technique but can keep up with the level of "aggression" shown in the playground so the other boys let him play too. Since he started to play football, his circle of friends has become a lot bigger. In your shoes I'd be asking how many boys don't do football.

crazygracieuk · 26/11/2010 10:25

I would find out if it's just him or all the Y5s getting picked on.

I have a son in Y5 and when they play footie against y6, the Y6s get verbally abusive and the Y5s deal with it by sticking up for each other and shouting back.

There are 2 classes in each year at our school and until the end of Y3 the 2 classes were really friendly with each other but from Year 4 onwards the rivalry has escalated. It's not just ds' year either.

Footie in the playground seems to be split along year/class lines and I think it ends up with the rivalry getting too intense.

My son doesn't do footie out of school so is less skilled in terms of technique but can keep up with the level of "aggression" shown in the playground so the other boys let him play too. Since he started to play football, his circle of friends has become a lot bigger. In your shoes I'd be asking how many boys don't do football.

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