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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

The presents for classmates minefield

24 replies

fruitstick · 20/11/2010 20:08

Ds is in reception.

Planning to send Christmas cards to whole class. However, his best friend's mum asked if we were doing presents.

It'll end in tears won't it? Whoever I buy for, there will be an imbalance. Someone bound not to have bought or bought ds something when we didnt bother.

I thought about making some biscuits and handing those put but will that just be the worst of all worlds?

Help!

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Judd · 20/11/2010 20:12

No. I would say nip this in the bud immediately! Getting him to write cards will be absolutely enough, they don't need to give presents too!

In reception, all the children sent cards to each other and one mum then sent cards from her and her husband to all the other children in the class's parents. Thankfully nobody else followed suit.....

Seona1973 · 20/11/2010 20:15

no need for presents. Last year we did 1 card for the whole class rather than write out loads. This year the school wont give out a class list so its either get dd to try and remember 30 names or do the same again but with cards for her few best friends

forehead · 20/11/2010 20:18

Noooooooooo way.Just cards

bumpybecky · 20/11/2010 20:22

I've got 3 school age children and have never bought presents for friends at Christmas (only for birthday parties.

dd1 bought presents for her closest friends last year, but that was from her own money and she was 11.

blametheparents · 20/11/2010 20:23

In Reception I bought DD chocolate coins to put in her Christmas cards.
Everyone happy

Sidge · 20/11/2010 20:30

Presents for the whole class??

That woman is either completely mad or has too much money to spare.

Cards are enough of a cost and commitment IMO!

Original poster

fruitstick · 20/11/2010 20:40

She didn't mean whole class. Just DS and a few others i think.

But that's where I think it will all go horribly wrong.

OP posts:

Kitsilano · 20/11/2010 20:44

WHAT?! I didn't even do cards in reception. Let alone presents!

Now wondering if I should send cards this year...

Sidge · 20/11/2010 21:02

Hmm that's even worse I think fruitstick - I think you have to do all or none in a class scenario.

Or save present giving for out of school.

orienteerer · 20/11/2010 21:05

Definitely NO cards and NO presents.

Clary · 20/11/2010 23:06

I have never given pressies for classmates at school.

Last year IIRC DD asked to give something to 2-3 best pals (she was in yr 4), but that was slightly different (girls she has been mates with for years etc) and I was fine with that.

DS1 (11) never asked to give anything, nor has DS2 (7).

I would stick to cards only. BTW there is no need to give cards to whole class either. I would never expect DD to get a card from

mummytime · 21/11/2010 07:47

No need for cards to the whole class (hopefully no-one gets totally left out). I always get a bit when DC gets a card from the child I have been assured "hates" them.

Definitely no presents unless they buy themselves and know the child very well outside school.

FreudianSlimmery · 21/11/2010 07:55

We don't do Xmas presents for anyone but family, we barely even bother with cards (waste of trees!) but probably will do cards for DD's class so she doesn't get left out

I do remember a friend giving everyone a little bottle of bath bubbles, but that is entirely different IMO as we were yr7 and it was her choice, in yrR it's probably all done by the parents.

NoahAndTheWhale · 21/11/2010 08:08

Cards only. If we remember, or snow causing school to be closed for the last day of school before Christmas doesn't thwart our plans (possibly writing them earlier this year would help )

RaisinBoys · 21/11/2010 12:02

Presents?? Madness!!

Cards only - if you can get him to sign them all you'll be doing well.

We have a postbox in each class - given out every few days, so it's not so obvious if a child has been left out by someone in particular

gabid · 21/11/2010 12:14

Last year my DS (in reception then) got into card making big time. I didn't know all the children in his class and left it up to him who he wanted to send a card to. Every day he made a couple himself with coloured paper, cut out pictures and drawings etc, he wrote names and greetings - that kept him busy all through December.

Tbh I don't know whether he has sent a card to everybody, and we didn't count the cards he received either.

This year again, he is in a different class now and I don't know half the children, so I think I will encourage him to do the same again, maybe get him to write more extensive greetings. There is no way he is giving presents to everyone, although the chocolate coin is a nice idea.

Original poster

fruitstick · 21/11/2010 12:23

Phew. This is all most reassuring.

The friend in question had been a friend from pre-school and I am friends with his Mum
in a platdate, let's have coffee kind of way.

Our Ds2s are the same age too.

But i would feel bad saying i dont want to do presents i might suggest they come
round for tea on afternoon before Christmas and buy him and his brother a little gift.

That takes it out of classmates and back on friends terms.

OP posts:

Talkinpeace · 21/11/2010 16:07

Classmates!
DD is in a year group of 284 at secondary!!

I have a policy of giving teachers a nice plain mug filled with chocolate coins.
I know that those end up in their childrens stockings and the mugs get used till they break.

Original poster

fruitstick · 21/11/2010 17:04

Oh Blimey, presents for teachers! Had completely forgotten about that .

I'm no good at this.

OP posts:

Foxy800 · 22/11/2010 09:34

No we will just be writing cards for dd's classmates.

Then got a tin of chocs for teacher and the 3 teaching assistants to share.

Jammyrella · 22/11/2010 09:44

DD is only in the pre-school year, hadn't started to think about this, eek!

Last year she made a few cards for the friends we see fairly frequently, and gave a couple of really close friends a small present (a £1 book). Was thinking of doing the same this year but on a slightly larger scale - there will be a few pre-school friends added to the card list and maybe one or two more books. But these will be givewn out in person when we see these people out of school. Was also thinking of sending a card to the pre-school for all the class and teachers. I hope that's all reasonable so far. BUT I hadn't thought about a present for teacher. Mmmm, necessary at this stage? Or any stage?

SuePurblybiltByElves · 22/11/2010 09:49

Minefield. DD is in a preschool/Reception class of 9 but barely knows some of the children - small village school and classes are merged. So if she bought for the 3 year olds in the pre-schooland the 5 year olds in Reception and the school that visits once a week and the toddler group they host . I'm already poor!

But then she has a couple of friends we see out of school and I've bought her a little something to give them (£2-3)when we see them socially. Is that not on then? Will it cause an upset?
I've small pressies for the two teachers. I'm in training and all my family are teachers, would never forget the teacher present

crazygracieuk · 22/11/2010 09:56

I don't see it as a minefield as we don't do them for school friends. Last year somebody put a celebration in all the cards which I thought was a good idea.

Teachers and TAs get a gift though. I have 3 kids and some of the adults really go out of their way to help my kids so I am happy to oblige with a gift.

taffetacat · 22/11/2010 17:45

Yes, the most either of mine have ever had is a small chocolate santa in with the card.

I however am a meanie and they do cards only. Its good handwriting practice.

Pres for teacher and teaching assistant though. Good wine or Prosecco, every time.

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