7 yr old and swearing.

[MittzyWithTinselOnHerBittzys]

Can I link this here please? I really want to be sure of myself before I do anything or decide to leave it.

I would go to the teacher. I would be up front with dd, so doesn't feel betrayal. Discuss with her what you will say. She needs to learn that standing by and doing nothing can end up making a situation much worse.

this girl shows not only a shocking knowledge of swear words but a really very poor attitude to authority. Further down the line, this will become a real problem for her education, if it isn't already.

You can ask the teachers keep your dd name out of any chat with this girl and I would advise in trying to teach dd to stay clear.

Don't go near the dad yourself. This is a school matter.
good luck

I saw your thread last night Mitzy.

At my dd's 7th birthday party in October one of the boys in her class was effing this and effing that all the time. I wasn't going to say anything to the teacher, because it happened out of school and is really not her problem because of that. But a few days later, me and another mum were talking to the teacher who was saying "gah some of the children just will not listen" (all very general) and we got to talking about what we, as parents, expect in the home etc, and I casually mentioned that I'd been shocked to hear some of the language at the party. (mentioning no names) The teacher said, "let me guess?" and mentioned 2 names and said, "I've lost count of how many times I've spoken to the parents and asked them to please moderate their language at home because I don't want my other 22 kids to start using this language as a matter of course".

So, in a waffley roundabout way I suppose I'm saying it's unlikely that the teachers aren't already aware.

Thank you.

DD is obviously my main concern but I do feel sad for this child.

I find the thought that this is just the way it is all going hard to swallow.

I am starting to think that we will speak to a teacher, also mention my concerns that DD has problems with this little girl and make it clear that DD is very nervous that she will either be in trouble or get picked on more by her.

Yes, if DD is having problems with this girl then you (both) have to speak to the teacher, maybe there is a way DD can 'handle' this girl better, maybe by being more assertive with her.

Otherwise, I don't think there is not much you can do about how other people choose to live their lives, but ensure that your DD knows that such language and behaviour is not appropriate.

It's the real world I'm afraid, and in a way I would like my children to grow up in it, knowing what's out there and being able to deal with it.

I have been flamed to the extent that I have now hidden the thread I was daft enough to start on this sort of issue.

When you are up against parents who will not and authorities who cannot help, you have to go for self preservation and frankly, snobbery.
"that is not allowed in this house" and "would you like to live in a house where it was?"
Awful, horrible, depressing that I can do nothing.
But what I can do is impress upon my children and their friends is that there are better options.

OH and and I had a huge row about the girl in my Secondary Education thread last night. I want to do something. He (with years of experience of lots of secondary schools) says all I could do is harm so should shut up.
T'is a right pig.

All I can say for the primary mums is to give your kids the highest aspirations and values you can while accepting why there will always be those who cannot.

I would speak with the teacher and ask her to separate your dd from this girl both in the classroom and on the playground. There are many ways that a teacher can do both without the children realizing who the action was aimed at. My ds was getting bullied quite badly in 1st grade (age 6) and I spoke with the teacher. She immediately changed the seats of ALL the kids in the class so that ds was no longer sitting next to the bully. At recess and lunchtime for the next week, she assigned Buddies, so that each child was paired up with another child that they were meant to sit with and play with for the entire recess or lunch. She would then periodically (when she felt problems were bubbling up again), redo the same process. It was extremely effective at separating my ds from the bullies without making him feel singled out and without the bullies realizing that this was aimed at them (which could have exacerbated the problem).

Sofia
Your DS had a COOL teacher. I am impressed.
My cousin in the Albany NY School board would give their eye teeth for that.

Yes, I was very impressed with her actions. She was a young teacher and this was only her 3rd year teaching. I think maybe they are teaching the teachers as part of their course how to deal with bullies.