Preparing dd for two school moves in 2 terms

[Ladydutchalot]

Help! DD (yr 2) has just moved from a state school in the UK to a international school in NL, and has come on shockingly well (gone up 7 reading levels in half a term and now doing division, whereas before was adding in tens and units!!!)

We're going back to the UK at xmas, as I am so miserable that it is not worth staying, so she is going back to her old state school. She was not happy there previously, but she does have friends in her class, and I know all the teachers, mums etc, and it has after school provision (a must, as I will be working an hour's commute away), so we decided it was a sensible decision.

The original plan was for her to be at the IB school until the end of the year, sit a test for the local private school in Jan as we would be one of the very lucky ones to get a bursary if she got in, and she would go there, or back to her old school if she does not pass.

I do like her state school, I am not state school bashing, but if she got a 100% bursary at the other school I would jump at it, especially after seeing the effect of smaller class sizes on dd's work (I know, it could all be just "coming together", it may not be the school at all).

So, how do I a) prepare her for the shock of going from a class of 12 back to a class of 32 (of mixed age groups and mixed abilities), and b) decided whether to move her again in September? The plan was so perfect before!!!!

Tricky situation. I think though (and my 8 yr dd will be in her 4th school in 4 years next summer) that kids adapt readily at that age. You just need to tell her what's going on and that she will have to go back to her old school in the meantime but that they cannot provide a good education for her compared with the private school. Tell her she can still see her old friends but to be honest, at age 6/7, if she does go to public school, I'm sure she'll have so much fun, she'll settle in no time.

You could always Home Ed her until you know if she's in the private school or not, then you won't risk upsetting her if you need to move her out of the state school. From Christmas until the exams, it's not long is it?

How would you be guaranteed a bursary just for passing the entrance exam? Ime bursaries are usually only accessible for new pupils via scholarship (scholarship worth next to nothing but means you can also apply for a bursary). Also earnings to qualify for a bursary can be pretty low as the prep school fees are lower than for secondary.

If she was unhappy at the state school before can't you send her to the prep school now so she has a couple of terms in pre-prep. Or does it only start in year ? If the latter there must be a feeder pre-prep she could go to. That would make the transition to prep easier.

Our earnings are pretty low, our income is £12k (dp is a PhD student, and I am a student student). I want to send her to the pre-prep, but a) we can't afford 6 months fees, and b) they won't allow mid-year entries. We could manage the fees at the IB because they were £2k for the year, and my father lent me the money as he wanted her to be at an english-speaking school.

I would love to home ed her, but a) I wouldn't be strict enough, or I'd worry she would hate being at home, and b) I need to work, so can't take 6 months off. And some of her old friends are also sitting the exam, or are already there, so she is very excited about that.

Thank you both for settling my nerves. I am so worried I am going to totally screw up her education, and she will have HUGE gaps! You are fabs!!!

Our earnings are pretty low, our income is £12k (dp is a PhD student, and I am a student student). I want to send her to the pre-prep, but a) we can't afford 6 months fees, and b) they won't allow mid-year entries. We could manage the fees at the IB because they were £2k for the year, and my father lent me the money as he wanted her to be at an english-speaking school.

I would love to home ed her, but a) I wouldn't be strict enough, or I'd worry she would hate being at home, and b) I need to work, so can't take 6 months off. And some of her old friends are also sitting the exam, or are already there, so she is very excited about that.

Thank you both for settling my nerves. I am so worried I am going to totally screw up her education, and she will have HUGE gaps! You are fabs!!!

Even if you got a bursary it is highly unlikely to cover anything other than fees. I assume you have other funding to pay the rest! Have you checked with the school what the requirements are to qualify for a bursary?

We have had several meetings with the bursar and been very open about our financial situation with them, and if she gets in we would qualify for 100% fee remittance. This would be re-assessed at the upper school, but if our financial situation has changed then we will be likely to be able to afford a bigger chunk of the fees, and if it hasn't then the fee remittance should still apply.

I am aware that there are extras, but she does not need to go on the skiing trip, she does not need to leave lessons in order to play an instrument in school time when she can have lessons outside school for less, and the sports (which are the thing she wants to do most) are free. I got through a boarding school with no extras (including boarders trips, i.e. everyone went but me) as I was on 100% remittance and it was fine.

They have a second hand uniform sale every year, and the before and after school clubs are the same price as her current ones, but allow her to do her homework, which will be an immense relief, as she is currently having to do it at 7pm, or very early in the morning.

You sound very organised! I can't wait until ds is in yr 3 and can do homework at school. Sounds as if we have a similar day length. Ds spends a good 3 hours at after school club most days but there is no homework provision available in yr 2.

I would check things like instrument lessons. At ds's school they are cheaper than the local going rate (although at the other local prep school they are stonkingly expensive).