did i miss a meeting? am i failing to read between the lines here?

[SweetBeadieRussell]

Or am I just being dense?

dd1 is in reception. yesterday she brought a letter home saying that yr6 were getting the younger years involved in an art project during wet play and could we please bring in twigs & stones...thank you for your co-operation etc...

she's a creative type so i thought ok, we'll have a wander round, forage in the gloom and see what we can take in tomorrow. Got there today, big bundle of sticks in tow. Her teacher looks at me completely blankly 'er... i think that's something yr6 are doing'. i say 'yes, it's a project they're doing with the younger years, we had a letter home yesterday.' She says 'i think it's only at lunch times, so it wouldn't affect her' (dd's on half days) i say 'yes but it said wet play, so i assumed that could include morning play'. (i'm looking at the letter now, and nowhere does it mention lunchtimes).

I know it's not really a big deal, but dd got all embarrassed about being the only child to have brought things in, and I felt crap for being the one and only mother who got the wrong end of the stick, yet again. I'm worried they'll have me pigeonholed as an oddball and that this will reflect badly on her... Things like this seem to keep happening to us. i did have a word with a couple of other parents who said they didn't even get a letter, so now i look completely bonkers!

Ah bless, dont feel embarrassed - you obviously just got the "Wrong end of the stick" - no pun intended.

Our primary is terrible at parent communication so you have my sympathies. I think it's quite common for one teacher or dept not to know what the other is doing unfortunately. Don't worry about looking like an oddball - i'm sure most teachers would rather have parents that get involved.

Despite us receiving a letter saying DSs don't need lights on their bikes if they cycle with a parent, they got 'told off' by the bike inspector for not having them and DS2 was inconsolable - and i could go on.....

It's an honest mistake ... and you've just done the school a favour by providing extra stuff - they won't see you as an oddball, don't worry

Schools do have a tendancy (ime) to write letters that seem clear to them ...but are actually not. So steel yourself for years of this to come...

glad it's not just me...

i just feel like you need a sixth sense or something to figure out what's really going on from one day to the next! Letters home seem to be written in code...

In another example, we got a slip a few weeks ago about show and tell, again 'please bring in something along this theme...' I spend the evening trying to convince dd that she needs to choose something to take in the next day, she's absolutely certain that it's the day after (there's no date or even day of the week printed on the letter of course) dd manages to argue me down and we turn up empty handed only to find that every other child has brought something in. DD inconsobable. So I suppose this time around i was trying to prevent a repeat scenario... oh the irony. i'm too tired for all this

inconsolable, even

Oh and let's not forget the christmas shoe box appeal 'boxes need to be in by 5th November' and somehow every other parent magically knows that this actually translates as 'make sure they're in before 22nd October as that's when they're being collected'. We turn up on 1st November with ours, and i'm sure you can guess the rest by now...

why oh why is it always us?

Oh gawd our school is like this too... it's like flipping code-breaking.
The teachers never seem to know what letters the office are sending out, and whoever updates the website is on a different planet again.

They also tend to forget that you may have more than one child at the school, so send a 'parentmail' e-mail or text saying "your child will need X for the Y visit tomorrow" and I end up having to phone them to say "which child?"

They also arrange concerts and class assemblies but forget to tell parents (assuming that a 7 year old child will successfully relay a message ) and then get shirty when nobody turns up!

it's baffling itn't it? i'm thinking of going down the route of ignoring 90% of what comes home, and adopting the 'mwuh?' expression some of the other parents have at our school, no doubt it'll be the wrong 90%!

Don't worry-just a complete lack of communication. I expect the yr 6 teacher would have greeted you with open arms!

The thing that annoys me it that my DSS's school hardly ever put dates on letters so if he's been at him mums for a while and there's a few old letters in his bag we have no idea whether the letter is relevent!

Sounds like your DDs teacher should have been a bit more grateful that you were trying to help.

I expect the year 6s would be annoyed that reception classes had taken no notice!

Happened to me all the time. We were always turning up with the wrong things on the wrong days or the wrong weeks, or getting things in too late (but hte letter said.... it can't have because we needed them last week etc - the worst thing is getting home after an exchange like that, finding hte letter and finding YOU WERE RIGHT AND THEY WERE WRONG!!!).

Primary School huh , who'd 'ave 'em

I telephoned dd's school to explain why she would have to leave early the following day. I asked if they needed it in writing and was assured by the receptionist that all was ok and that she would email dd's head of year so no further action required by me.
When dd then came to leave the person on reception wouldn't let her go!!! despite a signed note from the person who was collecting her.
Eventually after much wrangling the original receptionist was found and dd allowed to leave.

Our school (lovely) just isn't great at the communication thing either, and I don't how to play things now.

Talk about time looked kind of optional in the first letter and I forgot to pick up the prepared thing, and then felt like I looked like a crap mum cos everyone else had something.

Yesterday a reading book came home (first ever) with a book to write remarks in. No other communication. I was brave and wrote something in book and sent it back with dd today and overheard the TA say to another parent "oh it's ok we expect them to have it a couple of nights". So why not say so?, now I feel stupidly keen.

So I feel your pain!

Welcome to the world of school letters. Often find they miss out some vital piece of information, only give short notice and sometimes contradict previous letters.

Examples are Y1 parent handbook " under no circumstances should a child bring toys from home into school". Child arrives home and says "we need to take a toy into school tomorrow for show and tell". No time to clarify which is right so my child is only one who doesn't bring in a toy.

School trip letter says "children to wear full school uniform". Child comes home day before trip and says " we are allowed to wear tracksuit trousers". Well I'm not falling for that story so full school uniform was worn as in the letter. My child was only one without track suit trousers!

Don't think this makes me a bad parent but schools are poor at communication and need to improve.

I thought it was just DD1's school! They do this ALL THE TIME. The last school trip letter basically said "we will be going to XX on this date, it will cost XX." There was no mention of uniform/non, spending money, cameras/not, wet weather gear, extra snacks/drinks, NOTHING. It was like bloody chinese whispers. I swear there's a secret handshake club where only the PTA and their close friends are allowed to know everything.
I hate it when they rely on the child to pass the message on, especially when it's something implausible ie "We all have to take in a toy/wear old clothes tomorrow". My DD can't keep a thought in her head and lives in cloud cuckoo land so I never know what's true.

My OH is parent governor and we still don't always understand what is going on!

It was a bit easier in KS1 when you had to drop your child off at the classroom and you could check with the teacher.

School does also send texts home but these usually say don't forget xxxx is happening this afternoon/tomorrow. Would be more useful if they put the day or date especially as I don't check my texts everyday!

I've not yet been forgiven by my ds2 for sending him in dressed in a monkey costume when it wasn't his year in fancy dress

I've ruined his life he says

Luckily he did have school uniform on underneath

at "wrong end of the stick" pun.

Schools try to be clear in their notes but it doesn't always work like that. DS's school tried to flog tickets for the Halloween Disco but with no mention and when it was happening. Eventually I got a date but no time. After asking other mums found out it was after school.

Yet even after all that saga I still forgot to send DS in with a costume. Good job he wasn't bothered.

Our school is hopeless at communication. The letters are always unclear, often late and in some DC's bags and not others.

I think it's good for children to be made aware that the school, like their parents and the children themselves are not always good at being clear and sometimes get things wrong. Have respect for authority but not blind respect. We are all human.