Are there any disadvantages to not living close to the school?

[Fruitgums]

Hi all,

Really hope that you can help me as I need some advice. I?m in the process of choosing an infant/primary school for my DS (2011 attendance). I have visited all of three schools that I am interested in. 2 of them are within 1 mile of where we live whilst my favourite and probably No.1 choice is about 3.5 miles away (really liked the school, good reputation and it has breakfast & after school club) which I am planning to use.

In short:

School A ? age 4-11, good reputation, good OFSTED, breakfast & after school club BUT 3.5 miles away.

School B ? age 4-7, outstanding OFSTED, no breakfast club, around 0.6mile away

School C ? age 4-7, good OFSTED, breakfast & after school club but I do not really like the junior school that this is attached to?? and I?ll have to apply once he is 7. School is 0.4 miles away.

I?m hoping that he will get into my first choice ? school A. I work full time and will continue to do so once DS is in school. I am planning on dropping him at the breakfast club and will have to use a childminder 3 days a week for school pick up. The other two days I?m planning to pick him up myself and to arrange play dates etc.

My question is do you think that he will at a disadvantage because he will not be living locally? I do not mind the extra driving to take him to play dates etc. However, I am worried that the other kids will not come over to play dates at ours as we are a bit of a distance away.

Am I making sense? Or am I slowly going mad and insane with the choosing the right school for my DS?!

TIA xxx

I would say choose the school you really want and don't worry about the distance. I moved my children from our very local school (50 metres from our door) to one about 5 miles away (semi rural area though). I never regretted it, or worried about the journey.

The journey quickly becomes routine, and I got the timing down to a fine art! I did a lot of ferrying around on play dates, but accepted this as part of the deal. I never found people were unwilling to come out to our house, though I did offer to take children home afterwards if needed.

The only times I worried about the journey were times when my car was dodgy or it was snowing - too far to walk and no bus to catch instead. But that happened maybe a couple of times in the 9 years my children were at the school in total.

Overall, having confidence in the school seemed the more important thing.

I think that part of the whole experience of being that age, though, is about making friends and having a social life. And having local friends is an important part of that.

I am, incidentally, quite keen on education overall and have a degree and everything, it's not that I think school is completely insignificant in a child's life. But certainly at primary level there are other important considerations.

I'd go for school B. Walkable and all the advantages of being local. Just use the childminder for mornings and afternoons 3 days a week. You could also ask school B what the parents generally use for wraparound care. There may be a drop-off/pick-up arrangement with another local school/nursery or with childminders specifically who do this.

I am more than happy for my DS to go to School B but will still have the same problem about the local junior school when he needs to move once he's 7.

I'm not overly worried about the level of social class that attends School A (located in Surrey). Surely that shouldn't be an issue when it comes to choosing a school?

I have asked School B regarding the type of daycare that the mum's are using. Most of them are being picked up by their mummies but 1-2 have childminders.

Woahwoah, my favourite school is based in a semi-rural area. I would love my DS to enjoy school and make friends etc but would hate to think that he feels he's missing out by not living locally. How did your kids cope with the distance? Did they miss out on playdates etc? Much has been said about the social interaction outside of school - did you find that to be an issue?

Should social class be an issue? No.

Might it be? Yes it might, if people live in an area where houses routinely cost £1.5m then I might expect more in the way of lavish birthday presents, kids having lots of stuff because their parents are rich etc etc.

That's all I meant really, just something to consider.

Where we are it is the norm for children in year 6 to walk themselves to school (or catch the bus). Those that still arrive with parents are looked down on !! Even most with younger siblings walk on there own with mum 200 meters behind. Worth checking out if this is the case at school A

Hi, Fruitgums!

I didn't find that my children had problems with the distance really. They had lots of school friends who came to tea - we took them home with us after school, and either their parents picked them up or I took them home, if there were likely to be any transport problems (eg parents of friends had no car, or other small children to bring with them for pick up). I don't think any parents ever refused play dates because we lived at a distance. Equally, my children got asked back to tea - I was always careful to be clear I would do the driving home if necessary.

Both my children also had friends on our street whom they played with in evenings / holidays, and they also made friends at cubs / brownies etc, so they did know local children too.

They had plenty of social interaction outside school - certainly as much as I could cope with! Living close to a school isn't a guarantee that your child will make good friends anyway - that depends on all sorts of factors.

I think the distance thing seems a big issue until you have been doing it for a few weeks - then it's just your routine and seems normal IYSWIM.

But I was a big fan of the school they went to, and that was more important to me than the 'convenience' of being close to the school. Which is why I have said the quality of the school is the important thing (and for me it was the pastoral care rather than academic excellence that was most important - though it was a good school academically too!)

Hi, my children go to a school which is 5-6 miles away, we did not get any of our local choices (big intake in ds' year) and we were allocated a terrible school, which we subsequently managed to swap when we found places at the school they are currently at.

Their school has turned out to be really lovely, the distance does not really bother me, in an ideal world I would like to walk there or have a 2 minute car journey, but the standard of the school is far more important imho and as the pp said, it just becomes routine. We always offer to drive friends home, but have never had a problem with playdates etc. We were even offered a place at our first choice school at the beginning of term (ds in Y1, dd in YR) but turned it down as we were so happy. I would definitely go with the feel of the school (wrap around care is important to me too to a certain degree). Ds plays with the local children too, in our small estate of houses children go to 5 different primary schools, it's ridiculous but they all play together at weekends and if anything, it gives them a break from friendships etc.

It does get annoying sometimes when you have to drive to school, then go back in the evening for an event/disco/parent's evening etc etc, but these are rare and on the whole it is not a problem.

Saying all that, where I live in Surrey, you would never get into an outstanding Ofsted school if you lived 3.5 miles away, you would stand no chance (we did not get into a "good" school 0.5 miles from us !) But worth putting as first choice, you have nothing to lose.

Good luck,

Helen

Clary,
My DH & I have considered that very same issue! DH has the potential to earn a good salary but our problem is that he has just qualified and my career has taken nosedive since I had DS and hasn?t really recovered from that :( In short, birthday presents etc will be what we can afford at that current time. I have no interest in competing or trying match presents either for DS or his potential friends. As for DS, it?ll be probably be a tough lesson for him in that he can?t have everything that he wants! But hey he's got to learn that.......

Mebaasmum,
thanks for your suggestion, I?ll look in to that.

Woahwoah,
thanks for your reply and for sharing your experience. There is sound advice there! Thanks for the tips of suggesting that I drop his friends off if their parents have issues with driving etc. that?s a really good point. I share your sentiments exactly in that I am choosing a school mostly for their pastoral care and the fact that it?s doing well academically is an added bonus :)

Helen,
School A that is 3.5miles away is classed as ?good? and based on the last 2 years of reception admission, my DS would have got in. Mainly because majority of the local children attend private schools. Of course there is no guarantee that he would get in next year but like you said there is no harm in applying. The ?outstanding? school (school B) is very close to where I live and based on the last 4 years of admissions, he would have got in. In an ideal world he would go to School B but I?m reluctant to send him to the local junior and would rather have a school from ages 4-11. My DS takes a while to settle in and doesn?t like change and hence my preference. I will enroll him in cubs etc so you are right in that he?ll know some local kids ? something which I have considered for him to do but didn?t associate with this issue.

Also, I just wanted to say thanks for your all of your time and replies ? I am pleasantly surprised by your responses.

I wouldn't worry too much about location - the school itself is much more important

I drive DD to school each morning and it takes 15-18 minutes. Allows us to have a proper conversation and, if necessary, allows DD to get her homework/reading done in peace!

Disadvantages are when:

when you have been chucking up all night and still have to take him to school

when your car breaks down

when they ring you to come and get him because he is chucking up

I'll tell you a story that will make you feel better. I am 5 months preg and we need to apply for my son's primary place for next year by 15 Jan. Called the Admissions Team at the council and they told us we hadn't a hope of getting in to either of the good primaries (which are easily less than a mile away). We need to live less than 700 meters away to guarantee getting in because they are so oversubscribed!!!! Yes we live in London. Luckily we rent so we are hastily packing up to move to a smaller maisonette 300 m from the school. Crazy! If we didn't we would either have to take a place in a 3rd school which had a really bad Ofsted report or get bumped into Surrey. We only found this out last Monday.

In some parts of Surrey kids do travel about quite a bit, so that might not be such an issue. (And yes kids do walk 30 mins to one infants because their parents prefer it to the one on their doorstep, whilst other kids are making the reverse journey.)

I would suggest you think about secondaries. Two issues; are there any state ones in your area which you want your child to go to? Second will most of the children (or a lot) be going private? If you don't want, won't be able to afford private, do be aware of the emotional pressures you may face.

Also do be prepared to go out of your way to make friends and get involved with the school.

Butkin, our journey by car will also be around 15mins.

Cory, thanks for that, I have considered all that

Bollandbear, good luck with the move. It's very lucky that you found out this info when you did!

Mummytime, I am prepared to make an effort & make friends but know that I will struggle as I'm shy. Also, I do not make friends very easily but will still try for my DS's sake.
There is a fab secondary and this school is a feeder to it. Unfortunately the admission to this school may be changing by the time my DS applies. There are 2 other secondary schools which are good. I have that base covered already

We live 5 miles away from our primary school. We are in a feeder to our 2nd nearest high school. Long story but we couldn't get into feeders for our local high school due to immigration, local catchment primary feeds into another crap improving school miles away....so we live in a bit of a black hole. Diocese has told everyone to move from parish if they want a reasonably local high school education. We have strict feeder school system and due to ongoing building work I was unable to move house before my DD turned 3.

In all honesty, it's been the best thing to happen to us. School has been brilliant and much better than those close by. We are planning to move near to school and we will be able to get more for our money. There's lots of school clubs so child is able to mix with friends there and at the weekends we're so busy with swimming/ballet/music lessons that we don't really have time for 'playdates'.

We use public transport and even if we were to be offered a place in another school (we wouldn't be as we aren't on any waiting lists) nearer I would turn it down as I am so impressed with the school we have.

Originally I was worried about the distance (DD has SN) but it's just part of our lives. Also living where we are, all the facilities for families are about 3 miles away anyway so used to travelling for stuff like mums and toddlers/pre-school etc it was just the extra 2 miles or so....

Thanks Shoshana. It's always positive to know that not everyone lives on the doorstep to their DC's school.