Mrs Worryguts (again) Party invites and your DS or DD not invited

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Ok - Im the stresshead of a Mummy with DD in reception class - so this is all new.

Invitations were given out today - not one to DD who clearly thought this particular child was her friend. DD little face just dropped.

Ok - so if this happened to you guys - What did you do? What did you say?

Thanks again for all your help

xxxx

Oh dear.

Welcome to the horror.

Do you know what I just cannot thank this website and some of the people on here enough.

Yes its trully horrific Hullygully and Stewie you are right - these little ones that were invited all went to playschool together.. Its so hard entering this big world!!! of Big school.
Thanks so much

Oh Stewie - thanks lovely.. You have made me smile x

The problem with parties is that unless you have a very small class it is unlikely you can invite everyone. And especially with parties in reception, there may well be other friends/family to be invited as well.

Is a minefield both from point of view of party giver and party goer.

I think the right thing to do is be as subtle as you can if you are the party doer. Hand invitations out at the end of the day (preferably on a Friday). Therefore the kids are not looking for their invitations. Also, if your kid has not been invited, I say something like "oh thats the day we are going to xxx" (and try to do something a quite nice!). It is horrible though!

I invited all the girls from DD's class to her party last year. Between reception, year 1 and the rest of her friends it worked out at about 18. It seemed the fairest way, but then, generally speaking the parents tend to ask the teacher to put the invites into book bags without the children seeing.

Having said that, I saw a girl from DD's class and year giving out invitations this week just before school started and DD didn't get one, so not sure what's going on there. Luckily DD didn't notice, but I thought it was a really insensitive and selfish thing to do tbh.

Reception DD is already advance planning her party (February!!). I've told her she can have 8 children. (out of a pool of 56 Reception children including 24 girls) Other than 1 or 2 constants I basically get 8 different names each time she is going through her "list".

When her party comes round I will just have to go with the 8 current favourites, which may well mean an "equally liked" child misses out.

Of course when my DC are the ones not being invited, I am not so rational :)

same age, I've had DD have her nose rubbed in it by the little minx who had always had a problem with her, & turned out deliberately hadn't invited her to her up coming party, that ALL the rest of the class WAS invited too....DD didn't notice at first, neither did , so the little s@d then made a point of suddenly befriending DD, by playing hurt & upset & DD is a sucker for a sob story, so took to looking after her.........

little minx even announced loudly to me at home time, that she was so sorry that she hadn't invited DD, I thought it was a past party, & said "oh don't worry, I'm sure they'll be other parties".....until another Mum suddenly looked quite cross & piped up, don't worry, she'll be coming to my DCs house instead that day.....she then told me quietly that the party was the up coming weekend ....DD handled it EXTREMELY well, & I was very proud of her for that, she even made a point of inviting the same Girl to her own full class party, as she "wasn't playing those silly mean games"

So yes, can be a complete mind field from both sides, & some Kids can be little oiks & use it, but in the greater scheme of things, it is ALL good learning experience for our Kids, & helps them grow into well adjusted adults who know life isn't always fair, but can deal with that :).....even if we do sometimes feel like screaming at the time

God Rocking I could have written that post, my dd had her nose rubbed in it too but was totally fab and I too am very proud.

The little girl in question is now grilling dd about her party and my dd is also a sucker for a sob story being only 5.Now if it was up to me....... but I guess I should be leading by example,not exactly sure what to do when the time comes.

Re the party she wasn't invited to I just said how odd then some kids aren't true friends,value you your real friends. My mother took her out for lunch and gave her a fab day, bought her a Lush bath bomb . Said party was old news. Worked a treat and dd learnt one of life's hard lessons.

Sorry for the bad grammar etc,in a rush

I should add they get over it very quickly.

Brilliant - thanks again everyone for their experiences - You are sooo right - its one big learning curve.. They just seem so small to be hurt...

We are having a Halloween gathering with a few "friends" which DD is really excited about.

Had chat with DH who said we have to ride it through and until DD said that she doesnt want to go to school we really dont have anything to worry about.

Oh my goodness we have another 14years of this!!! arrggghhhhh

Yes I have to say little girls and their mothers have been a bit of an eye opener.DD has older brothers and believe me it's soooo much easier with boys. You don't seem to get all this. As you say 14 more years of this-yay !!!