Would they be cross with me if I asked to change DD's class?

[Bodenbabe]

DD (8) really misses her best friend since they got separated into different classes (just luck of the draw, they weren't separated for a reason). It's giving her all sorts of problems and I wish she could be with her friend again. I'm sure they wouldn't consider swapping her but I wanted to ask on the off-chance - but do you think they'd be really cross with me and would see me as a troublesome parent for even asking?

i think they would just laugh it off tbh!

you'd be better off teaching your dd that life is like this sometimes. at 8 she's well old enough to understand. i bet there are many parents who would like their dc to swap classes......you would be setting a precedent for everyone else.....unless you expect it to happen just for you?

They have been trained to communicate with parents and i'm sure are used to dealing with more troublesome requests!
If u dont ask u dont get, and i'm sure if u explained your reasons they'd understand, and swap her, i dont see why they wouldnt, but if they dont i'm sure they'd explain exactly why they couldnt and put your mind at rest either way. Its your responsibility to do whats right for your child, dont be afraid to be heard!

There's no harm in asking, but bear in mind that what you're effectively requesting is for somebody else's child to be moved out of the other class (where they may be perfectly happy) to make a space for your daughter. I doubt the school will agree - not least because it could then become a free for all as other parents ask for their child to move class.

It's probably a better option to help your daughter make new friends in her current class and remind her that she will (I presume) see her friend at playtime and lunch.

It sounds odd that it was a random split. Is that what they told the parents? Seems a waste of a good opportunity to level up the classes in terms of age, sex, ability range etc.

Perfect time to give her the good old lesson that ife just ain't fair IMO. Seriously kids need to learn to get over things like this to have the capability to be able to handle worse disappoinments in later life.

i would ask. the worst they can say is no

I'd ask

I asked for my daughter to be moved this year due to friendship issues. She'd been in a class for years where there were on-off problems with catty, cliquey girls and she had no reliable friendships, then there was a rearrangement and she made some new friends. We noticed a big difference in her happiness and in how much she was settled. The following year, they planned to move everyone back to their original classes, so she'd be back in with the old cows girls. I asked if she could be moved to be with her new friends. Class sizes were similar and no-one had to swap with her, so she was moved and continues to be happy. Result !

So why not ask?

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. Yes it was a genuinely random split.

Sprinkledust, no I don't expect it to happen just for me, that's why I said I was sure they wouldn't consider it. MadamCastafiore, it's not as simple as "get over it" - if it was, there wouldn't be a problem :) Smallbunchofflowers, that's a very good point about asking another child to move - I hadn't thought of that and that would, of course, be unfair. I suppose I was thinking that the other class could have one extra child rather than swapping, but I see that's probably not practical. PlanetEarth, that's great that they accomodated your daughter, I'm so pleased it worked out for you!

Bodenbabe - they may say no in order to prevent a deluge of parents wanting their children to move classes.

I know our HT has been asked by parents this term to consider moving 2 or 3 pupils and she has said no.
Her rational is that
a) we consider classes very carefully when we organise them in the summer term
b) if she says yes to one parent (where the move may be problem free) it puts her in a difficult position when another parent (where their child is in a certain class for specific reasons) asks, as the precedent has been set.

Also, as a class teacher it is unfair if you end up with a significantly larger class because pupils are being moved.

They have a good idea of how to organise the classes but in practice it doesn't work for younger ones. They all get asked to write down 5 children they'd like to be with and so they try to get each child at least with one of their choices. In practice a great idea, but at this age a lot of them tend to just write down whoever they're sitting next to, or whoever they played with that day! They don't think ahead of the implications of writing a particular name.

Ajumpeduppantryboy has hit the nail on the head. If this is a KS2 class then the lagal limit of 30 per class doesn't apply, but even so there might be very good reasons (space, layout of classroom, number of desks) why the school wouldn't want (say) 28 or 29 in one class and 21 or 32 in the other.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but if the root problem is that your daughter is so dependent on the other girl that she cannot cope without her there in the class, I think you would do much better to work with her teacher on bolstering her confidence and helping her make other friends.

you can ask but i think the fact that your DD is pining for her friend is a good argument to say that they SHOULD be separated
Besides she will see her friend in the playground surely, the classroom isn't necesssarily the place for best friends.

My DD had friends in other classes, but it's a bit rough when your child always seems to be the one left over when pairing up for class activities, trips, etc.. Even the time they go in for lunch can differ by class, so they may not be able to sit next to friends from other classes at lunch.