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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

reassure me-dd1 will learn to read eventually won't she? even though she hates reading with me?

16 replies

CatIsSleepy · 15/10/2010 13:44

and I have no clue if they're teaching her anything at school?

helping my children with reading was one of the fond visions of parenthood I had in my head before I had kids...well dd1 has never wanted to know about reading with me, only being read to, which is fair enough I suppose. So have not tried to push the issue.

I guess I thought when she started school that that might change-so far it hasn't. I'm trying to take a laid back approach but am singularly useless at being laid back. No idea if she's learning anything at school, they send a reading book back with her every week (for her to have a go at reading) and a booklet to write comments in, but the teachers don't seem to write anything in it so I have no idea of how dd1 tackles reading at school or what they do to encourage it.

aargh. does it matter??

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JandT · 15/10/2010 13:51

It will happen as if she wasn't reading and it was a problem they'd soon let you know!!

I'd keep reading to her and get her to 'fill in' some words-makes it a game.

Don't worry though-in reception class my sister was put into SEN levels for her reading. A week off sick with my Mum and a baby brother and, she was reading fine. In fact by Year 1 she was ahead of the rest. Once she wants to she'll be begging you to read together all the time!

One thing though, as the step/adoptive mother of a 9 year old boy who's not at all like me and the new mum of a 3 month old, visions catch up with you!

Original poster

CatIsSleepy · 15/10/2010 13:51

and apart from the reading book which we rarely read because it annoys dd1 so much there's no other homework at all. And i saw my friend today who says her dd (different school) gets something EVERY day (which I think is a bit much really).

OP posts:

Malaleuca · 15/10/2010 13:52

Yes of course it matters! You have a sense of unease and seem to have nil information from school about your part or about what she has learnt! You need to inform yourself.

AMumInScotland · 15/10/2010 13:53

If I was you, I'd arrange to meet with the teacher to find out what they are doing in school, what the teacher expectes/wants you to do at home, and explain that she doesn't seem to want to do it with you at the moment.

At DSs school, they had a meeting for the new parents not long into the term to explain all that to everyone in one go, but it doesn't sound like yours have explained very well (or at all!)

GrimmaTheNome · 15/10/2010 13:54

Well, I had real struggles with DD reading to me, but now she can read anything. (I still have to read to her though!)

But I - and more importantly she - knew what the school expected in this regard. You should see the teacher and get it clarified, also if the teacher can explain to your DD that she's meant to read at home then its not just you nagging IYSWIM, which can be very helpful

nikki1978 · 15/10/2010 13:55

I was concerned that DD couldn't read a word halfway through the reception year so went to see the teacher who told me she was struggling with phonics and suggested we teach her to memorise the entire word. After that she got better. When she started Y1 there was a meeting and we were told we needed to try and read with our children every night and homework started getting given out then too.

You need to go and see the teacher if you are concerned. Chances are she will catch up and be fine but don't leave it to chance.

DreamTeamGirl · 15/10/2010 13:57

Is she just in Year R?
Honestly she doesn't need to be reading yet, just read to her and point out the odd word and it will come

And your friends DC shouldn't be getting homework, FGS they are BABIES!!!

Original poster

CatIsSleepy · 15/10/2010 14:03

tbh i was expecting some kind of meeting with the parents and teachers where they would explain what they would be doing with the kids but it hasn't happened.
In the booklet they sent back it does give tips for reading at home with them but it's the lack of feedback I find unsettling.
Was wondering if I would seem too pushy if I spoke to the teacher and demanded to know what they are teaching her

'You should see the teacher and get it clarified, also if the teacher can explain to your DD that she's meant to read at home then its not just you nagging IYSWIM, which can be very helpful' grimma that's a good idea

OP posts:

ragged · 15/10/2010 14:05

Our school does have meetings like that for kids in reception. I think it'd be reasonable for you to ask them about your reading concerns, OP, they will probably tell you to encourage but not push it.

She is 4yo, just let her listen to you for now. The more she enjoys reading with you the more she will want to do it on her own.

AMumInScotland · 15/10/2010 14:12

I'd avoid concepts like "demand" if you want to develop a positive cooperative relationship with the teacher. But "enquire" would be fine

cory · 15/10/2010 14:19

Dd absolutely loathed reading to me in Reception: she would stare at the floor, at the ceiling, anywhere but in the book. I tried to keep it low key and carried on reading aloud to her, to make sure that she enjoyed literature, even if she wasn't reading. By Yr 2 something clicked, by the end of Yr 4 she was an absolutely voracious reader, by age 12 she kept re-reading Vanity Fair and Bleak House for pleasure.

Ds (10) is still a fairly reluctant reader: he will read when he has too or if anything is really interesting to him (football magazine), but not what you might call reading for pleasure. I am still reading aloud to him, hoping to foster a need for good literature.

tbh I think they were both too tired at the end of the day when they were 4 to cope with doing more work; I made conciliatory noises to the teacher, but in my heart of hearts I understood them.

magicmummy1 · 15/10/2010 14:22

she'll get the hang of it in time - just keep it fun! :)

Original poster

CatIsSleepy · 15/10/2010 15:05

'Dd absolutely loathed reading to me in Reception: she would stare at the floor, at the ceiling, anywhere but in the book.' cory, dd1 is just the same. Am trying to keep it low-key and reading to her and all of that...and yes she is knackered after school, plus I work 4 days a week and don't see her til 6 by which time she is good for nothing.

i guess I am just worried that this will go on indefinitely! seems like other children started off like this then got the hang of later on though so that is reassuring, thanks

OP posts:

MaMoTTaT · 15/10/2010 17:42

don't worry at all. Honestly, I stressed over it with DS1, every attempt to read with him ended in tears and tantrums. He didn't really click with reading until near the end of YR1.

He's 10 now...........and I have to go and check him at night to make sure he's not staying up really really late reading and apart from writing impossibly long sentences with no punctuation (rather like his mother ) he's doing really really well with literacy - try not to panic

SoupDragon · 15/10/2010 17:45

I felt like this with my PFB. He could barely read on leaving reception. however, part way through Y1 everything fell into place and he was off. They had taught him how to read rather than just to read words IYSWIM and once it had all clicked, he could read anything.

I just let them get on with it with DS2 and will let them with DD now she's in reception too.

blowninonabreeze · 15/10/2010 18:05

I posted about my reception aged DD a few weeks ago as she wasn't being read with at school and I was pretty much doing it on my own. I was concerned I was going about it wrong.

It the past 2 weeks she seems to have clicked.

About half an hour after getting in from school, once she's had a snack and got changed etc I sit on the sofa with her and DD2 and we do "reading time" I set the kitchen timer for 30 minutes and promise them that we will do nothing other than read stories until the buzzer goes, they love it as they have my undivided attention, and the only 'rule' is that DD1 has to read her reading book during that time, she chooses when she does it in the half hour, and at this stage she's on pretty simple sentance on each page books so it only actually takes a few minutes. I've found she's much more receptive to it doing it that way, as she was reluctant to read just her reading book.

Her reading has really really come on and I try to get her to sound out words in the stories we're reading as well periodically.

However it helps that she's only on half days until Christmas, I'm not sure that she'd be so up for it after a full day at school, she's tired enough just doing the half days

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