what to ask and Not to ask at parents' evening.

[caffeinated]

We have parents evening approaching and I really want to make good use of my 5 minutes with the teacher but without coming across too pushy.

Ds's education is important to me and I want to be able to support him any way I can. Last year at parents evening every question I asked got the same response from the teacher. Ultimately that he is doing fine. But no indication as to whether it was fine compared to the average 5 year old or fine for him. At the end of year I asked to see his eyfs profile to get a better indication of his progress. He scored 8/9 in all areas except for writing so over the summer we did fun writing activities with different media chalk, paints etc and I saw a huge improvement very quickly with my support.

Are they grouped by standard of achievement or mixed group ability?

Which nc level is he currently working at?

Has the teacher set him any specific goals for the year?

At what nc levels would she expect him to working at at tif years end?

Any suggestions of anything else I could ask to stop me being fobbed off with a smile and the word fine, like my childs education isn't really my business.

I don't want to know how he is doing in comparison to his class mates just how he is doing in general terms but without coming across as pushy. Would these questions come over as pushy?

The one I always ask is 'What can I do to help him?' Sometimes it allows the teacher to open up a bit and show you how they like them to do things so your child isn't, for example, shown one way to form letters at home and another at school.

Also at this stage try not to compare too much with the other children. Some find reading really easy but can't get the hang of writing (like ds1) and some are the other way round (like ds2). Some find everything easy, some find everything quite difficult, but with support they should all get there in the end!

Sorry, forgot this. Also ask about the social side, and how he gets on with other children. This can be quite telling too!!

How is he doing?
How is he getting on with the rest of the class?
How can I help him at home?

And listen to the answers, and the way they are given. I agree "fine" doesn't give you much to go on, but "Oh gosh, he's doing fine I've no worries about him" means - really you don't have to ask he's doing well.

Same with how he gets on with others - fine is, well, fine. But "well, there've been a few issues but we're geting there" means there are some issues, so you could follow up with "How can I support what you're doing about that?"

You don't really need to ask the "nc levels at year's end" question if you're pushed for time - just add two sub-levels to where he's currently at (so a 1c would be a 1a) etc for the "standard" picture (hah-hah what kid's standard?!)

I think they'd come over possibly as being a little, shall we say, overstressed to be honest! If he left the foundation stage getting 8s and 9s he's doing beyond fine!

Basically you want to know if he's where he should be, if he's settled down and is behaving himself and if he's getting on with everyone else in the class and what you can do at home to back things up/work on weaker areas... don't get too bogged down in the educational jargon and Governmental alphabet soup and just ask that... and don't get into a comparison with the other kids really - as long as the progress curve against himself is consistent (and it sounds like he's starting at quite a high point) - that's what really matters.

Bobblehat, thanks. I don't really compare him to others because like you say no 2 kids progress the same way. I did ask last year what I could do hep him and she said it'd be useful for him to learn the letter names of capital letters because they wouldn't be covering that as a class. I will ask about the social side because he doesn't mention that himself much.

Mum in Scotland. Thanks. I guess last year she was trying to say he's doing fine as in doing well but I read it as in he's doing fine very average no cause for concern. Which I took as not so helpful.

emptyshell: Excellent. I shall write your suggestions on the back of my hand!!

FWIW, our school tells parents the NC levels without parents having to ask. Perhaps you'll find that your school does the same?

I tell them generally, and where they should be headed for the end of the year - but I often find teacher parents in particular ask not to bother with them and just are they behaving themselves!

They definitely only ever inform the parents of nc levels at the end of year 2. The school has 50% achieving level 3 in ks1 sats so I know they're doing a terrific job they just really cagey about sharing info with parents. I had to ask to see early years profile and the teacher was obviously surprised I did so. But that is what gave me the best idea of how he is doing.