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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Do the children also attend parent's evening at your school?

24 replies

LublieAva · 14/10/2010 11:03

I mean so that they are right there as one of the people in the meeting, not playing outside somewhere.
At my school they do this and TBH I find it a bit odd.

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elphabadefiesgravity · 14/10/2010 11:05

Absolutely not, I wouldn't want them to. In fact I would not allow them to.

mankyscotslass · 14/10/2010 11:05

They attend with the parents from YR3 in our school, but not before.

Twit · 14/10/2010 11:09

yes and it seemed weird at first but to be honest it is really helpful WRT childcare as they can come..

BeerTrixSixSixPotter · 14/10/2010 11:09

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Original poster

LublieAva · 14/10/2010 11:12

my DC attend. I find it slows things down a lot (and you onyl get a few minutes anyway). But mostly I don't like it because I can't ask anything that i wouldn't want the child to hear.

OP posts:

Original poster

LublieAva · 14/10/2010 11:14

(such as "I think this writing looks a mess. Is this normal? If not, is DS being lazy or what do you think?

OP posts:

roadkillbunny · 14/10/2010 11:52

No, never in the meeting, if you have no childcare they can stay in the hall with the head while you talk to the teacher, I would not want dd to hear what is said at parents night as we have and will do again used that time to finalise her IEP, dd is Y1 and doesn't know she has in IEP and I don't want her to, I don't want her to know what is said between her teacher, dh and myself, it would do more harm then good.
I can see as she gets older (KS2) that if she still needs an IEP (they don't think she will be who knows) she would be entitled to be in on it but before then no way do I want her to know there is anything different with her.

MassiveKnob · 14/10/2010 11:52

ours are allowed to attend but I choose not to take them in.

Original poster

LublieAva · 14/10/2010 13:00

so far I'm the only one for whom its mandatory then?

OP posts:

elphabadefiesgravity · 14/10/2010 20:17

Both of dd's parents evenings this year clash with her dance classes (you get a choice of two dates) so I am hoping to get an appointment that fits around dropping her off and picking her up as the dance school is 2 mins walk away from her school.

How on earth can they make it mandatory? I just wouldn't take them, say they have a piano lesson or it is past their bedtime or something!

Original poster

LublieAva · 14/10/2010 20:28

it is mandatory and they have to wear school uniform.
I really don't know why.

Does no one else have parent-child-teacher meetings instead of parent's evening? Can anyone think why they might genuinely be a good idea?

OP posts:

bruffin · 14/10/2010 20:31

DD only was included in year 6 and that was newly introduced that year for yr 6 only.
At secondary we are encouraged to bring dcs.

CoinOperatedGirl · 14/10/2010 20:34

I sometimes take dc's, depending on dp's shift pattern. It isn't compulsory, but isn't frowned upon either afaik. I would have to book a slot other days if children were not allowed as we don't have anyone to watch them.

PoorlyConstructed · 14/10/2010 20:40

DS's previous school banned DCs at parents' evening. When he first started I was a single parent with no evening childcare so I just took him with me and let him play his DS in the corridor outside the classroom.

NoahAndTheWhale · 14/10/2010 20:41

Don't actually know what the procedure is here (new school as we moved in June) but I will be taking other child with me for both parents' evenings. There are two evenings and as both DS and DD are in small classes, their teachers are only doing one evening. Sadly not the same one.

DS's is on his Beavers night and DD's her Rainbows night so have arranged them for part way through the meetings. So will have other child with me but hopefully they won't be as interested.

Original poster

LublieAva · 14/10/2010 20:41

The reality for us is that its a convenient device for the teacher to hide behind. If she wants to avoid answering difficult questions, she just runs through the usual statistics and then talks to the child instead until the time is almost up. Then with 30 seconds to go its "any questions, but errr.. there are other parents waiting you know" and we're shuffling ourselves out the door.

OP posts:

elphabadefiesgravity · 14/10/2010 20:58

LublieAva Thu 14-Oct-10 20:28:23
it is mandatory and they have to wear school uniform.
I really don't know why.

They could go and take a running jump as far as I am concerned. They have absolutely no jurisdiction once school is finished for the day.

Madness!

magicmummy1 · 14/10/2010 21:51

It's optional for children to attend at our school. We choose for dd not to attend. There are things that I would prefer to discuss with the teacher without her listening in!

Seona1973 · 14/10/2010 22:03

we are told not to bring our children so can be a bit of a pain to get someone to watch them

DontCallMeBaby · 15/10/2010 08:15

Allowed but not compulsory at DD's school. DH and I have both gone to all her parents' evenings together, bar one, and it's a pain to get childcare for such a short period, so we take her with us. There's always been a parent that we know reasonably well either before or after us, so they will keep half an eye on her, and we reciprocate when they go in. Now she's 6 she can be trusted to spend ten minutes sitting in the corridor of her own school without direct supervision (although she did have to be gestured away from smirking at her teacher through the glass panel in the door. AGAIN).

I wouldn't want her in at this age - there are sometimes things I'm not keen on her hearing, plus she's still of an age and temperament where she can't always shut up and let other people speak.

DandyDan · 15/10/2010 09:54

No, not encouraged at our local school. If children are brought along, there are a couple of class assistants/school admin team around with jugs of squash and biscuits, and they just sit and chat or look at books from the library area nearby (the parents evening is in the school hall at different tables and the kids wait in a big foyer area outside the hall).

Original poster

LublieAva · 15/10/2010 12:10

DontCallMeBaby - that's it exactly. There are soem things that i don't want either of my DC to hear. DC2 is also 6 and he responds to praise, so I don't want him to hear me ask if his writing is especially weak. Nor do I want him to hear me ask the teacher if she has any plans to give him maths that he isn't already able to do without thinking about it, because I want him to think that the teacher and i are united.

OP posts:

luciemule · 15/10/2010 13:56

Yes - in our school. And we're not allowed to call it parents evening - think it's 'Learning Conversations'

I hate it.
Plus, most of the teachers sit and look dircetly at the child and talk to them: "so .......- how do you think you're doing?" DD replies - really well thank you. Unless you specifically ask anything, they never tell you what level they're at or anything significant and it's very annoying.

I reckon it's to make it easier for the teachers and not to have any confrontations that might make their school look less than perfect!

Elibean · 15/10/2010 17:28

Yes, in KS1 at least (not sure about KS2) they ask us to bring children if possible. Its supposed to be for their benefit, really - we can talk to the teacher at other times, by appointment or just after school. I was a bit the first time, but tbh dd actually did get a lot out of it - she tried harder, was more willing with her homework, etc and came out glowing with pride. Something about being praised by the teacher in front of parents that really 'goes in', iyswim.

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