We live abroad and our son, who was at a great Montessori nursery, has been refusing to go to primary school.
We prepared all summer for him to go to the local state school and the first 2 days were ok, after that he didnt want to go and by the 3rd wk he was kicking, screaming and crying from not wanting to be left.
We spent hours with him til he would stay and on 2 occassions we both left him by force, which acheived nothing and i believe just made the situation worse and our son more insecure and unhappy. He began to even threaten about leaving on his own, and started talking about dying and that he wished we were dead...
The school brought in the psychologist who just suggested everything we'd tried already but essentially advised us to force him whatever the consequences. As this is against my principles and anything he had learned, at home or previous schooling, we have gone for the only other option to send him to the private school where his dad teaches.
While the classes are smaller, only 11 kids!, he is still not accepting it and after a week he still wont stay in the class without us with him. We've seen this schools psychologist who advised us to take it slow and stay with him as long as necessary...
He is an only child, and has had alot of attention from both parents since he was born as we are both home during the day(i work from home). We are both teachers and have always encouraged learning and given him different opportunities and experiences.
He is very sensitive and extremely shy, yet bright and his learning ahead of most kids his age, maths is yr 2-3 level.
He says school is boring and that its too easy, that he wants a member of family there with him, that they dont have toys, he is tired, doesnt want to write all the time... I dont blame him, and while I didnt dislike primary school, i cant say i see the benefit of it now that i am a parent with a son who doesnt want, or need, to fit into the system...
The director of his nursery admits that he preferred playing with other kids on a one to one basis and that it took him a while to settle and join in discussions but that once he gained a trust with the teachers and other kids he was fun and interacted.
Frustratingly HomeEd is ILLEGAL here, otherwise I,(my partner is skeptical), would have taken this road already. If he continues to oppose school, then I dont know what will happen. It may mean resorting to leaving the country and going back to the UK, but his dad is unlikely to want to go.
So I guess my question is how can you choose between a father or an education? Would temporarily separating a child from their father end up creating emotional stress equal to the trauma of having to conform to the regime of school...