Need some reassurance re. friends in reception

[GhastlyandUgly]

Hi DS is in reception and is enjoying it very much. He's in the same class as one of his best friends who he was at nursery with from the age of 14m and they are really very close.

The school that DS goes to is very close to our house but not at all close to his friend's house (they have to drive, we can walk). The school was not on friend's list but he was offered a place and they decided to take it and he has also been very happy there.

The issue has now come that friend has now been offered a place at his first choice school and, naturally his parents have decided to move him. I know it's the best option for them but both DS and his friend are really quite upset about it. DS is naturally very outgoing and has lots of friends in the class anyway but he is sad and confused and I feel terrible for him.

Has anyone experienced this and was it OK? How quickly did it take to settle down and did you do anything to help.

He will still see his friend as our DDs are at nursery together and very good friends so we get together quite a lot.

I have a similar situation with my Reception DD. Her best friend from nursery, who she has known since she was 18 months old, went to a different school. She and DD were virtually joined at the hip through their time at nursery.

DD (who has stayed at the school linked to the nursery) has thus far spent the term looking slightly bereft. However it seems that she has been playing with a wider range of children than before which I think can only be beneficial to her long term friendships. In some ways it has been "better" than if BF had been there, as she's had to rely on herself that much more if that makes sense?

We spent a lot of time focussing on the fact that we will still see her friend and they can still be best friends. DD keeps drawing pictures for her :)

I think children think very much in black and white at this age - if you tell DS his friend is going he is likely to accept it (and not think through how he will manage without him).

Please try not to worry, it sounds as though your DS is a sociable little boy and should bounce back quickly. They are remarkably resilient at this age, and IME very pragmatic in the end about these things. His friend will have the bigger adjustment to make.

My DS (6) has been put in a different class this year to his group of friends ( they are very close too, been a unit since music group at 3 yo) I was very worried about how this would affect him; he's fine, they do still play together at lunchtime so appreciate its a bit different but he has just got on with it.

Thanks redsky. DS does have a group of other children that he plays with, so I'm sure he'll be ok in the long-term. It's just it's happening right now and they have been even closer than before since they started at the school.

We've already arranged to see his friend quite a bit and that's made easier because our DDs are friends and we are too. I just want to make all of this easier for him and he's not usually sad and he apparently was v. sad this morning when his friend came into school.

Blessing in disguise I signed him up for a couple of groups that his friend doesn't do (choir and yoga) so am quite pleased about that now.

Thanks taffetacat it's helpful to hear that your DS has been OK. I just hate seeing my little boy so sad and we're all going to miss seeing his friend as much as we have done (he comes to our house a lot after school).

I do agree that his friend may find it harder. He's naturally much shyer that DS and DS has taken the lead in integrating them both into a wider group. I hope he'll be ok too as he's a lovely little boy and I think of lot of him.

We were the other family with our dd. We left at the end of y2. She's y9 now, life took us in different directions, and didn't keep much contact with the family after the first year of separate schools, as just both busy, now occassionally they will bump into each other and are like they were never apart, and now of course with the wonders of FB, they know what each are up to.

Another 2 girls she was very close to at nursery, went to different school for start of reception, I asked her the other day about them, she can't even recall who they are.

Thanks Whocan. I understand that might be the case and that's part of the sadness for me.

I'm sure long term he will be fine just want to help him through this.