Problems with Teacher (Reception)

[Damian66]

Our daughter's reception class teacher is very young - I think it's her first job. She told us that she had to tell our daughter off for not listening to her on her second full day at school. I know our daughter can be strong-willed at times (aren't all four year olds? ) but surely teachers are meant to be able to cope with these situations without 'telling off' a pupil? We are quite strict with our daughter, so it's not that she is an unruly child - quite the opposite - she is very friendly and sensitive. The teacher now seems to be a bit 'distant' and unsympathetic to our daughter, who also hurt her foot in the first week and couldn't walk properly. I read somewhere that children usually love their Reception class teachers, but that doesn't seem to be the case - our daughter doesn't want to go to school. I wish we had a more experienced teacher. Any advise/reassurance would be welcome!

Your teacher will have had four years' training before setting foot in your daughter's classroom. She will have specialised in Early Years education and will have been on placement in at least 4 different schools. She is not inexperienced -that's as long as you've been a mother and no-one would suggest you don't know what you're doing. Every teacher has a right to tell off a child and learning to listen is one of the key skills needed to be successful in school. This can come as a shock to a small child. Give her cuddles, tell her you love her and then talk about how important it is that she listens to others and that they listen to her. Have a word with her teacher in a supportive way and say you're worried that your daughter is not settling in very well - she may have some good ideas to ease the transition. Finally, children starting school get really tired - there's a lot going in and while reception classes look like a lot of fun, they are demanding environments. Make sure she gets off to sleep early, eats well and has plenty to drink. Tiredness and dehydration can make it hard for a child to focus and listen in class, making them more prone to be disruptive. Good luck.

Give the teacher a while and she will learn how to talk to parents appropriately.
'Tell her off' will become 'Gently remind her' before very long.
Many strong-willed, friendly, sensitive children take a while to get used to a different set of rules and a different setting. She may need more time to adjust.

My ds just started school and he's moaning about his teacher. However, I reckon they come down harder in the first term to get a grip on the kids and get them to know how they are expected to behave.

He's going to have to ride it through. Yes, I was a tad stung that he felt bad - but actually he is going to have to ride it through as I can't do it for him.

I'm sure it will get better.

I agree with Squeezedatbothends, especially the fact that reception children can get very tired. My dd loves school and loves her teachers. But if she is very tired, she becomes grumpy and will say that she had a 'bad day'. I do everything I can to ensure that she eats at 17.00h and is in bed by 19.00h. In this way, she is much happier. And yes, we also explain that there might be different rules at school and she has to follow the school rules when she is at school and always listen to the teachers. In the first week she really had to come to terms with that, but now she just points out what is allowed at school and what is allowed at home and where there are differences. And then we try to explain why there are those differences (more children at school for the teacher to keep an eye on, safety issues with certain tools (which she is allowed to use at home but not at school), etc. However, I also think that it is important to keep talking to your dd about her day and if there is really something that keeps bothering her then to investigate further. I would expect she will be absolutely fine in no time.

Hi all

Thanks for your comments. I agree that our daughter needs to learn to cope in the new, more structured environment and needs to do what she's told - of course! I just don't want the teacher to think of her a 'problem child' right from the start, thus getting off to a bad start. The teacher-pupil relationship is so important and I want it to be smooth sailing as much as possible.

I didn't mention before that, apart from hurting her foot very badly in the first week and thus not being very mobile for a while, our daughter also has Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis in a few of her fingers and toes, and this that can also make her tired and cranky. We've told the teacher about it but she doesn't seem to be that sympathetic.

P.S. - I'm a dad!

You should have a parents' evening soon to discuss initial settling in etc, so bring it up then? Also it's normal to have loads of contact with Reception teachers at the door before and after school - for them to tell you how the day's gone etc. So keeping on friendly terms is easy and also helps to deal with issues early one. Good luck.