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DTwins in different schools - Is it practically possible?

38 replies

rebl · 11/10/2010 18:25

Do you think it would be practically possible for me to have dd and ds (twins, in reception) in different schools?

Can drop off dd at 8:40 at N school, 7 min drive to K school so could be there at just before 9 with ds.

After school ds to the after school club on Monday - Thursday for 15 mins whilst I get dd. No idea how much that would cost though. Some friends from N school have said that they could get dd 3 days a week anyway so then maybe don't need the after school club for ds?

What are the chances of sports day, nativity, parents evening etc being on the same days?

I'm going spare with this. I just can't see dd happy in the alternative school (K). ds isn't doing well in the current school and communication from school is zero which just makes me angry. He's definatly more settled but quite frankly if they can't even be bothered to answer our direct questions about his reading then really there is no point writting in the book. They're not helping us at all with helping him to read at home yet expecting us to do it. They haven't even bothered to write in the book about what the sensory service have suggested to do about the missing radio aid reciever (went missing on Thursday but its unclear whether it was lost on the school grounds or not) and whether we need to be claiming on our contents insurance. I question whether they've even bothered to call them tbh. I'm not allowed to speak to the teacher in the morning and she's not even there in the evening (no ta or teacher standing at the door making sure the reception children go to their parents/carers anymore). She doesn't write in the book so whats the point? I give up. DS is not going to achieve his potential in a school like this and I want him to achieve his potential. He's been pigeon holed in to the trouble maker, on the special needs register with low potential therefore low attainment and poor social skills are acceptable. Thats not him, I know its not him.

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DreamTeamGirl · 12/10/2010 10:32

I have to agree that I would move them both

You will pay the full slot price for after school club even for just 15 mins- at our school thats £6.50 a day!!

She may be happy, but you dont trust the school and your relationship with them is already marred
Trust in her and move them both

Malaleuca · 12/10/2010 11:32

I've followed your story with great interest. The teacher has made no adjustment in her reading instruction for your little boy and the safety issues are serious indeed. There is no guarantee things would be better at another school but they could hardly be worse. By changing schoools you will I think be starting in a stronger position than you are at present, being substantiallay more savvy!

Some teachers do make serious efforts to inform themselves and enjoy learning how to help children with exceptional needs. Let's hope you get one.

halfapoundoftreacle · 13/10/2010 13:48

I've followed this and your other threads.
We moved our DSs this year (while they were in Y2 and Reception) as we were not convinced that the school was doing our eldest son justice over the past year or more.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I would say that once that seed of doubt is in your mind it will fester there and you'll never be at peace.
Since the move, my eldest son is thriving and there were massive gaps in his education which were identified by his new school within weeks.
My youngest son is still trying to settle in his new school, but I am positive that it was the right move. He is on the SN register and the school is being far more proactive about addressing his problems than the previous school.
My only regret is that I did not listen to my gut instinct two years ago and save us all a lot of heartache and worry.
Good luck with your decision. It's not easy, far from it and for us it was very emotional, but I have no regrets that it was the best for them educationally.

rebl · 13/10/2010 13:55

Right, I've demanded asked nicely for a meeting the teacher. I will be asking for a reason why he's not on SA+. If she again says that its because SA+ is for children with statements then I will then say I will be requesting a statatory assessment and walk away. I will immediatly write a letter to the HT pointing out the SEN code of practice 5:56 that clearly defines my ds falling into SA+ and that given the response of the SENCO to my repeated requests for this to be done for my DS I have had no alternative but to request a SA. I will also drag take DH round the other school and ask the right questions in front of him (is the gate locked?, what happens with medicines?, will DS be on SA+? and what monitoring measures will be put in place for him? etc). Then they either answer these questions correctly Smile and DH is easier to persuade to move DS and DD or they answer these questions incorrectly and I'm left knowing that the alternative school isn't right either and I'm just going to have to lump it.

Are there any flaws in my plan Grin? I'm on the war path and I will get what is right for my dc. Just don't want to alienate my dh.

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rebl · 13/10/2010 16:05

Well she didn't talk to me and she hasn't provided a time in the book for when she can talk me. This situation is impossible.

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reup · 13/10/2010 17:41

What happens at home time? Do they just let them all run out in the playground. it's terrible if they are not handed over.

sonotboden · 13/10/2010 18:05

seriously move them. maybe you could widen your net for a school if you have decided to move both? i think that it would be better for them both to be in the same school for all sorts of reasons- shared friends/experiences and you have the benefit of 2 of them telling you what is going on.

i should have done this with my middle dd- at 4 she was labelled, she was never put on SA or SA+ and we had 5 years of being told that she was unfocussed, idle etc. It was only in year 6 when i had a ed psych report done privately that we finally discovered that she was off the scale in some of her abilities but she was dyslexic with practically no working memory. essentially she had wasted her entire primary school years. not to mention 5 years of trying to get her to remember her bloody times tables.

go with your instinct

zapostrophe · 14/10/2010 12:40

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rebl · 14/10/2010 20:43

Shit. DS was witnessed wrapping a book around a girls (O) face. This was witnessed by the girls mother (C) through the classroom window. I am friends with C thank god. The teacher was not aware. O has been telling her mother for weeks about ds hitting her but C didn't want to believe it. C has spoken to the teacher and yet we have STILL not been told by the teacher that DS is hitting. No communication in the book still.

Moreover, C has also found out today from other parents that at least one other parent has been in and complained about ds hitting her daughter and has had her daughter removed from the table that ds sits on. We have not had this complaint communicated to us by the school.

I really don't understand the schools attitude. Why haven't they called us in? Why haven't they accepted our desperate pleas for help with his behaviour?

I have spoken with NDCS and they will come to a meeting with us, the ht and the class teacher (SENCO) and will support us with our request for him to be on SA+ and will also support our request for a statutory assessment. The family support worker has been fantastic today with helping me. Even DH has now accepted this is no longer an acceptable situation. He's now fuming with the school for not telling us about ds hitting other children. He is now saying he can't trust the school. Why he's taken this long to get to this point is beyond me but right now we're not argueing. He's even coming round to the idea of looking at other schools.

So we are now on the attack and I have every intention of winning this.

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zapostrophe · 15/10/2010 12:38

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rebl · 15/10/2010 15:01

Another mum spoke to me at drop off this morning. When I took him into class today he's now not sitting next to anyone Sad. There are others on his table but they're a distance away from him, the other end of the table basically. He is all alone Sad. School STILL haven't spoken to me even though they've done this. They have given me a few dates for a meeting but its looking like it'll be after half term.

Do I go and ask the class teacher about why he's now sitting alone knowing that that will kick in the conversation about his behaviour away from the meeting where the HT and NDCS are going to be attending or do I ignore it but it could be a couple of weeks where he's sitting alone?

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fedupwithdeployment · 15/10/2010 15:19

I just wanted to sympathise. This sounds dreadful.

When my DS was in reception last year, I had concerns once and wrote a note to go in with him in the morning. His teacher rang me straight back at lunchtime and followed up the following week. It was all resolved. I think your DCs school sounds appalling.

rebl · 15/10/2010 16:42

Oh FFS. I've just had a blazing row with O's mother (C) on the phone. C thinks that my parenting is lax and that I should be disciplining ds when he hits. I told her that I did last night and she said that if it was O doing this that she would ensure her child never hit another child ever again. This is so short sighted. She couldn't see that although I told him off yesterday for hitting O I can't very well tell him off every day just in case he hit someone. She couldn't see that I have no idea if my discipline is effective because the school don't tell me. I thought she was a friend, she very clearly is at best ignorant.

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